1982-1992: V/A - Monster Ballads

I have friends who snicker when they catch me listening to Monster Ballads. Why? Because the late-night advertisements for it showcase the most audacious personalities this side of 1985 — because they lack the requisite level of self-awareness to pull off high irony? Fuck that. Monster Ballads is awesome. That should be the only argument you need. At least, that’s the only argument the artists featured on this compilation are prepared to offer.

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Hair metal is so shallow that it genuinely aspires to nothing more than kicking ass and getting laid. In that way, the genre is enigmatic; never do its musicians attempt to consider originality, authenticity, or any other muddying, meaningless concept. They just don’t care. Essentially, the whole genre boils down to how strong your tunes are, and nothing else matters.

Now, I’m sure we’re all familiar with this collection. Among “serious” music patrons, Monster Ballads is mostly a joke. One listens to hair metal ironically while drinking with friends and scarcely touches the stuff when it’s time to bring out the headphones. But when its sounds are actually taken earnestly, their affective qualities feel unlike those of any other genre. As a collection, Monster Ballads is melancholy in the grandest sense of the term — not only are the choruses independently sentimental, but their utter transparency further intensifies the bummer. Each progression is just plain miserable; the music may be founded exclusively through cliché, but its superficial ubiquity only allows the sound to impress upon a wider range of emotion. And the shit comes easy. What’s humorous is that plenty of contemporary musicians are attempting to thoughtfully realize this brand of downheartedness when, as it happens, bummer tunes are as thoughtless as hairspray and cigarettes.

DeLorean

There’s a lot of good music out there, and it’s not all being released this year. With DeLorean, we aim to rediscover overlooked artists and genres, to listen to music historically and contextually, to underscore the fluidity of music. While we will cover reissues here, our focus will be on music that’s not being pushed by a PR firm.

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