Bet you thought you had the upper hand on EMI, didn’t you? You clever little Sony Acid Pro superstar! Well, serves you right — they’re gonna one-up your garbage mix of Eric Clapton’s "I Shot The Sheriff" vs. Wolf Eyes’ "Stabbed In The Face" with an official album of mash-ups by the notorious, world-renowned Go Home Productions.

Okay, so I hadn’t heard of Go Home Productions before either. But apparently Mark Vidler must have given those sexy EMI execs some very good cunningulus/fellatio action, as he gets the official "it’s okay" stamp of approval for his album of synchronized songs.

The album, the aptly titled Mashed, is set to feature such pairings as Blondie with The Doors, Kelis with Duran Duran, and my personal favorite, Iggy Pop with Peggy Lee. This CD will be different than the "usual" mashup stuff, as it won’t be as heavily dance-influenced, a la 2manydjs or Danger Mouse. Instead, it will just be a bunch of songs you already know being played at the same time.

But man, what an awe-inspiring album title. I feel a little ripped off, though, as I was planning on naming my new potato concept album Mashed, and now I’m left holding the bag.

You maniacs! You ruined everything! Damn you, Go Home Productions! Damn you all to hell!

Mark E. Smith’s prolificacy through the years has been simply bananas, no? (And I’m not just talking about PEEL Sessions!!!) With all the excitement and controversy still bubbling from their most recent tour, The Fall have decided to release a new album in early 2007, entitled Reformation. No tracklist or details about the content yet, but it’s rumored that Ben Folds will play piano on none of the tracks.

Also planned are two Fall-related books; the first is the autobiographical Renegade: The Gospel According To Mark E. Smith, which may have actual spittle-and-beer stains on select pages, while the second is Perverted By Language: Fiction Inspired By The Fall, which is a collection of fiction inspired by The Fall. Though the latter book won’t be out until June 28, TMT has acquired a fake advance copy and is pleased to offer a short excerpt:

The Man Whose Head Expanded

It was a dark and stormy night. E. G. Cunningham pulled into his driveway at 9:30 PM, much like any other night. He removed his keys from the ignition and dropped them into his suit pocket, much like any other night. In fact, everything that happened to Mr. Cunningham on that dark and stormy night was precisely the same as any other night of his life. Precisely the same, that is, except for one sinister difference. On that particular dark and stormy night, E. G. Cunningham had a horrible secret of the most jaw-dropping magnitude.

Cunningham exited his vehicle and opened the front door to greet his beautiful wife, but something suddenly gave him pause. E. G. Cunningham could not get through the front door. Luckily, his wife was not only beautiful but pragmatic, and in minutes a solution was reached: Cunningham would enter through the side window. Dinner was already set on the table as he stepped into the dining room, and his wife trembled as she ladled fresh soup into his bowl. Before the spoon was even brought to his lips, Cunningham’s cranium had suddenly expanded to the size of a baby rhinoceros.

"Why... why is this happening to me?" he wailed. "What have I done to deserve such treatment?"

"You sad, sad man," his wife whispered into his ear, an ear now the size of an adult rhinoceros. "Did you really believe I’d never find out about your child pornography ring?"

"No... no, I can explain, honey!" he shrieked. "Honey no... put that safety pin down... you can’t do this to me. You can’t do this to E.G. Cunningham!" And with that, he became the man whose head... exploded. All over the walls. His funeral was a simple affair attended by few, and in weeks his wife was married to Mark E. Smith, who meats her.

Yes, I am incapable of ever moving beyond unnecessary poop jokes. And when I think of Green Day, it brings me back to fourth grade, where I first heard both the word "dookie" and the album Dookie. It wasn’t long after that both Green Day and I became somewhat grown up. Billie Joe Armstrong & The Butt Puppets are still making the same kind of music that gained them the precarious title of "The Fathers of Punk," while I am still laughing at the word "dookie." It appears nothing has changed.

On December 19, Reprise will be reissuing the first two Green Day albums just in time for you to wet your Fall Out Boy panties before good ol’ Saint Nick pile drives down the brick anus to deliver that Mary Kay eyeliner you put atop your wishlist. The 1991 album 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours and the 1992 album Kerplunk! will be the historical context for the "Rise of Punk" for today’s anarchist youth culture.

