Andrew W.K. to embark on “Human Party Machine Solo Tour,” which for most people is slang for “eating mushrooms, then masturbating”

Andrew W.K. to embark on “Human Party Machine Solo Tour,” which for most people is slang for "eating mushrooms, then masturbating"

It’s no secret that working for Tiny Mix Tapes is arduous, thankless, shit-work (just kidding, editors; totally give me a raise!), and I would bet that a lot of our readers feel that way about their jobs from time to time as well. But dude, no matter what’s going on with your work or career path in general, aren’t you just routinely glad that you haven’t built your entire career on the shaky premise of being a “professional hard-partier”? I know I am. That just seems miserable. Not only do you have to go at everything you do with full-on, high-octane abandon (which just the sheer thought of makes me tired), but you gotta keep upping the ante and pumping out crazy new shit (and its accompanying rhetoric) to maintain your rep as someone who does crazy shit.

Case in point: Andrew W.K. has just announced (via Consequence of Sound) that he’ll soon head off on what he’s calling “The Human Party Machine Solo Tour” this coming April. In other words, he’s going on a solo tour, on which, according to his website, he’ll be “armed with only a microphone, a keyboard, and the will to survive.” In case you were wondering, the words that follow those words are these words: “Andrew brings the party chaos and drives it into your soul!” Woo-hooooooo! Can I get an air horn?!?

Okay, okay, so maybe I’m being a little glib about this. Besides, W.K. does seem legitimately jazzed about the prospect of dancing the night away in tiny, filthy clubs across the US. “I’m truly excited and also terrified by what will happen at these shows,” he states. “It’s designed for maximum chaos and to put us as close to the abyss as possible. But we’re going to survive and thrive, because we’ll be in it together, arm-in arm and heart-to-heart, becoming a human party machine made of blood, love, and courage. Get your friends together and let’s fucking do this!” Although you’d better be careful that he doesn’t headbutt you on accident when you’re gettin’ all funky together. Something tells me that, at this point, that dude doesn’t even feel his limbs and face anymore.

“The Human Party Machine Solo Tour”:

04.13.13 - Toledo, OH - Frankie’s Inner City
04.14.13 - Hamilton, ON - Club Absinthe
04.15.13 - Buffalo, NY - SoundLab
04.17.13 - Portland, ME - Studio 250
04.18.13 - Providence, RI - PVD Social Club
04.19.13 - Hartford, CT - Arch St Tavern
04.20.13 - Syracuse, NY - The Lost Horizon
05.18.13 - Freehold, NJ - iPlay America (Skate And Surf Festival)
05.19.13 - Pittsburgh, PA - The Altar Bar
05.22.13 - St. Louis, MO - The Firebird
05.23.13 - Des Moines, IA - Vaudeville Mews
05.24.13 - Joliet, IL - Mojoes
05.25.13 - Howell, MI - Harltand Performing Arts Center
05.26.13 - Covington, KY - Madison Theater
05.28.13 - Johnson City, TN - The Hideaway
05.29.13 - Douglasville, GA - The Seven Venue
05.30.13 - Mobile, AL - Alabama Music Box
05.31.13 - Tampa, FL - The Orpheum
06.01.13 - Jacksonville, FL - Roc Bar
06.02.13 - Wilmington, NC @-The Soapbox
06.04.13 - Greensboro, NC - Greene St Club
06.05.13 - Virginia Beach, VA - Shakas
06.06.13 - Richmond, VA - Kingdom
06.07.13 - Springfield, VA - Empire

• Andrew W.K.: