Bitch I'm Madonna
“Bitch I’m Madonna” (feat. Nicki Minaj, prod. Diplo and SOPHIE)
Tracks from Madonna’s Rebel Heart leaked all the way back in December and we still haven’t talked about it! Obviously the one we care about most is the Sophie/Diplo/Nicki Minaj collaboration (most likely “Bitch I’m Madonna”). It’s almost two sonically different songs, the Madonna/Sophie verses, then the Diplo chorus that adds Minaj later on, though this version might drastically change by the March 9 release date. Effectively Sophie has QT’d Madonna, using the same formula as “Hey QT” except with THE pop star, effectively turning her into an advertisement for herself. Even Diplo’s gotten a kawaii revamp to his all-too-familiar beats. We don’t know Sophie’s intentions, but it seems as if this is all to pull the wool over mainstream music’s eyes (ears?). Or maybe Sophie’s just a big fat sellout. [Editor’s Note: almost saw a physical fight break out at work over the question, “Who’s helping who out: Madonna featuring Nicki or Nicki allowing Madonna to feature her?” when MDNA came out in 2012, so I’m beyond stoked for the new album come Spring and people be crowding errrywhere in NYC.]
The championship banners from the old schoolhouse of Scopitones have been shredded by the blade of a pre-programmed vintage beat.
The players are cloaked and their backs are turned away from the camera. They are walking away from the bandstand, heading towards the old bath room, under the old dark chocolate orange lighting.
The players are generating schoolhouse blues with width of seismic chords traveling out from amps. The amps are tumbling down steel stairs - followed by planks of wood. At the foot of the stairs, the planks land hard and split then spit out termite fossils - the etymology of entomology.
It makes for a puzzling Scopitone. The players are too far down the hall, behind digital distortion and shrieks, to provide any explicit action. The eyes try to follow the path of the small moving dark spots down the hall behind a twittering signal, but the score ends before composition. A strange taste of vintage filed down on the edges and volumized.
Pat Modugno – of Ohio’s lil bugged-out noise trio MothCock – is entering the room as Khaki Blazer, so shut the fuck up and let a boiii stunt on them beats for a minute. And as he takes the first step, the fellah just flailin’ ALL the Kicks. Save your “Oos” and “Ahhs” for Pat Sajak and his fake baldness. Shit, and y’all though D/P/I and Bootleg Tapes ripped up the post-beat scene game: NAH!!! There are sounds here that both fuck boys and heavy packin’ Gs can front on lyrically. Right now, drop your work and lay out a verse to one of these. Can’t on the spot? Better grip that Internet, Age of Information 5w4gg3r7 by naming your own price for digitals that can accompany you during that FUCKING commute; make the walking distance filled with Kicks. Who knows, it’s possible you could find that Khaki Blazer you always wanted.
Think of Kicks more like the time you found Pat Modugno modeling a khaki suit at the local thrift store. You all, “Yo, Pat. It’s me Clifford. I know you ain’t known me ever before, but…” and he like Shhh in a non-threatening but determined artist Shhh. Then you make it to the music isle and someone, probz the man in the Khaki Blazer, put a BUNCH of C90 dubs of Kicks in the bin, so you stock up and get popping on a few reelers ASAP.
• Khaki Blazer: https://khakiblazer.bandcamp.com
“Faust (Dominant Mix)”
Full screen, full volume, right now, you and you:
Well, that’s one way to get your industrial techno: No frills, no stereo, no dynamics. Just
Boom. Pow. Boom. Pow. Boom. Pow. Boom. Pow. Boom. Pow. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. On. Your. Damn. Skull. ‘Til. You. Can’t. See. Straight. Now. Now. Now. Now. Right. Now. Right. Boom. Pow. Boom. Pow.
Pointed to this track and its subsequent tape release for the Neuromodulations label by the fine Tachyons+ VHS surveillance video manipulation you can find below, courtesy of Bleu Nuit Video’s Rob Feulner, who blew me away last year with his incredible video-synth-opera “Faces of Emmanuelle.”
• Neuromodulations: http://neuromodulate.tumblr.com
“Oh, C Monster is great because he can listen to EVERTHING.” Wrong! I’ve never been great at doing anything, EVER. Read the past thousand posts I’ve done in Chocolate Grinder. HINT: It ain’t “GREAT.”
In addition to my non-greatness, I can also not listen to EVERYTHING, because they still making commercials with music. Know when people say, “That’s too commercial for my taste?” Well, aside from a visual entity of this statement, it exactly works for music.
Think about the last four commercials you watched, but specifically remember the music atop these visuals. Try listing the similarities these songs all have. No continue until you die and avoid listening to this music by choice.
That is, unless you’re interested in a lil bit of the hold hyperbole, and in that case, ZOOM LENS has found the multiple layered commercial soundtrack of your dreams: DJ Obake’s “Voyager.” In “Voyager,” DJ Obake has found everything you find in commercials, or “What is so COMMERCIAL about music?” and triplicated and triplicated and triplicated these antiquated tracks into something beyond next level, but a variety of levels of music. Just layers caked into each other streaming left to right to right to up to down to left to up to right, down, left, up.
ZOOM LENS just popped of DJ Obake’s H last week, which includes “Voyager,” streaming below: