Be Your Own PET Drummer Quits to Be His Own PARENT

In a rash and unsubstantiated move, Be Your Own PET drummer Jamin Orrall has given up the stable life of a touring musician to join the dangerous and reckless world of college students. Sure, there may be beer-pong and girls, but there is also a Big Brother-esque facebook team watching you! Along with classes and all that jazz. Don't look at me, I went to tech school for comedy news writing. Did you know you can double major in indie rock news and refrigerator repair? We live in a wonderful world.

Orrall, who has yet to disclose his list of dream schools and safeties, will spend his time focusing on his own record label Infinity Cat and his band Jeff, formed with his brother Jake. It has not been confirmed whether Ecstatic Peace head honcho and general man-about-town Thurston Moore is going to replace Orrall on drums, but time will tell. Given the success of his daughter Coco Gordon Moore's band The Lightbulb, Moore might be tempted to pick up the drumsticks. It would be Moore's first foray into live music.

Banksy and Danger Mouse Punk Hilton

Awww man, this is one of those news pieces so joyful to relate that I just can't help but sit here writing with a big fat smile all over my angular, beautiful, yet somehow equine features.

Most of you will have heard of Paris Hilton. And an equally large number of you, I hope, will have heard of Banksy, the legendary British "guerrilla artist" famed for his idiosyncratic and deeply socially aware works of graffiti. His work can often be seen around London and other UK cities, but he is also well-known for having the sheer guts and audacity to paint on the Israel-built security wall at the West Bank in Palestine. In short, the man's work is vital, and even before his latest stunt, many people regarded him as a probable genius.

However, he's recently expanded his subversive output, this time preferring to take on one of the symbols, the icons, the bastions of popular culture — one of the people that epitomises all that glisters in Western society. Hilton's new CD was released recently in the UK, and Banksy saw his opportunity. 500 jacked CDs were planted in 42 stores across the country, replacing Hilton's music with Danger Mouse's wry remixes, and the cover art was doctored by Banksy to include track titles "Why am I Famous?," "What Have I Done?," and "What Am I For?," as well as statements such as "90% of success is just showing up," "Every CD you buy puts me more out of your league," and "Life wasn't meant to be fair." Here's the YouTube, linked from Banksy's site.

Now, we at TMT are used to writing our news in a 'ludicrous fashion' — just check our Wikipedia if you're not sure — but I feel that this news is sufficiently enjoyable without my attempts at snarkiness. So I'm going to go and see if HMV are stocking the new Paris record.

On USA, UK Go Beirut Sign In Tour To & 4AD

Beirut are currently experiencing a lot of activity. They are on the cusp of the new retro-style trend in music, in which bands name themselves after a geographic location. America, Kansas, & Chicago begat Beirut, Canada, & America, again (because they're coming back with a new album featuring the likes of Ryan Adams, James Iha & Adam what'shisface from Fountains Of Wayne). They (Beirut, not America, don't get confused) also recently signed to 4AD in Europe, giving the legendary label the right to release the band's Gulag Orkestar on that continent in an expanded form. Said expansion will consist of the original album plus a new EP, entitled Lon Gisland (misspelled on purpose, smarty). The EP also will come out in the U.S. this fall as a limited-edition, one-sided 12-inch.

If that weren't enough, and, let's face it, in this fast-paced world of 60-hour workweeks and dwindling paychecks, it sure as hell isn't, the band also have a couple tours lined up. Late September will find the group in a cross-country jaunt, which, after about a month, will be interrupted by a six-date trek with Calexico, which has the band visiting various United Kingdom cities. Then it's right back to the home of liberalism in America, (the country, not the band, please don't get confused) the East Coast, for a few shows on the way back to their home base of Brooklyn. Who knew the rocket ship to the top of the musical heap would be influenced by Eastern Europe (I have no idea what this means. I guess I will leave it up to you, dear reader, to come to your own conclusion)?

