Bang On A Can Throw An Office Party Featuring... Themselves

If it were my office having a festival, it would consist of a bunch of our fake bands that have not yet been realized — my boss’ rapper name is Hyper Billy (...yes, hyperbole) and one of my co-workers has the idea for a band called the Creedles (Beatles songs in the style of Creed). To be honest, none of my coworkers, or myself, are very musically talented (Although one of them insists on singing loudly quite often... like in my car, while drunk. Alanis Morissette. ‘Nuf said.).

Luckily, the staffers at Bang On A Can got talent and are having a festival featuring their staff’s bands. Bands include “nouveau-bluegrass” band M Shanghai String Band, “avant-skronk” Babe The Blue Ox, the “neo-indie-classicism” sounds of Get Him Eat Him, “baroque-noir” Melomane, and the “boogie-down anarchronism-funk” of Riot of 1866 Brass Band. I don’t know what the fuck any of those genre descriptions mean.

The show is on Thursday, October 2 at recently opened Bell House in Brooklyn. It’s $10 and gets jumpin’ around 8 PM. Here is the schedule:

- Get Him Eat Him, featuring Bang on a Can’s Marketing Manager, Matt Lemay (singer/songwriter/guitarist)
- Babe The Blue Ox, featuring Bang on a Can’s Director of Development, Tim Thomas (guitarist/singer/songwriter)
- M Shanghai String Band, featuring Bang on a Can’s Program Director, Philippa Thompson (violinist/singer/songwriter)
- Melomane, featuring Bang on a Can’s Executive Director, Kenny Savelson (drummer/percussionist/bookie)
- Riot of 1866 Brass Band, featuring Bang on a Can’s Project Manager, Jeremy Thal (French horn)

Punk’s Not Dead – Thanks to New HD Blu-Ray Technology!!! Sex Pistols to Release Live DVD

At last, you can relive, in the comfort of your own home, the historic Sex Pistols kinda reunion of 2007! Imagine, a time before Sarah Palin, a time after Sid Vicious. Although it may seem like a distant and mythical time, you can now experience the wonders of 2007 and the Pistols' November reunion shows at Brixton Academy in London without a time travel machine or a Kubla Khan level of opium usage. How is this mighty wonder possible, you ask? Why, through the magic of Rhino Records, of course!

Within a matter of weeks, and just in time to introduce annoying neighborhood trick-or-treaters to the loud, fast, no-holds-barred world of late-’70s punk rock, There'll Always Be an England will be released October 14 in the U.S. The DVD will feature not only concert footage, but over an hour's worth of bonus material, including a Julien Temple-directed segment titled The Knowledge, which -- buyers beware -- is not a follow-up to this summer's star-studded ode to the 1990s, The Wackness (TMT Review). But even though you won't be able to see more hard-hitting dramedy from the likes of Mary-Kate Olsen and Ben Kingsley, you will be able to see each of the remaining members of the reunited Pistols -- namely Johnny Rotten, Glen Matlock, Paul Cook and Steve Jones -- doing the "this is a bar where I used to kick it, but now it's a Tesco" tour of their past London haunts.

In addition to There'll Always Be an England, Rhino will also be reissuing Never Mind the Bollocks on 180-gram vinyl, also on October 14.

Tracklisting:

Run-D.M.C., Metallica, and The Stooges Nominated for Rock and/or Roll Hall O’ Fame – No, Run-D.M.C. Would Not the First Rap Act to Be Inducted

Hey, reader! Have you been itching to find out what the next Rock and Roll Hall of Fame class will be? Want to know which artists will next be considered the ‘greatest of the great’? Dying to know when the induction ceremony will be? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH I WEIGH.

Well, let’s answer those questions by order of importance. I weigh 175 pounds, soaking wet. Okay, on to the boring stuff: Nine potential inductees were announced by the RnRHoF earlier this week, with the full list as follows: Run-D.M.C., Metallica, The Stooges (who last tried to make it into the RnRHoF two years ago), Jeff Beck, Bobby Womack, War, Wanda Jackson, Little Anthony and the Imperials, and Chic, the latter of which is the only group to reappear from last year's ballot. Now, imagine that lineup as a show -- that would be awesome, no?

After the nominees are announced, the list is then turned over to 500 musicians, industry professionals, and journalists who cast their votes according to personal opinion. (No, I am not one of the journalists included, but thanks for thinking I’m good enough.) The five highest-scoring acts are then announced in January and inducted April 4, 2009, complete with an induction speech by Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen. The ceremony will be held in Cleveland this year, for the first time in more than a decade, and tickets will be made available to the public for the first time. WOW! Can you get me tickets, Mr P? [Editor's note: fuck off.]

Finally, in a bit of sad news for hairspray and bad guitarists the world over, both Stevie Ray Vaughn and Bon Jovi were left off the ballot, their first year of eligibility. To be eligible, an artist must have released their first single or album 25 years prior to nomination. So, just keep on waiting 4 NonBlondes; you’ll get their eventually.

