The Minotaur never asked for his day job — or to be born, for that matter. He was the product of a sexual liaison between a bull and the queen of Crete, engineered by the ever-bitter Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love. When King Minos of Crete wouldn’t part with his beloved, sacrificial white bull, Aphrodite decided to make his wife fall for the beast, and ol’ Minny was born as a result, doomed to live a life of chilling in his labyrinth, kidnapping maidens, and killing any interloper that dare enter. The ‘Taur life, according to Thee Oh Sees, is a lot less interesting — more day job than Dungeons & Dragons. Being a Minotaur is a job just like any other; dude has to punch the clock, make sure the prisoners are well fed, and decapitate any knights who amble in (there’s even a trash can for the noggins — company policy). And yet, our monster is a slacker: he’s sleepy, mostly, rather than scary; much of his time is spent loafing around in the break room, watching the tube and admiring the bovine babes he’s got plastered on the wall. But, as we learn, sleeping on the job is deadly, even if you’re a 6-foot, tattooed hunk of fur and muscle. Read the employee’s manual, guy!!