1,039 was already reissued a couple years ago and Kerplunk! was supposed to be too, until Lookout! fucked up everything. But when a major label reissues albums, that is when I start dishing out the cash. Reprise is packing 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours full of the same extra content found on the 2004 Lookout! reissue, including show flyers, nearly 20 minutes of live performances from 1990 to 1991, Billie Joe Armstrong’s handwritten lyrics, and a 1991 radio interview.

It is also wise of me to inform you that Green Day is "hard" at work on their follow up to American Idiot, and their collaboration with U2, "The Saints Are Coming," was No. 27 on last week’s Billboard Modern Rock chart. Green Day have a song with U2? Man, I am way out of the loop. I feel ashamed. Maybe I’m not the one who should feel ashamed, which brings me to my weekly clip of P. Diddy urinating, as it ties in with this Green Day story in no way whatsoever.

Irrelevant Clip of P. Diddy Pissing

Next week (or maybe later this week, we’ll see), I will write a story about The Decemberists along with an unnecessary follow-up video of P. Diddy taking a "dookie." Oh, man!

The Halifax-born, Toronto-residing boys in Sloan have been called the “next Nirvana,” the “next Oasis,” and the “next Strokes,” not to mention the “next Big Thing” so many times, too numerous to count, over the course of their 15 years together. They have had a lot of success in their native land, but the big-time never came calling in the states, as the band have amassed a small, yet devoted, fanbase in the U.S. Think of them as the Canadian Blur, but without any ’Woo Hoo’-ing. Crap, that’s another label, which is very unfair to the band. Plus, as a live band, they blow Blur out of the water.

After 15 years and seemingly a different label for every release (DGC, the Enclave, RCA and Koch, just to name a few), you would think Sloan would be worn down by the music industry bullshit. But that does not seem to be the case. They are back on a new U.S. label, Yep Roc (Billy Bragg, Apples in Stereo, Radio Birdman), and are about to release a monster record on the American public. Out January 9, Never Hear The End Of It is a 2 LP/1 CD album containing 30 songs. The record, already released in Canada, is full of more hooks, harmonies, and melody then most artists achieve during their entire career. (For shame, Wolf Eyes, for shame.) Look for the band to be touring the U.S.A. in during the winter and spring. Will this be the record that makes takes them to the top of the Billboard charts? Probably not, but more than few people will surely be anticipating this record.

Never Hear The End Of It tracklist: 1. Flying High Again 2. Who Taught You to Live Like That? 3. I’ve Gotta Try 4. Everybody Wants You 5. Listen to the Radio 6. Fading into Obscurity 7. I Can’t Sleep 8. Someone I Can Be True With 9. Right or Wrong 10. Something’s Wrong 11. Ana Lucia 12. Before the End of the Race 13. Blackout 14. I Understand 15. You Know What It’s About 16. Golden Eyes 17. Can’t You Figure It Out? 18. Set in Motion 19. Love Is All Around 20. Will I Belong? 21. Ill Placed Trust 22. Live the Life You’re Dreaming Of 23. Living with the Masses 24. HFXNSHC 25. People Think They Know Me 26. I Know You 27. Last Time in Love 28. It’s Not the End of the World 29. Light Years 30. Another Way I Could Do It

As a rule, I generally try to not get too blog-like on your asses, but some scenes have to be set using the simplest, most conversational tone. When I was six years old, I pestered my parents to send away an enrollment form and a little bit of cash to pay for my membership in the KISS Army. Although I started listening to music from an early age, KISS was the first band I held dear to my thin chest and ribcage and regarded as "my band." For my part, I received many treasures from this inclusive club — newsletters, badges, photos, and the like. However, the most important prize was an iron-on decal that came to the mailbox one day. I immediately got my mom to affix it to a shirt and consequently wore the thing out.

Do you want a less heartfelt and much sadder story? Before I was lucky enough to have that homemade t-shirt, I actually went and had another one made at the local flea market, "Shirt Stop." It was pumpkin orange with dark blue fuzzy-felt letters that simply stated "I LIKE KISS." Can you imagine? Well, you don’t have to because the photo is to your left. Good grief man, if I had any credibility before (not likely), this posed picture of yours truly, bowl-cut intact, grinning like a jackass, proudly displaying said stupid t-shirt while perched on my Dad’s knee, sure as hell seals the deal!

