Achtung! Bono discharged from Munich hospital following surgery; U2 North American dates postponed

Achtung! Bono discharged from Munich hospital following surgery; U2 North American dates postponed http://www.tinymixtapes.com/sites/default/files/news-10-05-bono.jpg

Despite what My Name is Earl has led us all to believe, the phrase “do good things, and good things happen” is apparently a pretty unscientific hypothesis. Case in point: U2’s Bono (as opposed to all those other Bonos you read about) was discharged yesterday from Ludwig Maximilians-University (LMU) Hospital in Munich where he underwent emergency back surgery on Friday. In order to fully recover, he is under doctor’s orders to start an eight-week recuperation and rehabilitation program.

Unfortunately for everyone-everywhere-ever, U2 can’t exactly tour “with or without” him, so this will kinda sorta necessitate the postponement of 16 shows on the U2 360° Tour — from Salt Lake City on June 3, through to New Jersey’s Meadowlands Stadium on July 19. To say the least, this is kind of a summer bummer for the throngs of Americans who were counting on the intensive therapy that only comes from singing “One” out-loud with thousands of total strangers in a decidedly 1990s-style outdoor arena. But fortunately for everyone-everywhere-ever, St. Bono’s karma is so through-the-roof at this point that a complete recovery is a virtual certainty and Live Nation has confirmed that all of the dates will be rescheduled for 2011.

“Bono suffered severe compression of the sciatic nerve,” said Bono’s doctor in nerdy doctor-speak. “On review of his MRI scan, I realized there was a serious tear in the ligament and a herniated disc, and that conservative treatment would not suffice. I recommended Bono have emergency spine surgery with Professor Tonn at Munich’s LMU University Hospital on Friday.” Professor Tonn also added, “Bono was referred to me by Dr. Muller Wohlfahrt late last week with a sudden onset disease. He was already in severe pain with partial paralysis in the lower leg. The ligament surrounding the disc had an 8mm tear and during surgery we discovered fragments of the disc had traveled into the spinal canal. This surgery was the only course of treatment for full recovery and to avoid further paralysis. Bono is now much better, with complete recovery of his motor deficit. The prognosis is excellent, but to obtain a sustainable result, he must now enter a period of rehabilitation.” Oh, the perils of rock!

U2’s manager, Paul McGuinness, was with Bono at the Hospital in Munich. “Our biggest and, I believe, best tour has been interrupted, and we’re all devastated,” McGuinness said. “For a performer who lives to be on stage, this is more than a blow. He feels robbed of the chance to do what he does best and feels like he has badly let down the band and their audience, which is of course nonsense. His concerns about more than a million ticket buyers whose plans have been turned upside down [are concerns] we all share, but the most important thing right now is that Bono make a full recovery.”

Additional details on rescheduled dates will follow shortly and fans are encouraged to hold on to their tickets. Fans and ticket holders can visit U2’s website for ongoing tour updates and Bono recovery news. Is anyone else out there wondering if he’ll wear sunglasses in bed?

Postponed dates:

06.03.10 - Salt Lake City, UT - Rice Eccles Stadium
06.06.10 - Anaheim, CA - Angel Stadium
06.07.10 - Anaheim, CA - Angel Stadium
06.12.10 - Denver, CO - Invesco Field
06.16.10 - Oakland, CA - Oakland Coliseum
06.20.10 - Seattle, WA - Qwest Field
06.23.10 - Edmonton, Alberta - Commonwealth Stadium
06.25.10 - Pilton, England - Glastonbury
06.27.10 - Minneapolis, MN - TCF Bank Stadium
06.30.10 - East Lansing, MI - Spartan Stadium
07.03.10 - Toronto, Ontario - Rogers Centre
07.06.10 - Chicago, IL - Soldier Field
07.09.10 - Miami, FL - Sun Life Stadium
07.12.10 - Philadelphia, PA - Lincoln Financial Field
07.16.10 - Montreal, Quebec - Montreal Hippodrome
07.17.10 - Montreal, Quebec - Montreal Hippodrome
07.19.10 - New York, NY - New Meadowlands Stadium

• U2: http://www.u2.com
• Live Nation: http://www.livenation.com
• U2 360 Tour Twitter page: http://twitter.com/U2_360Tour

Joanna Newsom accidentally tours western US after missing that left turn at Albuquerque

On a mission to prove that she’s just as “chillwave” in 2010 as she was “freak-folk” back in 2005, heady harpstress Joanna Newsom is packing up her best guess at a sexy bathing suit and Victorian Era hope chest full of SPF 8,000,000 sunblock and making tracks for the beach this summer.

Newsom will tour the West Coast of the United States on the heels of her recent, blissed-out, hypnogogic, glo-fi, hype-dub, cock-balls masterpiece, Astro Coast… oh wait, I mean, Have One On Me (TMT Review)?? Uh oh. Say, I think someone got their wires crossed down at the Too Cool For School Booking Agency. But hey, nothing speaks to the laid-back, transient nature of an all-American fun-in-the-sun beach party like a triple album full of modal folk song-suites, right?

