Battles to Tour, TMT Newswriter AJ Pacitti to Keep Her Typically Dirty Mouth Shut out of Actual Respect; Which Translates to “OMFG OMFG I LIKE TOTALLY WORSHIP U IAN WILLIAMS <3 <3 <3” in Internet Girlspeak

Dearest, Sweetest Math Rock Kid,

Battles are touring.

I have nothing cynical to say, so let's live in this sweetest, rare, life-giving moment.

Seriously:

Let's dance like no one's watching. Let's laugh often, and loud, and with -- not at -- each other. Let's hang poorly-decaled wall signs over our dressers that say "Dance as if no one is watching, sing as if no one is listening, love as if you've never been hurt," to further remind ourselves to dance... sing... and love. Let's look deeply into each others' eyes, run in fields barefoot, bask in the moonlight, and wear cut-offs. Let's go joy-riding, reader, baby sweetheart! Then, let's sit back in Adirondack chairs, sip lemonade, and enjoy an abridged version of these dated MTV pseudo-band remix lyrics.

Battles are touring, and we are in love, and drinking lemonade, and life is beautiful. Close your eyes dearest, sweetest math rock kid. Let’s listen, and dance, and live for love...

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UMeUs Calculus Dream Maker Club Mix

Originally Performed By 2Gether

We'll I've never been good at history

And I don't give a crap

About Robert E. Lee

When it comes to close signs

I know a thing or two

And I kicked ass on the test about me and you

I know my calculus it says

You plus me equals us

Said I know my calculus

It says you plus me equals us

What the world needs right now is boy bands

Perfect, no problem, I've got a boy band

Boy band (x4)

What I need now

Is my troublemaker

I know where the bad boys hang out

Girl, Algebra or trigonometry

Could never equal up to what you do to me (do to me)

So let's integrate

Don't differentiate

If you were in my class

There ain't no way I could pass (way I could pass)

I hate English, gym

And not to mention

I can't even afford to pay my attention (pay my attention)

No philosophy could ever come between us

But we'll always have our calculus

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U+ME=CANDY HEARTS, LOVE NOTES IN LOCKERS, MAKE-OUT SESHS IN MY PARENTS' DRIVEWAY... AND BATTLES TOURDATES:

$ Caribou, Born Ruffians

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