She wants a macho guy, and I’m like 130 lbs and everyone thinks I’m gay

01. Black Fag - “Six Pack” (Black Fag)
02. Limp Wrist - “I Love Hardcore Boys, I Love Boys Hardcore” (The Official Limp Wrist Discography)
03. Gayrilla Biscuits - “Gay Edge Revenge” (Hung Queens Can Suck It EP
04. ASSACRE - “Gayer Than God” (Fantastic Illusions Worth Dying For)
05. Gay For Johnny Depp - “Shh, Put The Shiv To My Throat” (Manthology)
05. Vagina Boys - “Gay For You” (Vagina Boys)
06. Hunx & His Punx - “Good Kisser” (Gay Singles)

Songs for driving home in the middle of the night

When I’m on a long night drive home, I’m worried about three things: staying awake, staying engaged, and maintaining the mood. A well-sequenced series of dark, continually moving slow-burners succeeds on all of these fronts.

01. Mogwai - Friend of the Night [Mr. Beast]
02. Massive Attack (feat. Terry Callier) - Live With Me [Collected]
03. Oneohtrix Point Never - Zones Without People [Zones Without People]
04. Boris (feat. Michio Kurihara) - Rainbow
05. Anathema - Closer [A Natural Disaster]
06. The Knife - Silent Shout [Silent Shout]
07. Portishead - Roads [Dummy]
08. Earth - Engine of Ruin [The Bees Made Honey in the Lion’s Skull]
09. Interpol - Leif Erikson [Turn on the Bright Lights]
10. Café Tacuba - Encantamiento Inútil [Cuatro Caminos]
11. Gilberto Gil - Can’t Find My Way Home [Gilberto Gil [Nega]

I’m falling out of love with him, and it’s stormy outside: COMFORT ME

01. Missy Higgins - “Where I Stood”
02. Sander Bohike - “The Weight of Us”
03. Mumford and Sons - “I Gave You All”
04. Damien Jurado - “Everything Trying”
05. The Tallest Man on Earth - “I Won’t Be Found”
06. Patrick Watson - “The Great Escape”
07. Rosie Thomas - “The One I Love”
08. Bon Iver - “Skinny Love”
09. Ray Lamontagne and the Pariah Dogs - “This Love is Over”
10. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova - “Say It To Me Now”
11. Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - “It Wasn’t the Same Somehow”

“And when you’re really ready to break out”

12. Lesley Gore - “You Don’t Own Me”

I Feel Empty Because I’m Apathetic About Life and I Just Want Love

You will find it! Watch Elizabethtown. Cry a little. Then go hunt down a beautiful new love. Because you are beautiful, too.

01. Ben Folds - “Song for the Dumped” (Forever and Ever Amen)
02. Tilly and the Wall - “Let it Rain” ( Wild Like Children)
03. The Weepies -“Nobody Knows Me At All” (Say I Am You)
04. Stars - “One More Night” (Set Yourself on Fire)
05. The Early November - “I Don’t Know How to Say This” (The Mother, the Mechanic, and the Path)
06. Jeff Buckley - “I Know It’s Over” (So Real: Songs from Jeff Buckley)
07. of Montreal - “Gallery Piece” (Skeletal Lamping)
08. She and Him - “Sentimental Heart” (Volume One)
09. Jenny Lewis - “Handle With Care” (Rabbit Fur Coat)
10. The Smiths - “Please Please Please Let me Get What I Want” (Sound of the Smiths)

Anthems for Stalkers

01. Noah and the Whale - “Second Lover”
02. Airborne Toxic Event - “Sometime Around Midnight”
03. Death Cab for Cutie - “I Will Posses Your Heart”
04. Arctic Monkeys - “Cornerstone”
05. Kelley Stolz - “Prank Calls”
06. Mystery Jets - “Two Doors Down”
07. Sufjan Stevens - “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”
08. Vampire Weekend - “Campus”
09. Billie Holiday - “I’ll Be Seeing You”

An awesome queercore mix for the lonely queer kid I am

01. Le Tigre - “LT Tour Theme” (Feminist Sweepstakes)
02. Tribe 8 - “Butch In The Streets” (Fist City)
03. Pansy Division - “Anthem” (The Essential Pansy Division)
04. Limp Wrist - “Does Your Daddy Know?” (Complete Discography)
05. Final Exit - “Roles and Rules” (Umea)
06. Leftover Crack - “Gay Rude Boys Unite” (Shoot The Kids At School)
07. Julie Ruin - “I Wanna Know What Love Is” (Julie Ruin)
08. Team Dresch - “Musical Fanzine” (Captain My Captain)
09. Girlyman - “Young James Dean” (Little Star)

Songs to listen to while floating underwater

Oh man, being underwater is fun.

01. Radiohead - “No Surprises” (OK Computer)
02. Modest Mouse - “Sleepwalkin’” (Building Something Out Of Nothing)
03. My Bloody Valentine - “To Here Knows When (EP Version)” (Tremelo
04. Claude Debussy - “Clair de Lune” (Children’s Corner)
05. Brian Eno - “The Big Ship” (Another Green World)
06. Elvis Costello - “London’s Brilliant Parade” (Brutal Youth)
07. Jacques Brel - “Quand On N’a Que L’Amour” (I Am the Shadow of the Songs)
08. The Minutemen - “History Lesson-Part II” (Double Nickels on the Dime)
09. Richard Thompson - “Love is Bad for Business” (Small Town Romance)
10. Electric Light Orchestra - “Telephone Line” (The Essential Electric Light Orchestra)
11. Donald Fagan - “I.G.Y.” (The Nightfly)
12. Through the Roof n’ Underground - Gogol Bordello (Multi Kontra Culti vs. Irony)

Strippers like good songs, too

I tried to include various musical styles here, and I tried to stay away from really jazzy or really conspicuous stuff that personally makes me want to fall asleep rather than take off my clothes. So, strip away and put this mixtape to good use, people!

01. Tom Waits - “You can’t unring a bell” (One from the heart OST)
02. Norah Jones - “I’ve got to see you again” (Come away with me)
03. Leonard Cohen - “I’m your man” (I’m your man)
04. Portishead - “Glory box” (Dummy)
05. Cat Power & Karen Elson - “I love you… me either” (Monsieur Gainsbourg revisited)
06. Black Heart Procession - “A cry for love” (Amore del tropico)
07. Charlotte Gainsbourg - “Master’s hands” (IRM)
08. Emiliana Torrini - “Gun” (Me and Armini)
09. Massive Attack - “Inertia creeps” (Mezzanine)
10. Kings of Leon - “Closer” (Only by the night)
11. Led Zeppelin - “Since I’ve been loving you” (III)
12. White Stripes - “Ball and biscuit” (Elephant)
13. London After Midnight - “Kiss” (Psycho Magnet)
14. Nine Inch Nails - “Closer” (The downward spiral)

I really liked this song, but I hate you for so many things; you ruined it for me. You ruiner

01. Cee-Lo Green - “Fuck You” (The Lady Killer)
02. Oasis - “Wonderwall” ((What’s The Story?) Morning Glory)
03. Any song by Eminem. Seriously.
04. MGMT - “Time To Pretend” (Oracular Spectacular)
05. Bruce Springsteen - “Born in the USA” (Born in the USA)
06. Sufjan Stevens - “Chicago” (Illinoise)
07. Any song by Sublime
08. Any song by U2. Only the good songs. None of this “Atomic Bomb” bullshit; they were ruined to begin with.
09. St. Vincent - “The Strangers” (Actor) Fuck you, Kid Cudi.
10. Any song by Kanye West.
11. Any of the songs on Blue Album and Pinkerton by Weezer. Fuck you pretentious hipster teens gettin’ all up in my Weezer.
12. Rage Against the Machine - “Killing in the Name” (Rage Against the Machine) All you XTREME douchebags get away from my Rage Against the Machine.

Songs that have the fidelity of Walkie-Talkies

All tracks re-encoded at 96kbps (if not already below that).

01. Be Your Own Per - “Fuuuuuun” (Be Your Own Pet)
02. Best Coast - “Sun Was High (So Was I)” (Art Fag 7”)
03. Akron/Family - “I’ll Be On The Water” (Akron/Family)
04. Pedro The Lion - “Options” (Control)
05. Casiotone For The Painfully Alone - “White On White” (Advance Base Battery Life)
06. Guided by Voices - “Echos Myron” (Bee Thousand)
07. Neutral Milk Hotel - “You’ve Passed” (On Avery Island)
08. Pavement - “Best Friend’s Arm” (Wowee Zowee)
09. Silver Jews - “Trains Across the Sea” (Starlite Walker)
10. Times New Viking - “Come Together” (Rip It Off)
11. Jandek - “Strange Phenomenon” (Living In A Moon So Blue)
12. Titus Andronicus - “Joset of Nazareth’s Blues” (The Airing of Grievances)
13. Bell Orchestre - “Recording A Tape… (Typewriter Duet)” (Recording A Tape The Colour Of The Light)
14. Damien Jurado - “With Lightning In Your Hands” (Saint Bartlett)
15. Les Savy Fav - “Who Rocks the Party” (The Cat And The Cobra)
16. Menomena - “E. is Stable” (I am the Fun Blame Monster)
17. The Mountain Goats - “Going To Norwalk” (Hot Garden Stomp)
18. Palace Brothers - “No More Workhorse Blues” (Days in the Wake)
19. Crystal Stilts - “The Sinking” (Alight of Night)
20. Grandaddy - “Collective Dreamwish of Upperclass Elegance” (Under the Western Freeway)
21. Gil Scott-Heron - “New York Is Killing Me” (I’m New Here)
22. The Suffocation Keep - “Saturday At Nine” (John Hughes Was Never So Wrong)
23. Cocorosie - “Ohio” (The Believer June 2005 Music Issue)

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