As embarrassed as I am of this, I’ve never been shy about confessing my allegiance to early-period KISS. I have had no problems mostly avoiding the band’s past 25 years — including many awful group and four simultaneously-released solo efforts, the movie KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (which rules, actually), "unmasking", endless reunion tours, current reality show madness, co-writing songs with Michael Bolton, his and hers fragrance lines, the KISS Coffeehouse, and the boning of 20,000+ groupies — but still love the vintage, raw nuggets contained on those first few albums by New York’s finest. Make no mistake, I know that KISS are all about the sell and very little about the music, but that’s no reason not to be pumped about the release of KISSology Volume One: 1974-1977 this past Halloween (when else?). Needless to say, this DVD is going to be awesome when I get my hands on it. The two-disc set (three-discs in limited quantities and certain locations) covers the band’s nascent years and apparently features the stuff that all good music DVDs should: loads of archival television appearances, four full concerts (San Francisco ’75, Detroit ’76, Tokyo ’76, and Houston ’77), interviews, and rare, unreleased footage including, among other things, a performance by the band at Ace Frehley’s wedding in 1976. Bring on the bliss!

So, friends, have pity on the cherubic lame-ass in the photo, and trust me on this one. When it comes to KISS, you can take my words to the bank.

P.J. Harvey has released a B-sides compilation album called The Peel Sessions. These are recordings from broadcaster John Peel’s BBC radio show dating from 1991 to 2004. The album serves as a tribute to the late legendary John Peel, who some people might compare to Rodney Bingenheimer, except more English and less flamboyant. John Peel introduced many underground bands such as The Smiths, The Fall, and New Order into the mainstream. He also served as navigator to the now-deceased pirate radio station, Radio London. John Peel made quite an impact on PJ Harvey’s life as a friend and mentor; "Throughout my time of knowing him we kept in touch and sent postcards. Whenever I demo’d a new record I’d send it to him. I always wanted to know his opinion on things because I think he had really great taste." The Peel Sessions was recently released on the second-year anniversary of his death, October 25. He died in Cuzco, Peru alongside his wife. What a way to go.

In other news, P.J. Harvey has begun working with Flood and John Parish to create her new album a la manage a troi; no, that’s not what it’s called, but it would be interesting. The album will be more piano-based, and hopefully P.J. Harvey will roll around on top of it pulling her hair out. Release date for this album is not available.

The full tracklisting is for The Peel Sessions:

Peel 29.10.91 1. Oh My Lover 2. Victory 3. Sheela-Na-Gig 4. Water Peel 2.3.93 5. Naked Cousin 6. Wang Dang Doodle Peel 5.9.96 7. Losing Ground 8. Snake 9. That Was My Veil Peel 10.11.00 10. This Wicked Tongue 11. Beautiful Feeling John Peel Tribute 16.12.04 12. You Come Through

Wow, would you get a load of that! A real headline! How boring. Perhaps I should have scoured my press releases for something to build a series of useless puns off of, so as to create an award-winning, eye-catching headline to draw in the readers, and thus, continue making TMT the most amazing site ever.

Instead, I am forsaking all creativity and simply writing about some Canadian indie musicians. Woe is me. So there’s this guy who is in this band called Wolf Parade, and he has another band that he calls Sunset Rubdown. Before he was in this band called Wolf Parade, he was in this band called Frog Eyes, who has this other guy in it who is also good buddies with this other guy who is in this other band called Destroyer. Got it? See, these dudes decided that it was time to do something different than stand around the pool table together, and they created this other band called Swan Lake.

The trio, who have a strange obsession with ballet, are going to call their little collection of songs Beast Moans, after the scene in that one ballet where that guy comes after that woman with this dance move, then this other guy comes out, dances a little jig, and saves the woman so they can dance away into the sunset together. The 13-song album will be released on November 21 by the world’s biggest ballet-focused record label, Jagjaguwar, who was named after an extra from The Nutcracker. (I think; I dunno, you may have to research that one.)

Beast Moans:

1. Widow’s Walk 2. Nubile Days 3. City Calls 4. A Venue Called Rubella 5. All Fires 6. The Partisan But He’s Got To Know 7. The Freedom 8. Petersburg, Liberty Theater, 1914 9. The Pollenated Girls 10. Bluebird 11. Pleasure Vessels 12. Are You Swimming in Her Pools? 13. Shooting Rockets

Of course, if this doesn’t make any sense to you, you could always read more about it over at Jagjaguwar’s official site. I don’t know why you’d want to though, considering how good we are. Go, Baltimore, go!

