Elisa Faires


Wordless vocals go undefeated in the ring. Why bother injecting music, abstract at its essence and best when left abstract, with cheap “moon-june-he said-she said” lyricism? Would Neil Young’s shopworn and lamb-like vocalizations be any less potent if he were to simply replace “take a look at my life” or “ain’t got no t-bone” with falsetto moans?

When it comes to words, or lack thereof, it’s Bas Sheva over Aaliyah; Edda dell’Orso over Eddie Money; Scatman John Larkin over John Cougar Mellencamp; Doo-wop over pop; The Blue Chips’ Rubber Biscuit over Limp Bizkit.

When it comes to words versus wordless, Elisa Faires knows on which side to bet. However, there will be no gambling or violent vocal sporting in Elisa Faire’s fabricated “Cathedral.” Her service is held in a dignified open field, with Faires holding the seat (an apple on the pulpit) before an audience of crickets and a handful of fumbled footsteps.

Using magic powers similar to those that enabled Mary Ford to sing with an ensemble of her selves and Les Paul to simultaneously play multiple guitars, Elisa creates a hallway of her interacting voices. Without wasting much time, she places us in her a cappella cosmos, where we are placated without protest, reflective without resistance. Having staged the listener in the desired state, she cross fades the looping voices with field recordings. We sit tight with the crickets and feet until, once again, the choir of one expands. The second batch of wordless vocal loops is delivered, this time, at a slower heart rate. The pace is befitting, unhurriedly aiding the meditation that the introduction rushed in.

• Elisa Faires: http://elisafaires.bandcamp.com

食品まつりa.k.a foodman

oiss EP

In a few months time, foodman has tackled performance art that teaches children to draw, has caused neon pulses to emit from your vehicle — heck, there’s even been a riveting mythological history written about the guy. Now, he’s released his SICK oiss EP, his second release on Paisley Park’s Бh○§† imprint. This guy’s on FIRE.

But for real, leave it to foodman to give us some beat-shit that is simultaneously FUNCTIONAL and ABSTRACT. I’m sitting here trying to figure out the ratio: is it 50% functional, 50% abstract? NO man, that track “yoro piku piku” is straight-up club-functional in the way it goes hard! But wait, shit, that track “house” is total “post-beat swag,” I mean it’s like __[insert reference here]__-level abstract. Okay, I’ll conclude the oiss EP is 100% FUNCTIONAL / 100% ABSTRACT, evening out to 200% REAL.

I guess that’s the virtue of Shokuhin Maturi a.k.a. foodman, there’s a little something for everyone here: the kids, the freaks, futuristic NASCAR drivers, comic book nerds, etc. Beat-heads are gonna love the addicting, classically jittery rhythms that introduce themselves loud-and-proud, “HEY <3 NICE TO MEET YU.” But seriously, just take in that jokey trumpet bouncing around in the aforementioned track “house,” and it’s clear that foodman’s mastering AND challenging all kinds of genres with each release.

The man’s on a roll, I mean, an especially tasty roll , seeing how he’s the “foodman” and all. KEEP IT COMING!

Scope his oiss EP here:

• 食品まつりa.k.a foodman: https://soundcloud.com/shokuhin-maturi
• Бh○§†: http://ghost045.bandcamp.com



Fuck you. I’m covering a RiFF RAFF affiliated track. Nobody actually knows who that dude in the red/black shirt is in relation to “HOW TO BE THE MAN” (OFFiCiAL TEXAS REMiX ViDEO). Maybe he just rolled up on ‘em and acted like he owned the place. And by place, I mean the abandoned market behind them that’s (maybe) a galleria of different drug manufacturing operations. Or, it’s just about to be torn down and hanging there right before is beyond Lil B #VERYRARE. The video is whack too, but I’m down for it as a head-rest screen banger. Haven’t heard about PAUL WALL in a LONNNNNNNG ASS minute either, but he probably realized this prior to being invited to participate in “HOW TO BE THE MAN” (OFFiCiAL TEXAS REMiX ViDEO), thinking to himself, “Next time I gotta KILL it!” ….he actually does too!

SLiM THUG’s part as the only other raci…. WHOA!!!! Damn it. God damn it, I just LOL’d so hard at RiFF RAFF’s BET tattoo that my asshole laughed harder and there’s shit just oozing out cracks and the noxious smell is seeping into my nostrils and nostrils of work neighbors and people are looking around as “HOW TO BE THE MAN” (OFFiCiAL TEXAS REMiX ViDEO) flares off very clearly from my headphones on my desk and people have noticed me sweating, but if I get up, I can’t EVER come back here, so in conclusion — as my seat starts to soak and my butt skin starts to wrinkle like your fingers do if you’re in the pool too long — FUCK RiFF RAFF!!!!

• RiFF RAFF: http://jodyhighroller.com
• SLiM THUG: http://www.bosshoggoutlawz.com
• PAUL WALL: http://paulwallbaby.com

Vehicle Blues

“Luke Song”

After releasing the excellent Letter Writer tape on Pretty All Right Records earlier this year, Lillerne Tapes founder and Vehicle Blues guitar whisperer Gabe Holocombe is right back to it with “Luke Song” from his upcoming 7-inch (and vinyl debut) on Lake Paradise Records. Steeped in those summer-break-paced, shoegaze strums and the familiar got-nowhere-to-be vocal wisps, the track at first seemed like a cover of the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese classic jingle “I’ve Got the Blues” (I thought the lyrics were “Mommy’s got the night off, Daddy’s running the show/ You want to keep me happy, here’s what you got to know/ I want the blues, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese/ The Vehicle Blues/ If Daddy wants to please me, he’s only got to cheese me/ I’ve got the blues”), but no: “Luke Song” is actually a Vehicle Blues original. I’s just misinterpreting the lyrics through all the haze. Sorry ya’ll. You know how it goes: once you’ve heard the lyrics your way, it’s always so difficult to unhear them, innit?

The “Luke Song” 7-inch is out June 10 on Chicago’s Lake Paradise Records. Pre-orders are open now and highly recommended, as only 200 of these gems were pressed. I’ve got the blues! Do you?

• Vehicle Blues: https://soundcloud.com/vehicleblues
• Lake Paradise Records: http://www.lakeparadiserecords.com
• Kraft Foods: http://www.kraftrecipes.com



In need of an impassioned kiss, but are lipless? If so, then boy do I have something to fill that lipless hole you call a mouth. Ahwlee — tender lover and seasoned beat vet — just got all plastic and metallic with his latest cassette on Paxico Records, and he can’t wait to play a little tonsil hockey with ya… you know, aurally. Oh, wait. I was thinking of orally…

Uh, anyway, you can still buy 1991 digitally (even if that dang tape sold out QUICK) on the Paxico Bandcamp, and while there, learn some trivia about the actual year 1991. Fun fact: 1991 was the year the dinosaurs became extinct. Who knew?

• Ahwlee: https://soundcloud.com/ahwlee
• Paxico Records: https://paxicorecords.com


CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we'll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.