Kool Keith
Total Orgasm 2 [mixtape]

The original Total Orgasm mixtape was my third favorite album of 2012. I’ll listen to that album until it digitally deteriorates on my computer/phone/thumb-drive/etc. But Total Orgasm 2 is kind of like that hungover morning after 12/31: nobody is really THAT interested; Mickey may have turned over night; and there’s the argument on the table whether or not Kool Keith wrote all the parts for his eight (or so) featured musicians. I don’t think he did. They’re too rhyme-y for Kool Keith’s blue-blood flow. It’s kind of like when R. Kelly stooped down to Rick Ross’ level on “Speeding” with “Sitting in my living room watching the Grammys; wishing that was me that was on the Grammys.” I mean, like, if Kool Keith were to stoop to the level of all the people featured on his mix, which he doesn’t REALLY, it would definitely take away from it when you got too much repetitive meter on a Kool Keith joint. Or, it’s like going from Rich Forever to God Forgives and I Don’t. Anyhow, I’m hoping this year is way better in hip-hop than it has thus far presented, though I imagine our fool Samuel Diamond would say differently. Maybe Mystikal will blow us up??

• Kool Keith: http://totalorgasm.bandcamp.com

DOOM

“Doomsayer” [remix by Young Guru]

Dropped in true DOOM fashion, “Doomsayer” was posted late last year with no information regarding intention or its placement in the grand scheme of the ever-expanding DOOM mythos. It begins with a deep-throat clearing, as if the metal-faced wordsmith is waking up from a long hibernation, and ends with the usual world-domination Dr. Doom sample. And it’s good to see the supervillain is still using all of those non-threatening lyrics like “hunk-a-junk trunk,” “sanitary napkin bin,” and “winter fresh banana berry blend” to complete his world takeover declarations. Let’s hope this is the start of something bigger.

• DOOM: http://rappcats.tumblr.com
• Young Guru: http://twitter.com/Young_Guru

Susan Balmar

CCG

I think my tape player is dying. I have to stop buying these things at thrift stores. It’s starting to melt the tapes, and I probably won’t be able to find another one because these labels only release editions of, like, 20 tapes and they sell out immediately. Regardless, I’m not sure that what’s left of the throbbing, pre-warped samples of CCG would have survived the process of mixing it down to tape anyway, and Ms. Balmar didn’t bother, claiming on Tumblr:

BEEN SITTING ON IT FOR A LONG TIME AND DONT WANT TO GET MONEY FOR IT AND DONT WANT TO GIVE TO LABELS EVEN SLF JUST FUCKING WANT IT TO SIT THERE AND PEOPLE JUST HEAR IT AND THINK, ALRIGHT THEN. ITS ALL FUCKED UP AND AWFUL BUT ITS MY BABY, CASTRATED OF VV SCOPE PRODUCT.

So, download it over here, listen to it, and think what you will of it (preferably “alright then”).

• Susan Balmar: http://balmar.bandcamp.com
• SLF Tapes: http://www.slftapes.com

Various Artists

Whiteout [mix curated by Crystal Dorval]

Okay. Hanukkah is over, right? Annnnnd Christmas is about to give me a three-day work week. So in celebration of days-off, here is Whiteout: a mix of melted Christmas classics curated by Crystal Dorval and starring 16 musicians warping you with wave after wave of woozy holiday spirit! Sing-along too. Even if you don’t know the musicians. Bond with them. Chances are, you’ll hear about ‘em in the new year. SCOPE SCOPE SCOPE!!!

• Crystal Dorval: http://crystaldorval.com
• Whiteout: https://soundcloud.com/whiteoutcomp

Dean Blunt

The Redeemer [excerpt]

The Redeemer by Dean Blunt, Spring 2013. That’s all we know at the moment. More info coming soon.

• Hippos In Tanks: http://hipposintanks.net

Lil B

Glassface [mixtape]

The onus placed upon music journalists to come up with something new to say every time Lil B releases a mixtape has grown farcical, but a couple of viscerally appreciable facts distinguish Glassface from the outset. For one, it features certainly the most professional album art of Lil B’s prolific past year. And more importantly, the BasedGod sets things off with a sampled ‘n’ screwed nod to the classic “No Way Down” by 2012’s saddest musical casualty, Air France. Swimming in those beautiful sounds and dreams long gone, Lil B’s mortified rhetoricals feel strangely apropos: “What happened to my face? …Why did you do this to my beautiful face?” Truly, now more than ever: Thank You BasedGod.

• Lil B: http://www.basedworld.com

  

CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we'll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.