Writing something about a "Detroit-based SSM" may just be the thing to get me on some sort of "terrorist watch list." Now don’t worry freedom lovers, I am not speaking about a Surface-to-Surface Missile, I am referring to the band that takes gritty, groovy, and driving rock, then adds some psychedelic sounds to the mix, creating some of the loudest music you could ever shake your ass to, SSM (Szymanski Shettler Morris). Fuck The Raconteurs, and don’t even try with that D12 nonsense, this is the real supergroup from the D. The three guys in the band, John Szymanski (vox/keys), David Shettler (percussion), and Marty Morris (vox/guitars) are (or have been) in some of the best Motor City bands of the last few years (The Hentchmen, The Sights, The Paybacks, Cyril Lords). Combining their skills has defiantly taken the tired sound of "garage rock" to a new level.

After 2005’s limited-pressing LP (500 copies), LP 1, the band released their proper debut, SSM, this year on Alive/Bomp. Now they are set to release a new six-song EP, EP 1, on November 7. The extended player features "Put Me In" from the self-titled record, alongside five unreleased songs. Three of the tunes were engineered by Dan Auerbach from The Black Keys, reprising his role from LP. Jazz/Funk/R&B legend Lyman Woodard even plays organ on the band’s cover of his song "Belle Isle Daze."

SSM are currently playing shows, which included a stop at the much-ballyhooed Arthur Nights Festival. Oh, and don’t worry about me and the whole "terrorist watch list" thing, either; watching me would definitely be a marathon of boring, akin to having to keep an eye on those evildoers on the high school golf team, or being assigned to keep watch over Ladybird Johnson’s grave.

EP 1 tracklist:

1. Put Me In (edit) 2. Fiction Rock + Roll 3. Bell Isle Daze 4. Country City 5. You’ll Be Glad You Did 6. Belle Isle Dub

Tourdates:

10.20.06 - Arcata, CA - The Alibi 10.22.06 - Los Angeles, CA - The Palace Theatre (Arthur Nights Festival) * 10.28.06 - Athens, OH - The Union # 11.03.06 - New York, NY - R&R (CMJ Music Marathon) 11.17.06 - Ferndale, MI - Magic Bag ^

* w/ Comets On Fire, The Fiery Furnaces, Kyp Malone, Archie Bronson Outfit # w/ Buffalo Killers ^ w/ The Paybacks

I really like EPs. Who’s with me? I know, lately everyone thinks of them as some sort of album preview. Wolf Parade, Cold War Kids, and others just compile those (usually newly recorded) EP songs for their first LP. It makes it weird then to think about, because what a good EP does is it makes you want to hear more and wish that group’s undoubtedly impending LP (with all new songs, ’cuz you’re greedy) would reach your ears toot-sweet.

Austin’s own Voxtrot love the EP. They have released two in the last two years (three in the last three, if you count their locally-sold, 2003 CD-R EP), and have just announced their intension to release another one. November 7 will see that EP (on CD and 7-inch), Your Biggest Fan, coming out in the U.S. only on PlayLouder/Beggars Group. While PlayLouder has stated that an LP may come out in early 2007, the V says on their web site that "it’s going to be a while before the world sees a Voxtrot long-player" and that this EP will have to hold over you Voxtrot-ters out there. Ramesh Srivastava, (Vocals, Guitar) says on his blog "We [Voxtrot] should (fingers crossed) be recording an album in London during November and December." Until then, you Voxtrot-iacs will just have to take solace in the EP and few tour stops.

Your Biggest Fan tracklist

1. Your Biggest Fan 2. Trouble 3. Sway

Tourdates:

10.26.06 - Houston, TX - Walters On Washington # 10.27.06 - Denton, TX - Hailey’s # 10.28.06 - Austin, TX - Emo’s *# 11.01.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Troubadour & 11.02.06 - San Francisco, CA - Popscene ^ 11.04.06 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall # 11.05.06 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle # 11.06.06 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom 11.07.06 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom

* = w/ Beirut ^ = w/ Love Is All # = w/ Yellow Fever

posted by c. schell

(The only confirmed show so far is an appearance at the All Tomorrow’s Parties Nightmare Before Christmas 2006 event, curated by Thurston Moore and running December 8-11. The Stooges will actually be playing two performances there, one on the first night and another on the penultimate. Besides The Stooges, My Cat Is An Alien are also playing — and probably some other bands? If any of you want to read more about the recording process, you should get on the Internet and read Mike Watt’s blog about it.)