Dear DJ Peevo Estevo,
I’ve been tweaking my FruityLoops, massaging my Traktor sync button, polishing my Numark Mixtrack Pro, and alphabetizing my dub sirens for months now, but I just can’t seem to get the right feel for my sets. I’ve tried all the genres and several different accents for my over-the-mic “shout outs,” but I just cant seem to get people to dance. What’s your advice?
Edwin De Marsbar
It’s always great to try and cast a few slimy nuggets of wisdom to the young hapless DJ wanderer, lost in a desert of sound. I like to think of a great DJ set as a workout. You start by warming those tender muscles with some light psychedelic swirls, and then you hit them hard in the calves with a few serious slabs of bass frequency. Now that everyone is feeling tenderized, you lead your gagging crowd in a series of highly organized gesticulations, really extracting the laboring energy they no doubt squandered on laptops and treadmills earlier that day. Their attention is yours to command and manipulate. You want to make them feel like they are at leisure while actually working them harder than any boss ever has. No doubt, with this advice in hand, you’ll exit the stage after your next gig into a throng of sweat-soaked, aching admirers. Here’s hoping.
Yours, as ever,
DJ Peevo Estevo
Corporate Control’s debut album Ten Dry Nails is out now on Upitup Records. Stream the track “A Wilderness of Size” below: