Tarkin Turfer


Creating the first human-made human has always been dreamed of, but what if it were an actual reality? Here at Tarkin Turfer, dreams are exactly how the business model of reality works. With patented Undercurrents creating life in the inanimate, bringing the dead to life and love and thought again is a thing of appointment. Check in with the receptionist. Have a seat next to your lifeless loved one. Carry them in once you’re called on back, and an hour later, it’s like nothing ever happened, and you’re at the Friendly’s across the street having some ice cream and remembering the old times at Fazolie’s.

But think to yourself JUST how safe and pain free the healing process is: Undercurrents take hold of the braindead mater, sounds flourish your nodes like static electricity, and they awake under the Tarkin Turfer roof, happy and alive. Just make sure the rest of your body survives the fall. As well, their Rocket Machine technology is specific to animals and grows ever and always larger within each reanimation.

Find the Undercurrents healing of Tarkin Turfer via Rocket Machine Tapes now before it’s too late, as their Cray and Charlatan tapes in the same batch have already sold out!

• Tarkin Turfer: http://www.discogs.com/artist/3352901-Tarkin-Turfer
• Rocket Machine Tapes: http://rocketmachine.bandcamp.com


“Don’t Wanna / Let’s Do It”

The enigmatic London-based imprint PC Music just released its twelfth single, “Don’t Wanna / Let’s Do It,” which comes courtesy of the lovable, snuggable, girl-who-likes-long-walks-with-hot-guys GFOTY, whose Secret Mix from earlier this year made our Second Quarter Favorites list. The track — first heard during GFOTY’s sublime segment on PC Music’s incredible DISown Radio mix — is a hyperactive transitory dance number, animated by a bizarre thinking-aloud neurosis that perfectly captures the anxiety, obsession, and indecision of the 21st century. And, as with all of PC Music’s stuff, it’s best heard before and after more PC Music tracks.

Now can someone please get her a can!?!?


• GFOTY: http://dontwanna.pcmusic.info
• GFOTY: https://soundcloud.com/gfoty
• PC Music: http://pcmusic.info

[Photo: Organ Armani]

Ravioli Me Away

“Cat Call”

Everything you have on top of the pasta you can put inside the pasta.”

Ah Ravioli, the most radical of pastas. While those ugly strutting spaghetti strings roll around the pan singing Robin Thicke and sliming together like a fraternity gang bang, Ravioli just chills, mysterious. Ravioli, the edible present with a mystery inside, happiest drizzled in olive oil with a bit of grated cheese. Unpretentious. Gregarious, but not some little hollow sheeple like those mothefucking macaronis. The perfect structure of a square pasta pillow fused with all improvised spontaneity of a mushed up filling. Prepared for hours but rustled up in minutes.

Listen to those mewing synths. Feel each word, like a thrusted upper, cut straight out of “Self Defence for Women and Girls.” Catch that creeping bassline.

I’ve been blasting this tune for a few months now, wondering how it could get any better. A video, that’s how. One with PVC vogueing, bleak post-industrial PowerPoint backdrops, hand sandwiches, and the best use of a can of Boost on record (I’m keeping a record). As the songs joyous coda implodes into a monologue that would have made Polly Styrene proud, I’m left with the taste of something utterly empowering, yet clearly not aimed at empowering me, a bloke by most societal standards and afforded a privileged cat-call free life on that basis. Unlike almost all my women friends, I’ve never had to shout down a prowling arsehole in the street. Here’s an almighty shout-down, with anger and humor alchemised into a uniquely liberatory amalgam. It’s been a long time since a song has left my head in such a feminist tangle, and been such righteous fun.

Ravioli Me Away release The Inevitable Album on August 18 through Good Job Records, followed by a UK tour (also Inevitable).

• Ravioli Me Away: http://raviolimeaway.co.uk
• Good Job Records: http://www.goodjobrecords.com



My good pal Landon is convinced Tonstartssbandht is the best thing in music right now. Well, one of a VERY VERY FEW (maybe three?) BEST THINGS. I think what I find so impressive about their style is that complete blend of jam and practice and completely controlled mind-broken instrumental freak-out-to-breakdown swag they front seamlessly. And seeing them game live is even more of a treat, ‘cause it just proves how they DON’T fuck around. 12 strings on stage. A drums set that – even when left alone – looks like a tornado. And a presence that is both humble and emotional in performance.

Last year’s Russian Tour Tape 2013 with Dirty Beaches went HARD in the paint, and since then I’ve been hooked. But when I write “since then…” I mean the moment my battery died while parked in a single car spot, in the rain, and I had to drive my fiancee’s car across the lawn in order to jump it as “Wet Ass Mornin” blared across my block, competing with the sound of rain smacking everywhere, and my car starts, and it’s playing “Wet Ass Mornin” too. There-after, everything was beyond what I imagine peace being in my every-day life.

Tonstartssbandht released a double LP (that’s already sold out) entitled Overseas on Arbutus Records in May, but these tracks are detrimentally important for y’all to hear for the rest of your life, and luckily, they’re on Bandcamp currently for FREE, so PLEASE listen below and continue enjoying this wonderful Wednesday:

• Tonstartssbandht: https://tonstartssbandht.bandcamp.com
• Arbutus Records: http://arbutusrecords.com


CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we'll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.