I am the Ultimate Cosmic Joke. Pathetic songs for the Pathetic.

My ex is now my manager. Songs that don’t make me feel like shit everytime I go to work.

01. Ben Folds Five - “Song for the Dumped” (Whatever and Ever Amen)
02. R.E.M. - “Laughing” (Murmur)
03. The Walkmen - “The Rat” (Bows + Arrows)
04. Belle & Sebastian - “Another Sunny Day” (The Life Pursuit)
05. Andrew Bird - “Take Courage” (Bonus track from Noble Beast)
06. The Avalanches - “Since I Left You” (Since I Left You)
07. Wilco - “California Stars” (Mermaid Avenue)
08. Bran Van 3000 - “Love Cliché” (Discosis)
09. The Bouncing Souls - “Manthem” (How I Spent My Summer Vacation)
10. The Clean - “Anything Could Happen” (Boodle Boodle Boodle EP)
11. Coconut Records “Nighttiming” (Nighttiming)
12. Eels - “Last Stop: This Town” (Electro-Shock Blues)
13. Sufjan Stevens - “Too Much” (The Age of Adz)
14. Jens Lekman - “Black Cab” (Oh, You’re So Silent Jens)
15. Stiff Little Fingers - “Alternative Ulster” (Inflammable Material”

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” - The Mad Hatter

“Curiouser and curiouser” - Alice

01. Spiderbait - “Glokenpop” (Glokenpop)
02. Rob Zombie - “Dragula (Hot Rod Herman remix)” (The Matrix Soundtrack)
03. Basement Jaxx - “Where’s Your Head At?” (Rooty)
04. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - “Ain’t No Easy Way” (Howl)
05. Gnarls Barkley - “Crazy” (St. Elsewhere)
06. Sigúr Rós - “Gobbeldigook” (Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust)
07. Ladyhawke - “Delirium” (Ladyhawke)
08. Art Vs. Science - “Magic Fountain” (The Experiment)
09. The Beatles - “I Am The Walrus” (Magical Mystery Tour)
10. Kaiser Chiefs - “Good Days and Bad Days” (Off With Their Heads”

Zombie Apocalypse

01. Manchester Orchestra - “Wolves At Night” (I’m Like a Virgin Losing a Child)
02. Midtown - “God Is Dead” (Forget What You Know)
03. mewithoutYou - “Wolf Am I! (And Shadow)” (Brother, Sister)
04. The Distillers - “Drain the Blood” (Coral Fang)
05. Finch - “What It Is To Burn” (Welcome to the Family)
06. The Bronx - “Young Bloods” (The Bronx-III)
07. The Pretty Reckless - “Make Me Wanna Die” (The Pretty Reckless)
08. The Pixies - “Monkey Gone To Heaven” (Doolittle)
09. Cloud Cult - “May Your Hearts Stay Strong” (Feel Good Ghosts)
10. Empires - “Under the Bright Lights” (Howl)
11. Jimmy Eat World - “Goodbye Sky Harbour” (Clarity)

Songs to get high to even though I don’t do drugs

01. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - “Burning the Midnight Lamp” (Electric Ladyland)
02. Woods - “Gypsy Hand” (Songs of Shame)
03. Alain Boissanger - “Crazy Girl, Crazy World” (Wizzz! Volume 2)
04. Van Dyke Parks - “Palm Desert” (Song Cycle)
05. Tame Impala - “I Don’t Really Mind” (Innerspeaker)
06. Animal Collective - “April and the Phantom” (Spirt They’ve Gone, Spirit They’ve Vanished)
07. The Beatles - “Strawberry Fields Forever” (Magical Mystery Tour)
08. The Avalanches - “Summer Crane” (Since I Left You)
09. Pill Wonder - “Wishing Whale” (Jungle/Surf)
10. Julian Lynch - “Seed” (Orange You Glad)

Passionate sex with a robot in a mega-mall elevator circa 1995

01. Ace of Base - “The Sign”
02. Isley Brothers - “Live It Up (Pt. 1)”
03. Outfield - “Your Love”
04. Boys II Men - “I’ll Make Love to You”
05. Brand New Heavies - “Never Stop”
06. Rolling Stones - “Miss You”
07. Daryl Hall and John Oates - “Kiss On My List”
08. All-4-One - “I Swear”
09. Fleetwood Mac - “Don’t Stop”
10. Seal - “Kiss from a Rose”

The Most Random Fucking Mixtape You Have Ever Seen

Challenge accepted.

