This is too easy. Usually, I’m a reach-for-the-stars kinda gal, but when a bit of news reads exactly like a practical joke, I can’t pass it up. So, you know who Hall and Oates are, and how they’re a quintessential example of the ’80s and big hair, yada yada. And, of course, you must also be aware of John Oates’ now-defunct mustache, which when around certainly gave Tom Selleck’s a run for its money. But wait. Mustaches can’t run or have money. Or can they?

Not only does Oates’ mustache star in the new crime-fighting cartoon J-Stache independently from its host’s face, it also encourages Oates, a domesticated family man, to return to his bang-out rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. "In a cartoon setting, the mustache has its own personality," says John Oates. "Just as I’m represented as the John Oates of today, the mustache is the John Oates of yesterday. The focus of the music will be on the back catalog, but it’s an open-ended situation. There’s even talk of the mustache trying to bring new bands into the picture."

This sort of makes me want to kiss John Oates in a grassy field, because I don’t know how many aging pop stars are willing to get behind a blatant exploitation of their sheer kitsch factor. Rick Astley can come too, I guess... he was pretty chill about the "Rickrolled" phenomenon.

Independent publisher Primary Wave Music Publishing are trying to find a venue for the cartoon now, which may have its debut right here on the internets. The first episode of J-Stache portrays a present-day John Oates opening a new wing of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame devoted to mustachioed rock stars.

(Does anyone else feel like this kinda sorta maybe might be a joke?)

So, there’s this new Prince tribute album, Shockadelica. It’s Norwegian and artistically diverse, featuring artists whose genres range from heavy metal to country to a goddamn symphony orchestra. It’s actually more of a cross-section of what Norway has to offer, musically, but the 5-disc, 81-song set all happens to be a gigantic lovefest for the one and only AFNAP. It’s risen to #8 on the Norwegian charts, and the whole deal is totally legal, since Norwegian label C+C Records paid their licensing fees to Prince’s people. Only 5,000 copies were produced, and no one made a cent from it, as it was a total labor of love. It was when the label sent a free copy to the Artist himself that the Purple One made his wrath known, smacking C+C down with a lawsuit and demanding all copies of the tribute album set be destroyed.

Right. Because everyone is going to rush out and buy Shockadelica, instantly prefer Dog Almighty’s cover of "Sexy MF" over the original, and boycott Prince’s version forever. Prince, I hereby dub thee Sir Bossypants. Overreact much?

You can still preview individual tracks at the C+C Records website, but don’t be surprised if someone throws a purple rock through your window with a mysterious symbol painted on it.

Last Thursday, editor Jay Babcock posted an announcement on Arthur Magazine’s website, titled "Arthur Magazine needs $20,000 by July 1 or it will die." In it, he details the LA-based magazine’s recent financial troubles, including poor ad sales, increased costs, "zero new backers," and more. Indeed, Arthur — most famous for trumpeting the adventurous realms of the musical underground with writers like Byron Coley and Thurston Moore — is still in ridiculous, credit-cards-maxed-out debt (created after Babcock saved the magazine from demise last year by purchasing publisher Laris Kreslins’ half ownership).

But, in the TMT tradition of burying the lede, I’m happy to report some good news. Despite only having six days to reach its goal of $20,000, Arthur has already raised — as of Monday morning — $20,879 from 234 gracious "participants," thus essentially saving the magazine once again!

According to Babcock’s post: "Our long-term prospects are good, if we are fortunate enough to make it through this rough patch." Apparently, the rough patch is over. But given the tightness of this situation, it definitely wouldn’t hurt to donate more.

I’m sorry, I don’t know if I can write this story yet, because I’m still giggling like a moron. LOOK. Check out the first reader comment. Poof Daddy. Genius.

ANYWAY, political ads on MTV....

Here’s an official statement from MTV Networks:

MTV Networks will accept political advertising that is national in scope, sponsored by a legally qualified candidate, a candidate’s official campaign committee, a nationally recognized political party, or the official congressional campaign committee(s) of a nationally recognized party.

The change has been touted by various MTV execs as a great way for political candidates to reach youth voters, but since it will only be accepting ads from the two major political parties, I’ll give you three guesses as to which presidential candidate will make better use of these new resources. Yes, even Democratic strategist Tad Devine agrees, saying, "I’m sure Obama’s campaign will look seriously at advertising there, given his advantage with young people."

Let’s do the math here. MTV Networks will only run political ads for the Democratic and Republican campaigns, and it’s pretty much a given that Obama has the youth vote. However, the FCC states that political candidates must be given the opportunity to have equal airtime, which means McCain will probably have to come up with something for the Real World set. This is gonna be good. Republican Bikini Beach Party Jams! I see Mr P getting all hot and bothered already.

SOHH, a site Rolling Stone labeled "the best overall hip-hip site," was invaded this morning by a "notorious hacking group." The site was plastered with Nazi images and racist, misogynist headlines. Street Knowledge has posted screenshots of the hacked website, and has also included an e-mail about the hackers from an anonymous reader. Here are some notable excerpts:

 "The details surrounding the cause of this attack is sketchy at the moment, but it has also been reported that other rival Hip-Hop sites such as World Star Hip-Hop, Dat Piff, and All Hip-Hop were under siege by the hackers as well."