Lon Gisland EP:

1. Elephant Gun
2. My Family's Role In the World Revolution
3. Scenic World
4. (Interlude)
5. Carousels


09.22.06 - Durham, NC - Duke Coffeehouse
09.23.06 - Greensboro, NC - Flying Anvil
09.24.06 - Atlanta, GA - Variety
09.29.06 - Swarthmore, PA - Swarthmore Campus
10.04.06 - Toronto, ON - Horseshoe
10.05.06 - Ottawa, QC - Zaphod Beezlebrox
10.07.06 - Montreal, QC - Le National
10.12.06 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle
10.14.06 - Minneapolis, MN - Triple Rock
10.17.06 - Seattle, WA - Crocodile
10.18.06 - Portland, OR - Holocene
10.20.06 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall
10.21.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Troubadour
10.24.06 - Santa Fe, NM - Santa Fe Brewing Company
10.26.06 - Albuquerque, MN - Launchpad
10.28.06 - Austin, TX - Emo‘s
10.31.06 - Gateshead, UK - Sage #
11.01.06 - Glasgow, UK - ABC 1 #
11.02.06 - Dublin, UK - Olympia #
11.03.06 - Liverpool, UK - Academy #
11.04.06 - Sheffield, UK - Octago #
11.05.06 - London, UK - Camden Roundhouse
11.16.06 - Providence, RI - Leung Gallery
11.18.06 - Bennington, VT - Bennington Campus
11.21.06 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
11.22.06 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom

# w/ Calexico

Maritime Tours, Many People Check Blogs To See If It Is Okay To Be Excited

Hey all you hipsters out there. Why can't you figure out whether something is good or not on its own merits? You decry hype, yet without it, you would never know what to like. You have no taste, just interweb access and the ability to read. You love Martime's well-reviewed second LP, We, The Vehicles [TMT Review], yet you could care less about their first album, Glass Floor (Desoto). LP 2 is barely differeny from LP 1. And while you may have enjoyed a few D-Plan hits (DP bassist, Eric Axelson, was in Martime until recently) back in the day, you surely never gave the Promise Ring (current vocalist/gutiarist Davy von Bohlen and drummer Dan Didier were in tPR) any respect. In fact, if you are of a certain age, you probably remember the sick joy you got from hearing that the PR crashed their van back in the late '90s.

But nowadays, as I alluded to above, you can't get enough of Davey and Co., so I am sure you will want to see them live. They're starting a tour of the American Midwest and West Coast on Friday/Today. More East Coast and Southeast dates are promised for December, in case you are bummed by the routing this time around. They may play a song or two from the first album at these shows — you know, the LP that most people, both on and off the internet, either pooped on or just plain ignored. But, I doubt you will care anyway, since you will probably be talking on you cell phone or practicing your txt skills while the band is giving it their all up on stage. U mk me sk. Keep reading TMT though, cuz we have (collectively) more cool then Sufjan Stevens and more beauty then Neko Case.


09.08.06 - Madison, WI - Terrace &
09.09.06 - Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue
09.13.06 - Ames, IA - Maintenance Shop
09.14.06 - Lincoln, NE - Knickerbockers
09.15.06 - Denver, CO - Marquis Theater
09.16.06 - Salt Lake City - Kilby Court
09.18.06 - Portland, OR - Towne Lounge
09.19.06 - Seattle, WA - The Paradox
09.21.06 - San Francisco, CA - Café Du Nord
09.22.06 - Sacramento, CA - The Library
09.23.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland
09.24.06 - Goleta, CA - Hard To Find Showspace (ha!)
09.25.06 - San Diego, CA - Cashbah
09.26.06 - Phoenix, AZ - Rhythm Room
09.28.06 - Austin, TX - Emo's Jr

09.29,06 - Dallas, TX - The Cavern
09.30.06 - Springfield, MO - Randy Bacon Studio & Gallery
10.19.06 - Chicago, IL - Subterranean *
10.20.06 - Dayton, OH - The Night Owl *
10.21.06 - New York, NY - The Mercury Lounge *
10.22.06 - Cambridge, MA - The Middle East (upstars) *
10.23.06 - Cleveland, OH - The Grog Shop *

