Aesop Rock Controversially Elects To Release, Rather Than Drop, New Album On August 28

This is what we call investigative journalism. Hearing that Aesop Rock had made his new album None Shall Pass available for a limited-edition pre-order, I hit the Hip-Hop Database forums to see what the kids were saying. Due to the overwhelming ignorance, I planned to change the names to protect identities and maximize hilarity. However, after 15 minutes of struggling to create funny-sounding aliases, I resolved to just imagine this forum bashing occurring at the Doha Extremism Debate... because sloppy political references are funny?

[SIC]

shaykh Hamza Yusuf: heheh you ready? Im'a ghost write for aesop!

platypus splash mercury sting hamburger in in sperm blimp retrospection

crack epileptic stepfather villianous vaginal postal erection

tunafish spongecake japanese head cold balls piece of paper

venereal disease laptop 67 mustang lobster windshield scraper

actually, this shits too good for aesop, half of the time that MF dont even ryhme.

John Esposito (founding director of the Centre for Muslim-Christian Understanding at Georgetown University): yeah right,,
arock is tight...basically..compare YOUR rhymes..on a cassette player..(oh sorry..cd player)..rRIGHT next to his....PROLLEM Solved.///..

Diana Buttu (former spokesperson for the Palestinian Authority): more like asuk rock

Archbishop Desmond Tutu: he's different...he's gonna have haters and homies

For the homies, the disc is available for pre-order now. The first 500 copies will be signed and include stickers and a poster. The title track is available for free download from the Adult Swim/Definitive Jux collaboration Definitive Swim and torrent sites everywhere.

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