I am not a witch. I’m you.

There really aren’t enough songs about drunk ladybugs who oppose -tions (abortion, evolution, and masturbation) who love the Lord.

01. Leonard Cohen - “The Future” (The Future)
02. Donovan - “Season of the Witch” (sunshine superman)
03. The Animals - “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” (single)
04. The DiVinyls - “I touch myself” (Divinyls)
05. Danzig - “Her Black Wings” (Danzig II: Lucifuge)
06. Traditional - “Ladybug, ladybug” (nursery rhyme)
07. The Kinks - “Wicked Annabella” (The Kinks are the Village Green Preservation Society)
08. The Sex Pistols - “Bodies” (Nevermind the Bollocks, here are the sex Pistols)
08. Madonna - “Like a Virgin” (Like a Virgin)
09. Devo - “Jocko Homo” (Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!)
10. Billy Idol - “Dancing with myself” (Kiss me Deadly)
11. Sufjan Stevens - “Vito’s Ordination song” (Michigan)
12. Little Cindy - “Happy Birthday Jesus” (A John Waters Christmas)
13. Leona Lewis - “I’m You” (Spirit)

Nobody gets less laid than me

This mix starts off kinda bawdy, then turns soft, and finally ends with a sob. This is intended to mimic the emotional process of facing the reality that you may never, in fact, get laid again. Welcome to my hell, friend.

01. Grinderman “No Pussy Blues” (Grinderman)
02. Bloodhound Gang “Bad Touch” (Hooray for Boobies)
03. Liz Phair “Flower” Exile in Guyville
04. The Beatles “Why Don’t We Do it In the Road” (The Beatles)
05. Bo Diddley “Bo Diddley” (Bo Diddley)
06. Mirah “Engine Heart” (You Think Its like this but its really like this)
07. Al Green “Tired of Being Alone” (Al Green Gets Next to You)
08. Bright Eyes “If Winter Ends” (Letting Off the Happiness)
09. Jeff Buckley “Hallelujah” (Grace)

Mixtape to listen to while reading year-end lists


01. Future Islands - “Swept Inside” (In Evening Air)
02. Disappears - “Marigold” (Lux)
03. Dustin Wong - “Sister” (Infinite Love)
04. Here We Go Magic - “Vegetable or Native” (Pigeons)
05. Shugo Tokumaru - “Lahaha” (Port Entropy)
06. Magic Lantern - “Dark Cicadas” (Platoon)
07. Sun City Girls - “Ben’s Radio” (Funeral Mariachi)
08. The Books - “Group Autogenics II” (The Way Out)
09. Avocado Happy Hour - “Daytime Television” (Easy Listening Cassette)
10. Sun Araw - “The Stakeout” (On Patrol)
11. Women - “Locust Valley” (Public Strain)
12. Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti - “Reminiscences” (Before Today)

Portland, I love you, but you’re bringing me down

These pop songs were brought to you by Holly Dixon and the good people of Portland, OR

01. The Thermals - “Here’s Your Future” (The Body The Blood The Machine
02. Menomena - “TAOS” (Mines)
03. The Decemberists - “The Perfect Crime #2” (The Crane Wife)
04. Spoon - “The Underdog” (Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga)
05. The Shins - “Know Your Onion!” (Oh, Inverted World)
06. YACHT - “I Believe In You” (I Believe In You. Your Magic Is Real.)
07. Blitzen Trapper - “Wild Mountain Nation” (Wild Mountain Nation)
08. Starfucker - “Holly”
09. Cloudy October - “Lowerface” (The Aviator Is Dead EP)
10. The Kingsmen - “Louie Louie” (Louie Louie) [Because every mixtape of Portland deserves to have Louie Louie on it.]

She wants a macho guy, and I’m like 130 lbs and everyone thinks I’m gay

01. Black Fag - “Six Pack” (Black Fag)
02. Limp Wrist - “I Love Hardcore Boys, I Love Boys Hardcore” (The Official Limp Wrist Discography)
03. Gayrilla Biscuits - “Gay Edge Revenge” (Hung Queens Can Suck It EP
04. ASSACRE - “Gayer Than God” (Fantastic Illusions Worth Dying For)
05. Gay For Johnny Depp - “Shh, Put The Shiv To My Throat” (Manthology)
05. Vagina Boys - “Gay For You” (Vagina Boys)
06. Hunx & His Punx - “Good Kisser” (Gay Singles)

