Patronizing headlines aside, we should be grateful for folk like Antony and The Johnsons for always throwing a much-needed jolt of wild interest into our mundane music news day. Thanks to Mr. Hegarty and his “wow factor” way of doing things, I haven’t had to pull out my old standby today: “So-and-so to play same shit-hole that every artist plays when they come through whatever town you might be living kinda nearby, yeah.” With Antony, there are certain expectations to his recording and touring announcements, and the same can be said about this one. The Antony and The Johnsons camp have revealed some high-concept 2009 plans, starting with initial details of his summer orchestra-assisted European tour.

The shows will feature 36-52 member orchestras conducted by Rob Moose playing arrangements by Antony and Nico Muhly. For the Manchester shows, Antony will unveil his commissioned “stage environment for The Crying Light (TMT Review) inspired by Bauhaus stage lighting design and considering the dreams of crystals inside mountains.” This probably does not mean you will see the tantalizing combo of Christmas lights plus a stenciled “Antony” on black construction paper pasted over the venue logo at the back of the stage -- but you never know. More concerts should be announced shortly.

Never one to remain static of mind and activity, Antony has other grand schemes for the near future. First up, will be the 7-inch and CD release of stellar single “Epilepsy is Dancing” on April 7 by Secretly Canadian. Be sure to find the accompanying video, which was directed by the Wachowski Brothers (V for Vendetta, The Matrix) and features a film-spliced Antony in a ghost-white villain mask and black fright wig dodging pogs emblazoned with Luis Buñuel’s visage. Okay, maybe not. See for yourself.

Additionally, lucky Coachella-goers will be able to see Antony play a special concert at the festival Sunday (April 19) on the Indio, CA grounds. Hegarty has tapped Matthew Herbert to play minimal electronic renditions of The Crying Light’s songs, which sounds like reason enough to venture to out California in a few weeks time.

And finally, for this news story, gallery owner and designer Agnes B has asked Antony to exhibit at “Six Eyes,” beginning April 11 at the Gallery du Jour in Paris. Other participants include William Basinski and James Elaine, Barbara Cummard, Peter Hujar, Alice O’Mally, and Kiki Smith.

Here is the full list of shows Antony will be playing over the next few months, including the symphony summer shows and many others European dates before them, which are, of course, already long sold out.

His river never will run dry:
03.31.09 - Prato, Italy - Teatro Politeama Pratese
04.01.09 - Milan, Italy - Sala Verdi Conservatorio
04.04.09 - Zurich, Switzerland - Kongresshaus
04.06.09 - Strasbourg, France - La Laiterie
04.09.09 - Paris, France - Le Grand Rex
04.13.09 - Brussels, Belgium - Bozar
04.15.09 - Barcelona, Spain - Palau de la Musica
04.19.09 - Indio Valley, CA - Coachella Festival, Coachella Polo Fields
04.24.09 - Berlin, Germany - Admiralspalast
04.26.09 - Munich, Germany - Circus Krone
04.27.09 - Frankfurt, Germany - Alte Oper
04.29.09 - Warsaw, Poland - National Theatre
05.01.09 - Krems, Austria - Donaufestival, Main Hall
05.03.09 - Eindhoven, Netherlands - MC FritsPhilips
05.05.09 - San Sebastian, Spain - Kursaal Auditorium
05.07.09 - Murcia, Spain - Auditorio de Murcia
05.11.09 - Madrid, Spain - Palacio de Congresos
05.14.09 - Lisbon, Portugal - Coliseum
05.16.09 - Braga, Portugal - Teatro Circo
05.18.09 - Porto, Portugal - Coliseum
05.21.09 - Brighton, England - Brighton Festival, Brighton Dome Concert Hall
05.22.09 - Birmingham, England - Symphony Hall
05.24.09 - Bristol, England - Colston Hall
05.27.09 - London, England - Hammersmith Apollo
05.29.09 - Gateshead, England - The Sage
05.31.09 - Dublin, Rep. of Ireland - Vicar St

06.01.09 - Belfast, Northern Ireland - Waterfront
06.04.09 - Edinburgh, Scotland - Playhouse
06.21.09 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Holland Festival, Royal Theatre Carré #
06.22.09 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Holland Festival, Royal Theatre Carré #
07.03.09 - Manchester, England - The Opera House $
07.04.09 - Manchester, England - The Opera House $
07.21.09 - Lyon, France - Les Nuits de Fourviere %
07.28.09 - Rome, Italy - Cavea, Il Parco della Musica ^
08.09.09 - Oslo, Norway - Oslo Jazz Festival, Opera House open air venue *
08.14.09 - Gothenburg, Sweden - Way Out West Festival +

# Metropole Orchestra

$ Manchester Camerata (Manchester International Festival)

% Opera de Lyon Orchestra

^ Rome Sinfonietta

* Oslo Opera House Orchestra

+ Gothenburg Symphonic Orchestra

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Etc.