Despite what My Name is Earl has led us all to believe, the phrase “do good things, and good things happen” is apparently a pretty unscientific hypothesis. Case in point: U2’s Bono (as opposed to all those other Bonos you read about) was discharged yesterday from Ludwig Maximilians-University (LMU) Hospital in Munich where he underwent emergency back surgery on Friday. In order to fully recover, he is under doctor’s orders to start an eight-week recuperation and rehabilitation program.
Unfortunately for everyone-everywhere-ever, U2 can’t exactly tour “with or without” him, so this will kinda sorta necessitate the postponement of 16 shows on the U2 360° Tour — from Salt Lake City on June 3, through to New Jersey’s Meadowlands Stadium on July 19. To say the least, this is kind of a summer bummer for the throngs of Americans who were counting on the intensive therapy that only comes from singing “One” out-loud with thousands of total strangers in a decidedly 1990s-style outdoor arena. But fortunately for everyone-everywhere-ever, St. Bono’s karma is so through-the-roof at this point that a complete recovery is a virtual certainty and Live Nation has confirmed that all of the dates will be rescheduled for 2011.
“Bono suffered severe compression of the sciatic nerve,” said Bono’s doctor in nerdy doctor-speak. “On review of his MRI scan, I realized there was a serious tear in the ligament and a herniated disc, and that conservative treatment would not suffice. I recommended Bono have emergency spine surgery with Professor Tonn at Munich’s LMU University Hospital on Friday.” Professor Tonn also added, “Bono was referred to me by Dr. Muller Wohlfahrt late last week with a sudden onset disease. He was already in severe pain with partial paralysis in the lower leg. The ligament surrounding the disc had an 8mm tear and during surgery we discovered fragments of the disc had traveled into the spinal canal. This surgery was the only course of treatment for full recovery and to avoid further paralysis. Bono is now much better, with complete recovery of his motor deficit. The prognosis is excellent, but to obtain a sustainable result, he must now enter a period of rehabilitation.” Oh, the perils of rock!
U2’s manager, Paul McGuinness, was with Bono at the Hospital in Munich. “Our biggest and, I believe, best tour has been interrupted, and we’re all devastated,” McGuinness said. “For a performer who lives to be on stage, this is more than a blow. He feels robbed of the chance to do what he does best and feels like he has badly let down the band and their audience, which is of course nonsense. His concerns about more than a million ticket buyers whose plans have been turned upside down [are concerns] we all share, but the most important thing right now is that Bono make a full recovery.”
Additional details on rescheduled dates will follow shortly and fans are encouraged to hold on to their tickets. Fans and ticket holders can visit U2’s website for ongoing tour updates and Bono recovery news. Is anyone else out there wondering if he’ll wear sunglasses in bed?
06.03.10 - Salt Lake City, UT - Rice Eccles Stadium
06.06.10 - Anaheim, CA - Angel Stadium
06.07.10 - Anaheim, CA - Angel Stadium
06.12.10 - Denver, CO - Invesco Field
06.16.10 - Oakland, CA - Oakland Coliseum
06.20.10 - Seattle, WA - Qwest Field
06.23.10 - Edmonton, Alberta - Commonwealth Stadium
06.25.10 - Pilton, England - Glastonbury
06.27.10 - Minneapolis, MN - TCF Bank Stadium
06.30.10 - East Lansing, MI - Spartan Stadium
07.03.10 - Toronto, Ontario - Rogers Centre
07.06.10 - Chicago, IL - Soldier Field
07.09.10 - Miami, FL - Sun Life Stadium
07.12.10 - Philadelphia, PA - Lincoln Financial Field
07.16.10 - Montreal, Quebec - Montreal Hippodrome
07.17.10 - Montreal, Quebec - Montreal Hippodrome
07.19.10 - New York, NY - New Meadowlands Stadium