The Courtneys

“Mars Attacks (featuring Young Braised)”

The Courtneys are a self-procliamed “sun drenched flying nun influenced pop” band from the Vancouver scene, which seems to be killing it in a number of genres as of late. Onto the track: my initial impression here is a strong Best Coast vibe, in that it’s a fairly straightforward power-chord + reverby vocal harmonies number, altogether agreeable yet not at all groundbreaking – and specifically I’m picking up on that track she made for Converse (as in the shoes your roommate is wearing right now) which had a lil rap verse on it. And it is indeed Young Braised’s presence on this track that simultaneously makes it vigorously smh-worthy and what makes it stand out from the rest of the three-chord jangle pop pack.

The verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus structure, extraterrestrial lyrical content, and element of almost aggressive goofiness from YB’s verse are all straight from the playbook of none other than Blink 182, and if the track doesn’t share any similarities to that band in production or aesthetic, there is a strong similarity in how much of a fuck they give about creating anything like “high art” (although all parties probably were really high while they wrote and recorded the song). Actually this is to their credit - if you go to a label named Hockey Dad Records looking for the next major breakthrough in Western thought, that’s on you, and anyways who cares? Fuck it, let’s just have a good time. Basically I’m too much of a scrooge to really endorse this outright, but I will say that this one stands out simply because you can feel how much fun both The Courtneys and Young Braised had while making it.

• The Courtneys:
• Young Braised:
• Hockey Dad Records:

Blanche Blanche Blanche

“New Food”

So, it’s official, Zach Philips is ending his Internet existence in 2015, as Hints to Pilgrims is the final (for now?) Blanche Blanche Blanche album. Which, last night my pal Mickey was saying the same about stopping all his news-reading and shopping and social media and bullshit research addictions in 2015 too, and I’m like, “Fellahs… that was THIS year, no?” Needless: ‘14 and ‘15 are both perfect times to drop the FUCK OUT of the online world and actually saying good morning to people without having it e-mailed.

And what a better time for Blanche Blanche Blanche to end: on the highest note. As they eating up all the “New Food,” the sense of branding out chimes them away from the Age of Information, so they put tennis shoes on their PCs and watch ‘em truck on in the drifter lifestyle. Even though NOTHING can get weirder than season nine of Grey’s Anatomy, the video for “New Food” by EyeBodega traverses through levels of Blanche Blanche Blanche’s left-field of mono-tone rhythms, excavating new colors of tension via visual melody struggle.

No matter how shit my computer at work may be, I’ll be jamming on Blanche Blanche Blanche vibes (as they’ve gone DEEP with discography for the past three years) well into 2015, thus Hints to Pilgrims is their perfect (immediate) swansong. Love you, Bx3!

• OSR Tapes:

public spreads the news


Good things generally happen to good people.

And Wes Ables is a nice person, man.

Joshua Rogers brought Wes back onto the staff of Illuminated Paths.

He recently moved to Nashville.



That last part is super dope because Illuminated Paths got the goods.

He’s back in full swing with public spreads the news – his solo work as a really sick looking neon sign.

Dude likes curtains.

Wes has a mini EP AGE SAY LOCATION out on Bandcamp and what we’re going to call a B-side to it below.

“F/2011/SAYAXE” is blaring through my apartment right now.

The track has a Mariah-Carey-halfway-through-becoming-a-starfish-on-an-Animorphs-cover feel to it.

[Editor’s note: ^^^^^holyshit!!!]

• public spreads the news:
• Wes Ables:


“A Shift”

Malta’s “A Shift” is straight-up the future of R&B. Keep it simple. Cont. singing, yeah. But make it reflect the music, plz. Sick of all this. “Oh good, we got a beat, I’ll sing to it now!” Felisha in front of me at work is ALL about singing and/or performance – if she can’t belt out in editorial while editing, she’ll just take a hand off the keys for a second to wiggle a Mariah finger to her highest note in “All I Want For Christmas” while it’s July, and frying outside. Just saying, ANYONE can be an R&B start, but most are just a Mariah finger wiggle in comparison to what Malta is working in “A Shift.”

Just this intro is so PERFECT to the track, it’s borderline insatiable. How do you define your music while also try to represent personality and genuine article? Well, don’t pretend. Make your music. And Malta kills it with pitch switching production, beat melting rhythms, and twitch-into-syrup vocals, blending both vocal performance and finely executed instrumentals that are pretty most post-chillwave. Haven’t heard that genre in awhile? Well, that’s tite, b/c Malta isn’t necessarily bringing it back, but picking up where it started to fizzle, and made it a whole new world of music to explore.

Good old Zoom Lens is popping off Malta’s مالتا for free download TOMORROW, so enjoy “A Shift” in R&B for just a taste today, and head on over to the labels’ Bandcamp in the morning for more swag where the streaming below came from:

• Malta:

Hannah Diamond

“Every Night”

I remember all the times that we would go to sleep. You’d say you like me, but did u ever love me? Maybe it’s true, but you never gave me anything but broken flowers, always saying you wanted less love, more sex. It was hard.

But this is the way I feel: I don’t wannabe “easy money” in this life because this life is all life — a lifestyle. It’s goin’ crazy in the beamer. It’s skipping blush. It’s sharing secrets with snow other one, because nobody does it better than you.

So when you get home, you should climb up to the window and bring it. Show me your beautiful face. Yeah! Let’s do it! You’d just turn around and close your eyes, and we’d kiss! Then we’d be in heaven, not just in my dreams or for just one more day, but every night.

So, hey cutie, why don’t you hit me up? I know you’ve got time.

Finally. You’re here. <3 <3


Hannah Diamond is reportedly in the studio working on a full-length album for 2015. #buryingthelead

• Hannah Diamond:
• PC Music:

CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we'll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.