You know something? I know a lot of idiot stoners who are usually psyched (uh, such as they can be) whenever April 20 comes around. And this year, with the "high holiday" actually falling on the same day as the actual High Holiday (a.k.a. Passover), well... goodnight, right? Puns and innuendo are rampant. Or at least, they WOULD be, except that "rampant" just isn't really a lazy enough word to describe anything about these particular folks, save perhaps for the fervor with which they tend to seek-out and destroy their foliage of choice.
Also, no one I know is Jewish either, so...
But of all the cockamamie plans and schemes to commemorate 4/20 that I've been privy to recently, I have to say that none of them even come close to the ambitious plans set forth by New York freak-folk plant-lovers Akron/Family.
They're not skipping community college photography class and having some friends over to their mom and step dads' basements. They're not clearing their schedule to watch Alice in Wonderland together. They're not even organizing a Sublime listening-party (well, maybe they are at some point, I guess)!
Nope, Akron/Family is surprising us all by doing something completely astounding, utterly crazy, and irrevocably mind-blowing: They're going to WORK.
That's right, the communal quartet is outdoing every hippie in the ambition department by going for the gusto and launching a whole series of spring and summer tourdates on 4/20. Over the course of their odyssey, they'll hit both coasts, a few Midwest dates, a UK festival, and even Spain, all while their fanbase doesn't leave the garage!
Just imagine: while you and all of your dirty, hippie friends are working hard at doing nothing in a collective nod to international laziness, some of the dirtiest hippies of all will be working hard at hauling cases and consulting roadmaps! While you are eating brownies, they'll be popping No-Doz! While you are burning leaves and talking about Mother Earth, they'll be burning gasoline and strangling her senseless!
Whoa, can you believe it? I mean, what does all of this MEAN to your belief system, man? I mean, if a clan of oft-bearded, tree-hugging, chant-loving troubadours is getting their shit together like this and punching the clock on this sacred holiday, then maybe that means that you... should... maybe... think about...
...naw. Fuck it.
$ Vetiver
