True story: back in high school, my friend Brent (then known as Triple B for Big Bad Brent, or Triple for short) used to throw some pretty epic house parties. The events themselves have all melded in my mind into one legendary rager, but I do remember one particular morning-after.
I’d woken up on a recliner in Brent’s living room. Most of my friends and acquaintances were still sprawled about the couch and the floor, but when finally everyone who could rise did, we all walked to the deli down the street to pick up some egg sandwiches.
So far, this all seems pretty routine, right? However, when we reached our destination there were two cops there ordering breakfast; no big deal, except that one of them singled me out of the group, saying something like, “Hey, what’s the matter with you?”
I’d just smoked a little weed and probably still smelled of booze, so naturally I assumed that he was referring to my intoxicated state. Brazen 17-year-old anti-authoritarian that I was, I fired back, “What’s the matter with ME?! There’s a 50-year-old man down the street with little kids locked up in his basement, and you’re asking what’s the matter with ME?!”
Wide-eyed, the cop mercifully returned his attention to the counter. My friends, on the other hand, burst out laughing. I knew what I said was funny in a sick kind of way, but I didn’t think it was that funny, so I was a little bit confused. It was only when I went to grab an orange juice from the drink cooler that I realized what was going on; there, in the reflection of the cooler’s glass door, I saw that overnight my face had been tagged up with more dick drawings than I’d ever seen in one place. I kid you not when I say every inch of my countenance was covered in Crayola marker.
At first I was extremely pissed and embarrassed, but when the cop left without arresting or even searching me, I too was able to laugh at the whole situation, even though it’d take me the better part of an hour to wash my face clean.
Anyway, speaking of breakfast and sophisticated ignorance and drawing on people, the recently released video for “Sophisticated Ignorance” off Steddy P and DJ Mahf’s new album Breakfast with Doctor Gonzo features a woman waking up covered in body art by none other than DJ Mahf’s brother, and my favorite comic book illustrator in the whole world, Jim Mahfood a.k.a. Food One. How’s that for a co-inky-dink?!