 "The attack was coordinated by the hackers in retaliation due to the taunting from several members in SOHH’s JBO (Just Buggin’ Out) forum, which is designed for general discussion. The attack begain with simple spamming and defacing of the website with grotesque pictures and derogatory terms, assuming this was enough for SOHH’s forums until members continued to provoke them."

I personally noticed something was fishy when my RSS reader was feeding titles like "Urgent News!!!!," "50 Cent marries a watermelon," and "OH LAWDY I BE USIN DEM INSTANETS BOSS!" After checking out what the deal was, my browser went crazy, popping up multiple windows and flashing pornographic images.

SOHH seems to be down at the moment, and I don’t recommend you checking it out for yourself. I still can’t get the elderly-couple-having-anal-sex images out of my head. What a way to start a Friday!

If you have a young child or are just some freak who still enjoys McDonald’s Happy Meals, you may remember back in April when the fast food chain decided to promote American Idol by coming out with a series of toys that were each based on a different music genre. Collect ’em all: Disco Dave, Country Clay, Rockin’ Riley, Soulful Selma, and New Wave Nigel.

Wait... scratch that last one, as Devo are claiming that New Wave Nigel is a complete ripoff of their image. Nigel comes outfitted with an orange jumpsuit, pink sunglasses, and a hat that looks suspiciously like Devo’s famous “energy dome” hat. Hmm, sounds questionable, indeed!

Apparently, the toy also plays a “Devo-esque” song too. Devo bass player, Gerald Casale, had the following to say about the band’s position on the matter:

We are in the midst of suing them. This New Wave Nigel doll that they’ve created is just a complete Devo rip-off and the red hat is exactly the red hat that I designed, and it’s copyrighted and trademarked. They didn’t ask us anything. Plus, we don’t like McDonald’s, and we don’t like American Idol, so we’re doubly offended.

According to The Financial Times, The Beatles’ representatives recently met with Activision (Guitar Hero) and MTV Games (Rock Band) about the possibility of creating a Beatles-themed game.

Yipee...

See, I’m a young buck, a 19-year-old asshole who will never appreciate The Beatles as much as you do. I moderately enjoyed Across the Universe [Editor’s note: Scout says the songs on the Across the Universe soundtrack are better than the original versions — what an idiot.], and I most certainly do not have any Beatles in my music collection [Editor’s note: When I asked Scout if he liked Sgt. Pepper’s, he said "I like them in fajitas."] But for those of you who enjoy both music-simulation video games and Magical Mystery Tour, this may very well be exciting news to you.

So when should you expect to play some fab four on clunky plastic instruments? We’ll let you know once more info is revealed.

So, as a musician or a music fan, you’re doing stuff to make the world a better place, right? You’re supporting local venues, stimulating the economy by drinking lots and lots of cheap beer, and boosting self-esteem by helping otherwise socially awkward band dudes get laid. But now there’s an opportunity to do something MORE, whether you’re that totally rich dude from Coldplay (because he totally reads this website every day), or just some kid who wants to see, for example, The Shins and also try to stop the genocide in Darfur.

Amnesty International is looking for bands (like you, guy from Coldplay!!!) to be part of what they’re calling the Small Places tour. Named as a nod to an Eleanor Roosevelt quote about human rights being important "in small places close to home," the tour will be more of a collection of music-related events and opportunities than an actual caravan of tour buses. Spearheaded by Amnesty supporters like U2’s The Edge and Peter Gabriel, the performances kick off September 10, my birthday, and run till December 10, the date of the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It’s Amnesty’s biggest music-based project in 10 years.

So, what is it? Well, it’s an opportunity for artists to take the initiative themselves to get their fans involved with Amnesty’s message. Since it’s not a traditional tour, bands can offer incentives like meet-and-greet opportunities, special seating packages, and awesome performances. Musicians and fans will be supporting Amnesty’s 60th anniversary campaigns like campaigning to stop violence against women, ending torture, stopping the killing in Darfur, protesting China’s activities in Tibet, working for the release of Burma’s Aung San Sui Kyi, and demanding the closure of Guantanamo Bay.

To get involved with Amnesty International’s Small Places tour, visit its MySpace page.

Useless Wooden Toys, a Minneapolis hardcore punk band, lost its lead singer Christopher Johnson Saturday June 21. According to Johnson’s memorial website:

Police say 32-year-old Christopher Johnson was stabbed after an altercation in Bloomington Saturday night with a man from Warsaw. Witnesses told police the fight started after Brian White of Warsaw grabbed a woman and Johnson tried to intervene. [...] Officers later found White hiding in a cellar. He faces a preliminary charge of murder.

 Useless Wooden Toys MySpace
 Christopher Johnson memorial website
 Star Tribune story

Have you ever been caught up in the moment, lured by the siren call of Bono and his activist activities, and bought a U2 album expecting some serious ART? While buying How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb may not have given you the life-altering, mind-enhancing experience you wanted, you can now actually purchase verifiable, time-tested art from U2. If you are a millionaire that is.

The New York Times is reporting that the band is selling a Jean-Michel Basquiat original purchased by U2 bassist Adam Clayton. It goes up for sale at Sotheby’s in London July 1. The highest price a Basquiat has ever received is $14.6 million. The U2-affiliated piece is expected to get $11.7 million. What? No one wants to lay down an extra million or two for a painting that came in frequent contact with Bono himself?