& w/ Mark Mallman
* w/ Bound Stems

NFL Bans Gary Glitter; Drunk Drivers, Wife Beaters, Coke Addicts and Murderers Still Welcome

What's worse than being on the UK's Sex Offender listing, getting expelled from Cambodia, and serving time in a Vietnamese prison for molesting two underage girls? Having your only recognizable hit song banned by the National Football League of course! Newsweek reports that the NFL, the nation's upholders of moral standards and decency, has issued a statement to its teams suggesting they discontinue playing ex-glam star and convicted child sex offender Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part Two."

It's been rough sailing for Glitter (born Paul Francis Gadd) over the past decade; dude just can't get a break in this child porn/molestation racket, can he? Earlier this summer, a Vietnamese court upheld charges of child-molestation, meaning the former glam-rocker (as my Dad would describe him) will be serving three years in jail. Original charges of child rape were dropped last December due to a lack of evidence. In 1999, Glitter finally pleaded guilty to 54 charges of possessing child pornography after computer files were confiscated two years previously. The aged glamster has been been living in the southern Vietnamese resort of Vung Tau for the last year and has maintained that he is innocent claiming it all to be part of a conspiracy by UK tabloids.

A player, who only wanted to be known as Jacques "the cacques" Wacktackle may have given this quote regarding the NFL's statement, "I think this is a thing that has to be done. I mean, we get up to a lot of craziness on the road, but this is simply unacceptable. Animals are one thing, kids are another, I think. We've got to draw the line somewhere and play as a team and give 110 percent..." He then grunt-exhaled and pulled out the andro needle from his bum vein.

Certainly we haven't heard the last of this sure-fire audio crowd crack? NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy told venerable news outlet E! Online, "Most of the teams understand the reasons, and ultimately, it's their decision, but we encourage them not to play it. In terms of the music that's played, pre-game or halftime, that's controlled by the teams, not the NFL."

So while teams like the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs have dumped the song from their stadium repertoire and chosen tunes for fans and from their suggestions (Big Bad Voodoo Daddy's "Go Daddy-o" and P.O.D.'s "Boom" respectively), there are rumors that others won't give up the Glitter ghost so soon and may stick to the "it's the singer, not the song" adage and use cover versions of "The Hey Song" (as it's more commonly known to football jockeys) to use during games.

Key-rist there's so many questions this limp, league-issued boycott provokes: What sort of effect will not playing this stadium standard have on fan participation (fingers are crossed for less "waves" and more streakers). Will this spur other leagues to think about issuing a similar "ban"? Will the NFL take this as a starting point and start to address the sick amount of problems associated with the league and its players that are too numerous to mention here but can be guessed at by re-reading the title of this story? What are the chances of Glitter's possible rendition of "Sweet Child O' Mine" ever seeing the light of day (so, soooo sorry everyone...)? Will the super-successful NFL Europe follow suit and suggest banning the song? Well, we can only say we don't know and we don't give a flying...duh, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh...hey! duh nuh nuh nuh... TMT says good riddence to bad garbage, and bad tuneage too.

Millions of TMT Readers Ban MySpace for Attempting to Sell Music Downloads, Tom Removes Them All From His Top 8 Friends

You all ready for the revolution? The website known to many as a "horrrendous use of code" or "the worst website coding in the world" is going to be entering the lucritive music download sales market. Not content to abuse the RAM of every computer whose web browser points at it, the megasite (who actually achieved more hits than Google or YouTube recently) decided that they needed to spread more DRM-friendly music all over the world.

The plan is to enable artist webpages to sell MP3 files directly from their MySpace site, as well as set their own prices. The profits earned by the sale of these files will then be split with the man who is everyone's friend, Tom.

Unfortunately, the project managers neglected to remember that the entirety of TMT's readership will be banning MySpace for their corporate whoredom, and thus, their budgets will likely be out of balance.

Millions of TMT readers can't be wrong!