I just agreed to drive home for Christmas with my roommate who I hate. I can’t stand her after 5 minutes; let’s see what happens after 13 hours.

01. Fuck Buttons - “Oylmpians”
02. Philip Glass - “Opening”
03. Broken Social Scene - “Pacific Theme”
04. The Avalanches - “Frontier Psychiatrist”
05. The Arcade Fire - “(Antichrist Television Blues)”
06. Panda Bear - “Good Girl / Carrots”
07. Animal Collective - “Banshee Beat”
08. The Microphones - “Where Lies My Tarp?”
09. Modest Mouse - “Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset”
10. Wolf Parade - “I’ll Believe in Anything”
11. David Bowie - “Oh! You Pretty Thing”

Songs for someone who keeps hearing about Chillwave but hasn’t actually heard anything beyond Panda Bear or Ariel Pink

By all means obvious, but this should get you started. The problem with chillwave is that it’s an ill-defined term that’s been thrown around a lot over the last few years. Party on.

01. Small Black - “Bad Lover” (Small Black EP)
02. Ducktails - “Mirror Image” (Mirror Image)
03. Washed Out - “New Theory” (Life Of Leisure)
04. Neon Indian - “Should Have Taken Acid With You” (Psychic Chasms)
05. Blackbird Blackbird - “Hawaii” (Summer Heart)
06. Lotus Plaza - “Sunday Night” (The Floodlight Collective)
07. Memoryhouse - “To The Lighthouse” (The Years)
08. Blind Man’s Colour - “Heavy Cloud Hustle” (Season Dreaming)
09. Toro Y Moi - “Leave Everywhere” (Leave Everywhere)

All I want to do is smoke a blunt, listen to dubstep, and have sex with you

SMOKING SONGS:
01. Flux Pavilion - “Excuse Me”
02. Rusko - “Red Eye”
03. Big BEAR - “Jacked Up”
04. Soft Wasp vs. Hostile Hams - “Sunshine In Dub”
05. Brown and Gammon - “Ganja Smuggling”

SEXING SONGS:
06. Mr. Floyd - “The S.S.”
07. Justbeatz AKA The Headbangers - “Till You Die”
08. Peaches - “Fuck The Pain Away (Mr. Floyd Remix)”
09. Dextron - “Suck My Wobble”
10. Blast - “Pornstep (Bong VIP)”
11. Borgore - “Ice Cream (Instrumental Mix)”

Jazz that doesn’t sound like the theme song to Everybody Loves Raymond

Not even scratching the surface here, there’s a hell of a lot of jazz you could get into.

01. Miles Davis - “Rated X” (Get Up With It)
02. The Lounge Lizards - “Do The Wrong Thing” (The Lounge Lizards)
03. Tom Waits - “Midtown” (Rain Dogs) (not a jazz album, obviously, but great linking track)
04. John Zorn - “Rejoicing” (Spy Vs Spy : The Music Of Ornette Coleman)
05. Ornette Coleman - “Lonely Woman” (The Shape of Jazz To Come)
06. Charles Mingus - “Freedom” (Mingus Mingus Mingus Mingus)
07. Derek Bailey - “Stella by Starlight” (Ballads)
08. Nina Simone - “Another Spring” (Nina Simone and Piano)
09. Bohren and Der Club of Gore - “Crimson Ways” (Black Earth)
10. Jimmy Scott - “Sycamore Trees” (Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me OST)
11. Anthony Braxton - “Naima” (Naima)
12. Billie Holiday - “He’s Funny That Way” (The Lady Sings)

Songs for someone obsessed with Animal Collective who wants to feed his/her obsession without actually listening to AnCo, P-Bear, or Avey

01. Rene Hell - “C.G. Mask” (Porcelain Opera)
02. Pop Winds - “Owl Eyes” (The Turquoise)
03. Akron/Family - “Meek Warrior” (Meek Warrior)
04. Braids - “She Brave Soul” (Set Pieces)
05. Juana Molina - “Vive Solo” (Un Dia)
06. City Center - “Bleed Blood” (City Center)
07. Atlas Sound - “Criminals” (Logos)
08. Liars - “Hold You, Drum” (Drum’s Not Dead)
09. Blue Hawaii - “Cect” (Blue Hawaii/Braids split)
10. High Places - “Gold Coin” (High Places)
11. Tonstartssbandht - “Andy Summers” (An When)
12. Gang Gang Dance - “Afoot” (Saint Dymphna)
13. Grimes - “Zoal, Face Dancer” (Geidi Primes)
14. No Age - “Things I Did When I Was Dead” (Nouns)
15. Volcano Choir - “And Gather” (Unmap)
16. Koen Holtkamp - “Night Swimmer” (Field Rituals)
17. Julian Lynch - “Winterer One” (Orange You Glad)
18. Es - “Ennen oli huonommin” (Kesämaan lapset)