Amazon To Start Stocking Vinyl, A Very Grum Old Man Reminisces

You damn kids have no idea. Back in the day, way back, way WAY back, we used to have phonographs, all thanks to Tom Edison. It was marvelous. Nothing, NOTHING reproduced sound as well as those first-class pieces of tinfoil. It was so warm, so lifelike. But then, some stupid goddamn lickfingers came along and started putting everything on wax cylinders. I remember going to Tower Cylinders and picking up “And Her Golden Hair Was Hanging Down Her Back” by Monroe H. Rosenfeld ft. Felix McGlennon on wax. Honestly, it sounded like shit. And let me tell you, shit smelled worse in those days. Today’s wimps wouldn’t survive for two seconds back in 1894.

Just when I finished re-purchasing and re-organizing all of my favorite Bartók concertos on wax cylinder, it all changed over again with the advent of disc records. Those disc records were absolute hogwash! They sounded brittle, cold, un-lifelike. Still, they hung on for a number of years until some idiots decided to invent a whole caboodle of garbage such as 8-tracks, cassette tapes, and compact discs. Ugh. Total crap. I didn’t think it could get worse, but now we have MP7s or whatever, and I just refuse to participate.

This is all to say that I do not give a rat’s ass that Amazon.com, some sort of Computerized World Net Web portal site, is stocking vinyl discs again. It’s apparently part of some revival of that format, but I won't buy it and I'm not buying into it. Kids these days are so fickle; they have no attention span. By the time anybody realizes this junk is for sale, they’ll be on to the next thing. It’s balderdash. You can go buy that crap, but I’m going to wait until they bring back tinfoil. I don’t care what anyone else tells me on the matter; I won’t be moved.

MySpace: “You Can’t Trust Anyone These Days”; Faces Possible Antitrust Action From Indie Labels Over New Online Music Store

News Corporation, Rupert Murdoch’s collective of youth-oriented media outlets (such as the small, secular-based cable access Fox News Channel and the GLBT magazine The Weekly Standard), has plans for an online music store. The nondescript store named MySpace Music hasn’t launched yet, but it promises to open up the company’s liberal portfolio of holdings like The Wall Street Journal and The Times to a more conservative audience.

According to The Register, MySpace Music will offer downloads, concert tickets, ringtones, and more, all packaged in what “MySpace insiders want to become the ‘internet's MTV.’” MTV is well known for its reactionary commentary and its fiscally conservative news on the global financial markets. It is a bold move and, in this writer’s opinion, quite refreshing to see the socially conscious and independent-focused grassroots News Corp reach out and co-opt the conservative culture to rebrand and repackage it with demographic-specific ads.

News Corp’s subversive new store is set to give right-wingers the content they want, while distancing the liberal name of the company as it makes money. Let’s just hope the emerging community (read: joint venture) of the world’s biggest media owner and the world’s three biggest major record labels (no EMI just yet*) can foster something unfettered by those big corporate giants out to screw the little guy.

But, that’s exactly what is happening.

Apparently, MySpace Music is coming under scrutiny for blocking independent labels from uploading music to the store. While News Corp is just trying to get upstarts like Sony BMG and Warner Music Group in stores (truthfully, Murdoch doesn’t care about money; he just wants the music to be heard), the collective is facing possible antitrust violations. There’s an issue of territorial rights and the way songs are uploaded, “but the broader concern is that MySpace Music is a party to which the independents haven't been invited -- an arrangement which strengthens the major labels' dwindling control over music distribution in a digital era.”

MySpace Music is a real spitfire, and it isn’t going down without a fight. A spokesperson had this to say in response to the antitrust talk:

We are not aware of any antitrust complaint or inquiry pending against either MySpace or MySpace Music. MySpace Music welcomes indie artists and is not blocking content from them or other labels. Our goal is to provide the indie community with powerful tools and monetization channels to enable them to access revenue streams previously unavailable.

Crisis averted, for now. Support News Corp’s grassroots effort and donate whatever you can at newscorp.com.

*MySpace Music debuted unexpectedly Wednesday night after EMI signed on.

Krist Novoselic WUSSES OUT, Flipper Cancels Tour

I've read in a number of places that awesome San Francisco noise/sludge/punk outfit Flipper held a coveted place in Kurt Cobain's record collection, alongside The Vaselines, The Melvins, and The Raincoats. So it was an obvious pick for the Flipper dudes (TMT News) to pick up former Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic for low-end duty, especially considering he's not doing much these days besides fixing democracy with his books, hangin' tough with dude from Sublime, growing a Will Oldham beard, and being unusually tall. Evidently, these past times are more important to Mr. N.

Novoselic announced this week that he's leaving the band due to "responsibilities at home." As such, the tour, originally scheduled to kick off November 8 at Austin, TX's Fun Fun Fun Fest, is canceled. No make-up dates or contigency plans have been announced.

Despite such unfortunate news, Flipper fans do have something to look forward to, as the band announced that they are re-releasing Generic Flipper, Gone Fishin', Public Flipper Limited, and Sex Bomb Baby on all formats (including digital). Look for those sometime before the year's end.

As exciting as this is, we're still tryin' to see some Flipper over here. Call up Moby... or Eric Avery from Jane's Addiction, or somethin' -- see what they have penciled in their day planners. You know they're probably not doing a whole lot right now.

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