Ariel Pink Starts New Label; Haters Scoff, Say “Don’t Tell Me, All The Bands Are, Like, Ultra Lo-Fi Radio Pop”; Lovers Concede That Point

Some people are never satisfied. They moan and scream about needing one thing, and as soon as they get it, they've moved on to their next complaint. You can try and accommodate for these people, fulfilling their needs up to a point, but when it finally becomes apparent that this very cycle is what sustains them, the only decent thing to do is cut them off and let them solve their own problems.

Like poor people, for example. Most mornings I wake up clad in a modest tuxedo, and before I even sit down at the breakfast table to enjoy my bowl of gold shavings, there they are at the window, their reptilian tongues sliding along the glass. At first I tried to ignore them, but their blood-curdling hyena impressions are impossible to ignore. In a vain attempt to bring appeasement, I opened the window a
crack and tossed out a few squeaky toys filled with catnip. But the grotesque mass of poverty was entertained for mere minutes. Finally I caved to their demands and put twice as much catnip in their toys. Later that night, thinking the poor were finally gone, I relaxed by the fire, occasionally tossing in stacks of $100 bills and logs made of filet mignon. My eyelids became heavy, and I started to let out a yawn when the curtains flew open with a flash to reveal the same poor people, hopped up on catnip and drunk with bloodlust. "HAVE YOU NO DECENCY??" I shrieked into the howling void.

And yet, the behavior of these animals is a trifle compared to the sheer selfishness of my favorite independent musical artist, Ariel Pink. I was so proud of him for being the first non-Animal Collective artist to release records on Paw Tracks. Oh, how I sung his praises. "Ariel!" I would sing. And in the split-second it took to say his name, it felt like nothing would change. I was wrong. Mr. Pink has recently given in to peer pressure and the insatiable need for something new by starting up a brand new record label called Human Ear Music. Essentially taking his past and dragging it through a pig's trough, Ariel and a dozen or so L.A.-based artists are gearing up to hock eight initial releases all at the same time, believing that eight more things are all they'll need to achieve happiness. Some of the delusional artists planning releases include Bubonic Plague, Vibe Central, Geneva Jacuzzi, Greg Gomberg, and Jason Supercreep.

Human Ear will be distributing most of its wares direct via its website, with a focus on limited-edition releases, handmade cover art, and cheap, fleeting thrills. Most notable among the initial lineup is a two-disc/four-cassette collection of early Ariel songs, entitled Pre. These recordings are so old they aren't even technically "Pink," which leads me to wonder if I ever knew the man to begin with. Instead, it appears that Ariel Rosenberg's Thrash and Burn recorded these songs. Have I been in love with Tony Hawk all this time?

To celebrate this "next best thing," Human Ear held a label showcase in L.A. a couple nights ago. Godspeed:

09.27.06 - Melbourne, Australia - East Brunswick Club
09.29.06 - Sydney, Australia - Spectrum
10.01.06 - Melbourne, Australia - Missing Link Records
10.05.06 - Adelaide, Australia - Rocket Bar