BLOODYMINDED and Charlie Draheim Start Terminal Phase Luna Tour 2007 Tonight!

When the chart-topping country music band BLOODYMINDED ran afoul of audiences back in 2003 after Mark Solotroff made anti-Bush and anti-war comments, the incident should have been nothing more than a blip on the pop-culture radar -- an Entertainment Tonight sort of news story that was worthy of a Charlie Draheim mention and little more. But instead it turned into -- for whatever reason -- the launching pad for a national debate about freedom of speech in post-9/11 America, as well as yet another indicator of how divided Americans have become in recent years on matters of politics, religion, culture, and yes, even... pop music. The end.

Terminal Phase Luna Tour 2007 (BLOODYMINDED, Charlie Draheim, Climax Denial, and Silvum) + No Future Fest:
04.16.07 - Chicago, IL - Elastic Arts Foundation
04.17.07 - Columbus, OH - Cafe Bourbon Street with Envenomist
04.18.07 - Lexington, KY - The Frowny Bear
04.19.07 - Atlanta, GA - Eyedrum
04.21.07 - Chapel Hill, NC - Nightlight (No Future Fest)
04.22.07 - Baltimore, MD - The Bank
04.23.07 - Philadelphia, PA - Circle of Hope with Air Conditioning, Leslie Keffer, Macronympha
04.24.07 - Cleveland, OH - Embassy

It is the second week of April and most Canadian males' minds have turned to one thing and one thing only: hockey playoffs. The stereotype of the beer-guzzling, hockey-worshiping, loudmouth drunk Canuck is so appropriate and true, especially at this "crucial" part of the year. I witnessed at least eight tables of eight guys readying their playoff pools at the tavern every day last week during my daily three-pint lunch breaks. For those that don't follow the sport, or won't admit to liking it because they have to portray that played-out "I like music and art so I hate sports and jocks" routine (psst, the days of clinging to your high school mindset is over), it is a particularly difficult time of the year, because it is the beginning of a period where partners get the chance to see a whole new suck-hole side to their worse halves.

It would be hypocritical of me to pretend I'm any different from the retread brethren that I would ordinarily loathe to share air with or sit next to on the bus at this time of the year. I secretly love playoff hockey and all that it brings. Expert opinions and stats about the great game spew from the most unlikely of mouths (thanks for the percentage of face-offs won and the corresponding series win ratio, Sheila from the Accounting Dept.!), conversations dissecting minute gameplay ("picking pucks out of mid-air is a science; protecting the puck along the dasher boards is an artform... get it right!"), and grand nonsense statement making ("if so-and-so don't pull out this game 2 win, I'm literally going to set his whole place on fire and then piss it out!") are standard EVERYDAY in any Canadian city that has a pro team lucky enough to have made it into the "second season." As is the chance you will see someone come close to kicking in a flat screen bar TV after a rough loss. Aye, aye, these are truly golden days.

This year, there is something different in the air. I'm still excited to meet up with friends and watch a game, but the fire is subdued and smoldering, not passionate and fiery. Something is beckoning me to spend more time alone, at home, in my bedroom working on more creative pursuits and listening to far-out psych-folk masterpieces (preferably sung in foreign tongue). I keep having visions of distant Nordic lands and have spent an inordinate amount of time reading works by Aleksis Kivi, Mika Waltari, and Väinö Linna. This spring marks the return of Islaja, and that is surely more important than any sporting past-time!

Islaja is Merja Kokkonen and Ulual Yyy is her third solo outing for Fonal. It contains nine tracks of cottage industry-created, multi-tracked, outsider loveliness that the Finnish folkie furnishes. I am not sure what the songs below mean, but I love to rock the umlauts! It is a pity that most of the Scandinavian and German players lose 'em from their names before they hit the National Hockey League.