01. The Killers - “Smile Like You Mean It” (Hot Fuss)
02. Psychic Paramount - “N6” (II)
03. Led Zeppelin - “D’yer Mak’er” (Houses of the Holy)
04. Antony and the Johnsons - “You Are My Sister” (I Am A Bird Now)
05. Queens of the Stone Age - “I Never Came” (Lullabies to Paralyze)
06. Daft Punk - “Around the World, Harder Better Faster Stronger” (Alive 2007)
07. Deerhunter - “Cover Me (Slowly)” (Microcastle)
08. Radiohead - “Polyethylene (Parts 1 & 2)” - (OK Computer (Deluxe Edition))
09. The xx - “Heart Skipped a Beat” (xx)
10. The Doors - “Love Hides” (Bright Midnight: Live in America)
11. Aglaia - “Mysterious Fish Named Kun” (3 Organic Experiences)
12. Sleater-Kinney - “Let’s Call It Love” (The Woods)
13. Robert Johnson - “Come on in My Kitchen” (King of the Delta Blues Singers)
14. Burial - “In McDonalds” (Untrue)
15. Andrew Bird - “Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left” (Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs)

Songs that teach you how to live

“Turn the light out, say goodnight/ No thinking for a little while/ Let’s not try to figure out everything at once”
– The National, “Fake Empire”

01. The Hold Steady - “Positive Jam” (Almost Killed Me)
02. The National - “Fake Empire” (Boxer)
03. Japandroids - “Younger Us” (Celebration Rock)
04. R.E.M. - “Finest Worksong” (Document)
05. Bob Dylan - “My Back Pages” (Another Side of Bob Dylan)
06. Wilco - “Nothing’severgonnastandinmyway(again)” (Summerteeth)
07. Japandroids - “Adrenaline Nightshift” (Celebration Rock)
08. LCD Soundsystem - “Yeah (Crass Version)” (LCD Soundsystem)

“What have they done to the earth/ What have they done to our fair sister?”
– The Doors, “When the Music’s Over”

01. M83 - “Midnight City” (Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming)
02. Radiohead - “Subterranean Homesick Alien” (OK Computer)
03. TV on the Radio - “Let the Devil In” (Return to Cookie Mountain)
04. Les Savy Fav - “What Would Wolves Do” (Let’s Stay Friends)
05. Arcade Fire - “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)” (The Suburbs)

“Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together”
On The Road, Jack Kerouac

01. The Hold Steady - “Stuck Between Stations” (Boys and Girls in America)
02. The National - “Apartment Story” (Boxer)
03. Tom Waits - “House Where Nobody Lives” (Mule Variations)
04. The Dismemberment Plan - “A Life of Possibilities” (Emergency & I)
05. Radiohead - “House of Cards” (In Rainbows)
06. Neil Young - “On the Beach” (On the Beach)

“Isn’t death the boundary we need? Doesn’t it give a precious texture to life, a sense of definition? You have to ask yourself whether anything you do in this life would have beauty and meaning without the knowledge you carry of a final line, a border or limit.”
White Noise, Don Delillo

01. Wilco - “Company in My Back” (A Ghost Is Born)
02. The Wrens - “This Boy is Exhausted” (The Meadowlands)
03. Radiohead - “No Surprises” (OK Computer)
04. The Beta Band - “Dry the Rain” (The Three EP’s)
05. The Flaming Lips - “Feeling Yourself Disintegrate” (The Soft Bulletin)

Soundtrack to a fictional life of a movie con artist anti-hero (and even if he gets caught, it’s going to be ok!)

I’m pretty sure he changes his mind and gets away in the end.

01. The Replacements - “Black Diamond” (Let It Be)
02. Indian Wells - “Deuce” (Night Drops)
03. Andrew Hill - “Venture Inward” (Grass Roots)
05. Amon Tobin - “Get Your Snack On” (Supermodified)
06. Iggy Pop - “The Passenger” (Lust For Life)
07. Goat - “Disco Fever” (World Music)
08. Jackson and his Computer Band - “Rock On” (Smash)
09. Actress - “Glint” (R.I.P.)
10. 23 Skiddoo - “IY” (Seven Songs)
11. Cymande - “Zion I” (Cymande)

I’m not 100% sure how you make me feel.

I never know how I feel about anybody, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

01. The Supremes - “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”
02. Wilco - “I’m Always in Love” (Summerteeth)
03. Florence and the Machine - “I’m Not Calling You a Liar” (Lungs)
04. Ida Maria - “Oh My God” (Fortress Round My Heart)
05. Jens Lekman - “Kanske Är Jag Kär I Dig” (Night Falls over Kortedala)
06. Liz Phair - “Flower” (Exile in Guyville)
07. Nana Grizol - “Cynicism” (Ruth)
08. Pavement - “…And Carrot Rope” (Terror Twilight)
09. The Velvet Underground - “I’m Waiting for the Man” (The Velvet Underground & Nico)
10. The Radio Dept. - “You Stopped Making Sense” (Clinging to a Scheme)

Here's the deal: Send us a thought, phrase, question, quotation, or whatever else, and if one of our mix tape robots fancies your suggestion, the crazy set of circuits might just make a mix tape out of it — well, at least a tracklisting for a mix tape out of it. Request a mix here, and help us compile mixes here.