Apple to maybe relaunch Beats Music in March… or maybe not… but probably? It’s really still up to Bono.

Apple to maybe relaunch Beats Music in March... or maybe not... but probably? It's really still up to Bono.

So, I’m sure you all remember every single thing that happened to you two months ago, right? So there’s probably no real need for me to rehash the sensational piece we wrote at that time about how Apple was rumored to be shutting down “the streaming-music, all-you-can-stand-for-$10-a-month-style subscription service founded by Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre, Beats Music, which it gobbled-up like just one in a stream of unending Pac-Man pellets back in May,” right? (Man, it feels good to be able to quote yourself as a source! I feel like a Ph.D or some shit!) Okay, sweet.

Now then… here’s the THING though… according to a great little post onStereogum that I’d really rather just ignore but can’t, Apple might actually be making good on their promise to bring Beats Music back, and it might happen as early as March of 2015. According to Billboard, some sleekified, glossed-up, snow-white iteration or another of Beats Music will magically appear in an upcoming iOS update, in perfect accord with the late CEO Steve Jobs’ dying wish that the Apple of the future start surprise-forcing all kinds of shit on all of its users whether they like it or not.

Still no real word as to how much Apple will fuck with the business model of the service before they relaunch it (e.g. keeping Beats a pay-service vs. some sort of ad-supported free thing like Spotify). But rest assured, whatever happens, the Beats of the future will be way more… um, elegant? Yeah. And sleek. Elegant and sleek. Ooh, AND 40% thinner. Abra-cadabra!

• Apple: http://www.apple.com
• Beats Music: http://www.beatsmusic.com

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