Animal Collective Confirm Fall Dates

By Nobodaddy on 07-30-2008

Are you out of high school? Will you be soon? Unemployed or under-employed? Are you looking for a job that will offer you a real future, room to grow, world-travel, paid-vacations, early retirement, and more???

Then you should consider a career in the fast-paced (literally) world of booze-fueled, Bush-hating Punk-Rawk! With Punk Rawk, you'll have a career that you can really live with. But don't take my word for it... just listen to this totally unrehearsed testimonial from one of our most successful (i.e., most booze-fueled), middle-aged clients:

Yeah... ummm, we started NOFX on a whim back in 1983 after seeing a late-night infomercial for Punk Rawk. We thought, "what the hey?" you know? And here we are 25 years later, all past the age of 40, still touring the world with that same drumbeat in every song. No one has ever caught on! As a matter of fact, we just wrapped up a tour of Germany, Luxembourg, and Canada where we doubled our profit margins by turning the whole tour into a TV series for the Fuse Network, and now we're heading back to the U.S. for another round of shows in support of our most-recent live album (Yes, we've done more than one! That's how great our careers have been!), They've Actually Gotten Worse Live, currently out via our own label, Fat Wreck Chords! Life is unbelievable, and we're hammered all the time. And we owe it all to 25 years in the Punk-Rawk business. Oh wait, excuse me, my beer bong is ready for me... -- Fat Mike, NOFX

Well, there you have it, young job-seekers. Don't wait another second! Pick up the phone and start your own 25+ year career in the fabulous field of Punk Rawk today!

Here's that number one more time:

By Mike McHugh on 07-30-2008

Warner Music Group, loving home to Ryan Cabrera
, Tangerine Dream, and every wonderful thing in between, has won a tremendous PR feather in their big conglomerate cap. According to the New York Post, WMG stock has soared 34% year-to-date with their share price currently valued $8.13. Yeah, it’s still not that high, but after facing a record low $4.36 per share on January 9, WMG did the dance called the bootstrap and now sits on top of the corporate pile as the best performing media stock of 2008 (so far)! Bully to you, WMG!

Nevertheless, WMG’s current listing is a far cry from its starting value of $29.48 when the company went public in 2005. Plus, since the stock was already so low at the beginning of the year, any minuscule improvement was bound to kick their percentage way up in comparison to their corporate homeboys. That doesn’t matter much, though, since the stock of every company in WMG’s peer group has tanked since January 1. Google fell 31%, the always charming News Corporation dropped 32%, and CBS is down 37%. So even though WMG didn’t gain that much ground, at least it can pat itself on the back for not sinking further into the current economic whirlpool.

But the whole inflated percentage thing did allow WMG to pass up the super strong nerd stocks of Marvel and Activision Blizzard, both of which saw 25% gains in their stock value, sailing each company’s price-per-share into the mid-30s. But screw them. Nerds don’t count. Let WMG have their day in the sun. Just this once.