Joanna Newsom “Weed Demon” Tour:

07.29.10 - San Diego, CA - San Diego Woman’s Club
07.30.10 - Santa Barbara, CA - Lobero Theatre
07.31.10 - Los Angeles, CA - Orpheum Theatre
08.02.10 - Oakland, CA - Fox Theater
08.04.10 - Seattle, WA - Moore Theatre
08.05.10 - Vancouver, BC - The Vogue Theatre
08.06.10 - Portland, OR - Aladdin Theater
08.07.10 - Portland, OR - Aladdin Theater

European dates:

05.25.10 - Oslo, Norway - Sentrum Scene
05.27.10 - Helsinki, Finland - House of Culture
05.29.10 - Eindhoven, Netherlands - Muziekcentrum Frits Philips
05.30.10 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Melkweg
05.31.10 - Paris, France - Grand Halle de la Villette
08.22.10 - Glanusk, Wales - Green Man Festival

• Drag City: http://www.dragcity.com/artists/joanna-newsom

[Photo: Charlie Cravero]

Jens Lekman announces European tourdates

What better way to test out songs from your forthcoming album than to play them live in your native continent? Swedish troubadour Jens Lekman has recently announced an upcoming European jaunt to tease fans with some new material and delight them with old jams. No word yet on when his new album can be expected, but let’s all collectively cross our fingers for sometime soon, and maybe it will magically appear this fall. Lekman will be joined by a full band for all tourdates. Who does he think he is? Thom Yorke?

08.01.10 - Dublin, Ireland - Whelans
08.02.10 - Manchester, UK - The Deaf Institute
08.03.10 - London, UK - Union Chapel
08.04.10 - Paris, France - Nouveau Casino
08.05.10 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Paradiso
08.07.10 - Stockholm, Sweden - Strand
08.09.10 - Copenhagen, Denmark - Vega
08.10.10 - Hamburg, Germany - Knust
08.11.10 - Berlin, Germany - Lido
08.13.10 - Göteborg, Sweden - Way Out West

• Jens Lekman: http://www.jenslekman.com

Raaka of the Dilated Peoples rocks a solo album while I trade stocks at 65,000 feet

Yo! How’s it going? Enjoying your day so far? I am. Kickin’ it on the beach, enjoying a delicious treat while I get my toes rubbed by a dude who looks like he’d rather be punching in faces somewhere. But today he’s got his munroe toe rub on the go. Good day for me, bad day for him. I gots me some toe cheeze. You know, the little white crumbly bits that collect when you don’t wash properly. Normally I wash just fine, but I’m on a made-up vacation in me brain, so I can do whatever I want.

NOW I’M HANDGLIDING WITH THE DUDE WHO OWNS VIRGIN, WHAT’S HIS BRANSON.

And now I’m listening to Raaka of the Dilated Peoples rock an album, Crown of Thorns, all by himself. It’s pretty sweet. Massaging the ol’ head meat while layin’ out a smooth flow. I’m all about that. You should be too. Probably gonna be a great album to toss on while you sip some wine and pontificate about brainy shit like a foreign conflict or why it takes so long to get your passport renewed.

It drops July 20 via Decon Records and features production from Evidence, DJ Babu, the Alchemist, and more! Also Chali 2Na, and KRS-One show up! KRS always brings it, so expect awesome sauce! Woo!

• Raaka: http://www.myspace.com/rakaa
• Decon Records: http://www.deconrecords.com

a-ha reunite for farewell tour, or whatever

I hate a-ha, but that hasn’t stopped them from reuniting again this past year and touring. The Norwegian trio are currently working through what they promise will be their final North American concerts. The group will play their final show of all-time in Oslo, Norway on December 4, 2010. The date marks the 25th anniversary of the last time the band did anything significant, the release of their debut album, Hunting High and Low, and its nefarious single, “Take On Me.”

“Take On Me,” a song so evil that hearing only a fragment of its refrain can cause one to privately hum its melody for up to six days, was released just over a month after the date of my birth. Since then, it has resonated vestigially through American pop culture, playing an average of 375 times a day on American radio. Averaged out, this means that every day, “Take On Me” plays once every three minutes and fifty seconds. The song is three minutes and forty-six seconds long, leaving four seconds before the song begins to play again. This also means that “Take On Me” has been playing for 57.5 seconds of every minute of my life.

It is in the remaining two and a half seconds that I plot my revenge. I’m coming for you, a-ha. I’M COMING FOR YOU. I’M COMING FOR YOUR LOVE, OKAY? TAAAAAAKE ONNNN MEEEEEEEE… DAMN YOU, A-HA! YOU WILL NOT BE REMEMBERED! YOU’LL BE GONE! IN A DAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

a-ha: http://www.a-ha.us

Pinback announce special “Rob and Zach Show” tour

Pinback are no strangers to touring, so for their West Coast tour this summer, the core duo of Rob Crow and Zach Smith have decided to switch things up a little bit. Instead of touring with a backing band, Crow and Smith have decided to go out on the road alone and present their music as a duo, dubbed “Pinback Presents the Rob and Zach Show.”

According to a message from Smith: “The idea is to present our music at times in a more broken down manner very similar sounding to how it might be for Rob and I when we’re coming up with a song for the very first time. Hopefully, this way we can create a new atmosphere for a familiar song.”

Smith also notes in his message that the tour is by no means an end to Pinback’s full band live show, so stop cutting your wrists, readers.

07.01.10 - Costa Mesa, CA - Detroit Bar
07.02.10 - San Jose, CA - The Blank Club
07.03.10 - San Francisco, CA - The Independent
07.05.10 - Seattle, WA - Neumo’s Crystal Ball
07.06.10 - Bellingham, WA - The Wild Buffalo
07.07.10 - Portland, Oregon - Doug Fir Lounge
07.09.10 - Reno, NV - Tonic Lounge
07.10.10 - Santa Cruz, CA - The Catalyst Green Room
07.11.10 - San Luis Obispo, California - Downtown Brew

• Pinback: http://www.pinback.com

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