I’m falling out of love with him, and it’s stormy outside: COMFORT ME

01. Missy Higgins - “Where I Stood”
02. Sander Bohike - “The Weight of Us”
03. Mumford and Sons - “I Gave You All”
04. Damien Jurado - “Everything Trying”
05. The Tallest Man on Earth - “I Won’t Be Found”
06. Patrick Watson - “The Great Escape”
07. Rosie Thomas - “The One I Love”
08. Bon Iver - “Skinny Love”
09. Ray Lamontagne and the Pariah Dogs - “This Love is Over”
10. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova - “Say It To Me Now”
11. Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - “It Wasn’t the Same Somehow”

“And when you’re really ready to break out”

12. Lesley Gore - “You Don’t Own Me”

I Feel Empty Because I’m Apathetic About Life and I Just Want Love

You will find it! Watch Elizabethtown. Cry a little. Then go hunt down a beautiful new love. Because you are beautiful, too.

01. Ben Folds - “Song for the Dumped” (Forever and Ever Amen)
02. Tilly and the Wall - “Let it Rain” ( Wild Like Children)
03. The Weepies -“Nobody Knows Me At All” (Say I Am You)
04. Stars - “One More Night” (Set Yourself on Fire)
05. The Early November - “I Don’t Know How to Say This” (The Mother, the Mechanic, and the Path)
06. Jeff Buckley - “I Know It’s Over” (So Real: Songs from Jeff Buckley)
07. of Montreal - “Gallery Piece” (Skeletal Lamping)
08. She and Him - “Sentimental Heart” (Volume One)
09. Jenny Lewis - “Handle With Care” (Rabbit Fur Coat)
10. The Smiths - “Please Please Please Let me Get What I Want” (Sound of the Smiths)

An awesome queercore mix for the lonely queer kid I am

01. Le Tigre - “LT Tour Theme” (Feminist Sweepstakes)
02. Tribe 8 - “Butch In The Streets” (Fist City)
03. Pansy Division - “Anthem” (The Essential Pansy Division)
04. Limp Wrist - “Does Your Daddy Know?” (Complete Discography)
05. Final Exit - “Roles and Rules” (Umea)
06. Leftover Crack - “Gay Rude Boys Unite” (Shoot The Kids At School)
07. Julie Ruin - “I Wanna Know What Love Is” (Julie Ruin)
08. Team Dresch - “Musical Fanzine” (Captain My Captain)
09. Girlyman - “Young James Dean” (Little Star)

Songs to listen to while floating underwater

Oh man, being underwater is fun.

01. Radiohead - “No Surprises” (OK Computer)
02. Modest Mouse - “Sleepwalkin’” (Building Something Out Of Nothing)
03. My Bloody Valentine - “To Here Knows When (EP Version)” (Tremelo
04. Claude Debussy - “Clair de Lune” (Children’s Corner)
05. Brian Eno - “The Big Ship” (Another Green World)
06. Elvis Costello - “London’s Brilliant Parade” (Brutal Youth)
07. Jacques Brel - “Quand On N’a Que L’Amour” (I Am the Shadow of the Songs)
08. The Minutemen - “History Lesson-Part II” (Double Nickels on the Dime)
09. Richard Thompson - “Love is Bad for Business” (Small Town Romance)
10. Electric Light Orchestra - “Telephone Line” (The Essential Electric Light Orchestra)
11. Donald Fagan - “I.G.Y.” (The Nightfly)
12. Through the Roof n’ Underground - Gogol Bordello (Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony)

Strippers like good songs, too

I tried to include various musical styles here, and I tried to stay away from really jazzy or really conspicuous stuff that personally makes me want to fall asleep rather than take off my clothes. So, strip away and put this mixtape to good use, people!

01. Tom Waits - “You can’t unring a bell” (One from the heart OST)
02. Norah Jones - “I’ve got to see you again” (Come away with me)
03. Leonard Cohen - “I’m your man” (I’m your man)
04. Portishead - “Glory box” (Dummy)
05. Cat Power & Karen Elson - “I love you… me either” (Monsieur Gainsbourg revisited)
06. Black Heart Procession - “A cry for love” (Amore del tropico)
07. Charlotte Gainsbourg - “Master’s hands” (IRM)
08. Emiliana Torrini - “Gun” (Me and Armini)
09. Massive Attack - “Inertia creeps” (Mezzanine)
10. Kings of Leon - “Closer” (Only by the night)
11. Led Zeppelin - “Since I’ve been loving you” (III)
12. White Stripes - “Ball and biscuit” (Elephant)
13. London After Midnight - “Kiss” (Psycho Magnet)
14. Nine Inch Nails - “Closer” (The downward spiral)

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