Björk Announces Euro Tour After Exxon Mobil Announces $40.6 Billion Profit (True), Gets Off Soap Box To Let Me Have a Ride

Björk, two-time Soap Box Derby champion, has traded in her soap box for... music? That's right. Björk has said goodbye to the Soap Box world and hello to melodies and beats.

"It's true," says Derby commentator Sebastian Block. "Björk seems to be fed up with the politics of soap-boxing. And I'm not talking about the disproportionate power relations behind the scenes. I'm talking about Senator Hillary Clinton. Björk hates her. I do too."

With the U.S. economy already in a fragile state -- the words "recession" and "depression" appearing frequently in the media -- Björk claims she is most upset with Exxon Mobil's early February announcement that it has scored its highest, all-time corporate profit: $40.6 billion.

According to this article: "The profit taken in by this single company amounted to more than the gross domestic product recorded in two thirds of the world's nations, placing the company midway between Ecuador and Luxembourg, while its total sales—more than $404 billion—top the GDP of 120 countries. It is more than the entire amount spent by the US federal government on K-through-12 education."

Björk's decision to let me hop in her Soap Box couldn't come at a more opportune time, as I have been eagerly awaiting to report this disgusting news, especially since a lot of major media aren't. Somehow I doubt Obama or Clinton will specifically address this bullshit.

This soap box feels kind of good. Only at TMT I guess:

* Tim is Reader of the Day!