It’s the TMT failsafe: when struggling for a story idea, confuse the band’s name with some other noun. Today, I confuse the English band, Clinic, with a methadone clinic. Don’t worry, Scout, I’m not really a junky.

Of course I know about Clinic. Where do you think I go every Wednesday at noon? Get my shit worked up real good. It’s a bummer though, because if I had it my way, I’d only go once a month. Laws say they can only give me, at most, one week’s supply of methadone. Major bummer. So, yeah, I know about Clinic.

It all happened by accident, of course. One of my dudes said, "Hey, inject yourself with this shit. It feels good." I figured it was something innocuous like vitamin C. Turns out it was heroin — chick, brother, Harry Jones, China white, PURE H. Did it feel good? Did I feel like God? Hell yes, and before I knew it, I was full on like King Kong. I was floating. I was chasing the dragon. I was a sleepwalker.

So, yeah, again, I know about the clinic. So? Oh shit! You meant Clinic, not the clinic. Of course! What about them? They cleaned me right up... err, I mean, yeah rock ‘n’ roll! Just a sec, let me "Google" the fuck out of ‘em. Ahhh, yes, yes, now I remember: "a decade of funk, celebration and soft metal." They wear masks. Do you think they’d hook it up with methadone?

I know Clinic. They are the dudes who tour and don’t come to Indiana. Don’t you hate hearing tour announcements and then finding your state not on the itinerary? It’s like a handjob with sandpaper. Maybe.

But yeah, these dudes, Clinic, not the dudes at the clinic, are pushing out their fifth studio album — not weekly supplies of methadone. Titled, Do It!, the album will be released April 8 from Domino Records. Instead of turning into a cotton shooter, you should listen to the first single from Do It!. Visit clinicvoot.org February 1 for a free download of "Free Not Free"/"Thor."

There, of course, will be a tour to support Clinic’s new album. Ideally, I’ll be seeing these guys in NYC because I’m tired of the weak-ass Nixon shit that’s been filtering into the Midwest lately. So, if anybody has a room for me in May, let me know. Okay? Thanks.

Do It! tracklisting:

1. Memories 2. Tomorrow 3. The Witch (Made to Measure) 4. Free Not Free 5. Shopping Bag 6. Corpus Christi 7. Emotions 8. High Coin 9. Mary & Eddie 10. Winged Wheel 11. Coda

Here are the tourdates:

05.08.08 - Brooklyn, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg 05.09.08 - Boston, MA - Paradise 05.10.08 - Montreal, QC - La Sala Rossa 05.11.08 - Toronto, ON - Lee’s Palace 05.12.08 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle 05.13.08 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry 05.16.08 - Vancouver, BC - Richards 05.17.08 - Seattle, WA - Neumo’s 05.18.08 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge 05.19.08 - San Francisco, CA - Independent 05.20.08 - Los Angeles, CA - Troubadour 05.23.08 - Austin, TX - Emo’s 05.24.08 - Baton Rouge, LA - Spanish Moon 05.25.08 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl 05.26.08 - Chapel Hill, NC - Cat’s Cradle 05.27.08 - Lancaster, PA - Chameleon Club 05.28.08 - Washington, D.C. - Black Cat 05.29.08 - Baltimore, MD - Sonar 05.30.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s 05.31.08 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom

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