“The Loneliest Bitch”

Nahhh. It’s not worth it. I know it. Don’t play this game. It’s in January. Assuming so; I mean, it’s at 20%. And I’m glad it’s that way. No PR. Straight fuckery. “Coggery,” yes. I should be asleep. I shouldn’t be drunk. Don’t worry about it. Hit up work on that hangover [NOTE: my stomach has a depth, and it’s tomorrow/today]. Let’s play that branding trading card game. “Like them nude cards people pass out in Vegas?” I got that yuuung Randal Nayrodian. Play it at coke level max. “30% unemployment”: scare tactics. I’m talking like 100% extreme red-eye, bed-to-drive-to-work-by-noon-style scare tactics. Oh, but okay. Let’s go to bed. Pretend you’re reading this. Act like you didn’t have a-one-too-many. She’ll smell it. She’ll wrap your everything around a circular cut hole in wood and make you beg for it. Where you going? Won’t you listen? This “The Loneliest Bitch.” And she just want what you can give. Express yourself. Get offline. Become one. This a Goaty Tape. Help the everything. THIS is Shark Attack Deathmatch. Evolve from Moppy to Chicklette.

• Goaty Tapes:

Shield Your Eyes

Live in Nantes

In my personal poll of “seemingly underrated contemporary British Guitarists,” the top spot would be subject to a Deliverance-style dual between Steph from Shield Your Eyes and David Tattersall from The Wave Pictures. Despite my own predilection for such jousting, the two of them would no doubt reject any forced competition, instead joining together for some lengthy blues guitar jam (the good kind, don’t worry) over a few bottles of local ale and a decent curry.

I’ve spent countless hours blasting Shield Your Eyes’ last full-length, Volume 4, air drumming with my arms, air guitaring with my feet, rotating my neck like a broken Terminator. They’re the kind of band I find it very difficult to write about in any witty or interesting way, because there’s a part of me that just wants to write “Shield Your Eyes are so fucking good” repeatedly until the text box gets full or my fingertips get tired.

I realize this is lazy journalism, but sometimes greatness instills laziness.

Here they are live in Nantes anyway, with a new album apparently on its way for the fall.

Shield Your Eyes also have a load of free stuff for download at their website.

• Shield Your Eyes:
• Gnats Clit Recordings:

Seth Graham

“Speed Vomit”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!once i vomited on this dude’s car while he was dangerously wedged between my whip and this other broad’s ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!when my girl voms, she sits on the bowl, hurling into a trash can, and doesn’t stop because shes “still sick” and is swaying due to drunking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!one night i woke up with puke in our bed, and i swear it wasn’t mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i still have yet to “Speed Vomit” with Seth Graham, but it’s on my TO-DO list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Sean McCann must’ve vomited at the velocity of Creaky Clumsy while mastering it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!Tranquility Tapes gonna be puking Seth’s Creaky Clumsy tape this fall, so snag one quick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
btw, that’s Keith’s car, and he’s patting Seth on the back axing, “r u ok?”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!this is necessary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Seth Graham:
• Tranquility Tapes:

Jonathan Pfeffer


One frequent problem with the New Complexity and its pop music counterpart, math rock, is that the composers behind such works often prize virtuosity and musical complexity above all else. It’s not that difficult metrical modulations and elaborate tonal systems are in any way “bad,” but there are many instances where the difficulty and technicality of the material seem solely employed to show off the artist’s skill.

Despite working with extremely mathy musical elements, Jonathan Pfeffer has never succumbed to mere technical masturbation. Listen to the work of his former band Capillary Action, and it becomes apparent that Pfeffer is quite skilled at coaxing grooves and memorable melodies out of even the most complex structures. These abilities are on full display with Pfeffer’s new composition “Bodega” which amazingly manages to work Ferneyhough-esque rhythms into footwork-like grooves and genuinely shocks when a rap begins seven minutes into the piece. Despite these seemingly disparate elements, “Bodega” flows incredibly well and makes me think of what might happen if Zach Hill incorporated more of his math rock background into some of his Death Grips beats. There are many contemporary classical composers who are attempting to mix hip-hop/dance music elements with the technicality of formal composition but Pfeffer has set a high bar for cross-pollination success with “Bodega.” Unlike many of his peers, it’s clear that Pfeffer has absorbed and synthesized the styles that he chooses to work with, and as a result, “Bodega” manages to simultaneously groove while impressing with technicality.

Listen to “Bodega” via Pfeffer’s SoundCloud below:

• Jonathan Pfeffer

Pete Rock & Camp Lo

80 Blocks from Tiffany’s Pt. 2

A lot of people think that Camp Lo fell off hard after their classic debut, Uptown Saturday Night. They see each subsequent release as a disappointment, a failure to recapture the magic of that initial offering. I’m of a different school of thought. To me, each Camp Lo album is a Hattori Hanzo sword, and as Michael Madsen’s Budd said in Kill Bill: Vol. 2, “If you’re gonna compare a Hanzo sword, you compare it to every other sword ever made… that wasn’t made by Hattori Hanzo.” Through this lens, each Camp Lo album post-USN is not a failure, but yet another imaginative adventure into a beautiful and exotic realm of atemporal funk and otherworldly feats of linguistic grandeur.

80 Blocks from Tiffany’s Pt. 2 is no different, except for the fact that instead of unofficial third member Ski Beatz or an ensemble of others, it features the often imitated but never duplicated Soul Brother #1 Pete Rock in the producer’s chair. And if you think about it, this soul/funk combination makes perfect sense. After all, one of the main reasons CL Smooth’s voice always sounded great over Pete Rock’s beats was that it was… well, smooth. And in terms of rap delivery, who’s smoother than Sonny Cheeba and Geechi Suede? The March 2011 release of the first 80 Blocks from Tiffany’s mix, comprised almost exclusively of previously released Camp Lo a cappellas and Pete Rock instrumentals, provided some idea of what this fantasy-rap team might sound like, but even that well-blended teaser tape couldn’t adequately foreshadow just how tight this project truly is.

Stream the new mixtape below, watch the 1979 documentary 80 Blocks from Tiffany’s on YouTube, spend the rest of your life combing the BX for whichever poetry-club-cum-interdimensional-portal gave our world Camp Lo, and when finally you give up your search, just be thankful that they’re still here.

• Pete Rock:
• Camp Lo:


CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we'll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.