Music to Write Home About

01. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Underwater (You And Me) (Some Loud Thunder)
02. Sufjan Stevens - Casimir Pulaski Day (Come on Feel The Illinoise!)
03. The Clash - Death Or Glory (London Calling)
04. Deer Tick - These Old Shoes (War Elephant)
05. Grandaddy - A.M. 180 (Under The Western Freeway)
06. Bright Eyes - You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. (Lifted or The Story Is In The Soil, Keep Your Ear To The Ground)
07. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home (From Below)
08. Ezra Furman & The Harpoons - Hotel Room In Casablanca (Banging Down The Doors)
9. Pavement - Here (Slanted & Enchanted)
10. Bob Dylan - Girl From The North Country (Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan)

Songs You Cannot Possibly Have Sex To

01. Autechre - “Parallel Suns” (Quaristice)
02. Khanate - “Clean My Heart” (Clean Hands Go Foul)
03. The Vaselines - “Sex Sux (Amen)” (Enter the Vaselines)
04. The Locust - “Practiced Hatred” (Plague Soundscapes)
05. Lightning Bolt - “Dead Cowboy” (Hypermagic Mountain)
06. Test Icicles - “Snowball” (For Screening Purposes Only)
07. The Flaming Lips - “Shine On Sweet Jesus” (In A Priest Driven Ambulance)
08. Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention - “Mom & Dad” (Lumpy Gravy)
09. Smashing Pumpkins - “Tales of Scorched Earth” (Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness)
10. The Dismemberment Plan - “13th and Euclid” (!)
11. Mission of Burma - “Max Ernst” (Signals, Calls, and Marches)
12. Nadja - “Bug Golem” (Truth Becomes Death)

Songs for my Dangling Modifier

01. Beat Happening - “Indian Summer” (Jamboree)
02. Bob Dylan - “I Want You” (Blonde on Blonde)
03. Daniel Johnston - “Ghost of Our Love” (Continued Story)
04. Hank Williams - “Ramblin Man” (40 Greatest Hits)
05. Hush Arbors - “Follow Closely (Hush Arbors)
06. The Kinks - “Nothin In This World” (The Kinks)
07. Kurt Vile - “Blackberry Song” (Childish Prodigy)
08. Lou Reed - “Street Hassle” (Street Hassle)
09. Neil Young - “On The Way Home” (Live At Massey Hall)
10. The Raincoats- “The Void” (The Raincoats)
11. The Rolling Stones - “Play With Fire” (High Tides and Green Grass)
12. Spacemen 3- “Ode To Street Hassle” (Perfect prescription)
13. Television - “Guiding Light” (Marquee Moon)
14. The Velvet Underground - “Some Kinda Love” (The Velvet Underground)
15. Wooden Wand - “James and The Quiet” (James and the Quiet)
16. Nick Drake - “Horn” (Pink Moon)

Head-Nodding Music

My head was nodding the entire time I made this….
now I have whiplash…
just for you

01. Peaches - “Boys Wanna Be Her” (Impeach My Bush)
02. Bear Hands - “What A Drag” (What A Drag / Can’t Stick Em 7”)
03. The Big Pink - “Dominos” (A Brief History of Love)
04. Suckers - “Black Sheep” (Wild Smile)
05. Miike Snow - “Song For No One” (Miike Snow)
06. Band Of Skulls - “I Know What I Am” (Baby Darling Doll Face Honey)
07. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - “Gold Lion” (Show Your Bones)
08. Matt And Kim - “Cameras” (Sidewalks)
09. Interpol - “Evil” (Antics)
10. The Darkness - “I Believe In A Ting Called Love” (Permission To Land)

My ex attempted suicide.

Sorry to hear it. So, this list features 15 tracks of mood swings from song to song where appropriate, but it’s all got roughly the same move. When these things happen, there’s nothing that a patronizing internet stranger can do but make a wildly inappropriate but wholly appropriate mix.

01. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - “East Hastings”
02. The Cure - “Fear Of Ghosts” (Join The Dots)
03. Morrissey - “Angel, Angel We Go Down Together” (Viva Hate)
04. Patrick Wolf - “Paris” (Lycanthropy)
05. Crystal Castles - “Doedeer” (Crystal Castles)
06. The Sick Anchors - “Whole Again”
07. Rowland S Howard - “Ave Maria” (Pop Crimes)
08. New Order - “Ceremony”
09. Gary Numan - “The Seed Of A Lie” (Sacrifice) [seriously, great track, highly undervalued album]
10. These New Puritans - “Hologram” (Hidden)
11. Tom Waits - “Hold On” (Mule Variations)
12. The Misunderstood - “I Can Take You To The Sun”
13. The Bordellos - “Barret” (Meet The Bordellos)
14. Crystal Castles and Robert Smith - “Not In Love” [a blog near you]
15. Julian Cope - “Las Vegas Basement” (Peggy Suicide)

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