1. Kutsukaa sydäntä
2. Sydänten ahmija
3. Pete P
4. Laulu jo menneestä
5. Pysähtyneet planeetat
6. Muusimaa
7. Varjokuvastin
8. Muukalais-silmä
9. Suru ei

Feist Goes on Tour of Canada, Takes Nothing But Pictures, Leaves Nothing But Footprints

I have to say, they may make great music, but Feist, Peaches, Millan and the rest of the Canadian Ladies Indie Rock Team are a bunch of sappy-headed hosers

***After C. Schell's Two-Week TMT Suspension***

Hey everybody, sorry, I was just trying to be funny. I apologize. How can I make it up to you? I know, how about with some news? Feist, that Canadian renaissance woman who was a guitarist for By Divine Right, a conspirator of Kings of Convenience & Peaches, and a Broken Social Scene-ster, has just announced some dates for a late-spring Canadian tour. This Canadian tour will be a tour of Canada, and Canada only. Please don't ask me where Canada is, because then I am going to insult you "humorously," which no one will find funny and I will again be suspended. Just check out a map, if you would. The trek across Canada begins May 15 in Victoria, British Colombia and wraps up in Quebec City two weeks later.

May is a big month for Feist, as May 1 finds her releasing her third proper solo album, The Reminder, on Cherry Peel/Interscope in the U.S. and Arts & Crafts in Canada. It promises to be a mellow, balled-filled affair -- the kind of album that you will think is great, until your parents hear it on NPR and ask you if you know anything about this "Feast" woman, who they think is just super. Then you will disavow it as "Mom & Dad" rock. You can deny it all you want, but you know I am right.

The Reminder tracklist:

Sage Francis Is Touring – Let’s Check His Wikipedia Entry!

Sage Francis (Raper) - From Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia

Sage Francis (born 1988) is a raper from Providence, which is in Rhode Island. He picked his stage name by combining his favourite herb, his favourite country and his favourite third-person singular verb.

Career

Born in 1967, Sage "Paul" Francis quickly made his name as a slam poet, which is like rapping but more pretentious[citation needed]. After defeating Mothra, who was recovering from a battle with Godzilla[citation needed], he answered his true calling as a freestyle battle raper, winning the 2000 Scribble Jam, although not without controversy, spending his allotted two minutes explaining in great detail his opponent's direct links to several major weapons manufacturers and Dachau concentration camp administrators.

SAGE FRANCIS SUXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!

shutup, he rox shutup

Signed to Epitaph, he's released loads of records.

Trivia


  • Sage once attempted to recreate the famous egg-eating scene from Cool Hand Luke. He ate six eggs before remembering that he was lactose intolerant.
  • SAGE FRANCIS IS A FAAAAAG[citation needed]

Discography

Revolver (1966)

Sick of Waiting... (1999)

Still Sick... Urine Trouble (2000)

Sicker Still (2002)

For The Love Of God, Look At How Sick I Am (2003)

Actually, I'm Not Feeling So Sick Today (2004)

A Healthy Distrust (2005)

Oh, Oh, It's Back, I'm Feeling Sick Again (2006)

Human The Death Dance (2007)

Tourdates:

For my Mom... and my sister,

Some things are never funny. Incest, for example, is never funny. It was not funny last week when someone told a related off-color joke to me, and it was not funny in the Cosby Show re-run I saw the other night when tele-teen siblings Theo and Denise were in bed together and they were bumping uglies and the shaking was just so darned rowdy and rude that it knocked the family portrait (sans Rudy) off the nightstand. If my memory is correct (and I do believe it is), I think Theo then started jumping on the bed while spraying cream-colored pellets all over the room and all over his sister's reclined body while yelling random battle cries from Braveheart. Denise, after a briefly putting of an air of incredulity and admonishment, grabbed Theo by his whirly-bird and swung him around like the neighborhood bully does with a cat's tail. Afterward, Denise's blouse is a tad disheveled, Theo's fade a shade askew, and the kids walk downstairs hand-in-hand for Sunday roast. Cut to commercial.

The Cosby concept of family closeness portrayed in that rarely-seen episode is EXACTLY the underlying raison d'etre for the latest release from Silber Records. Well, kinda. Sorta. Not really. Before you call the cops on me and the Raleigh, NC-based "drone love honesty sound" label, when I speak of Silber being incestuous, I am talking about its bands covering one another on a new downloadable compilation available here called Silber on Silber! And come to think of it, when I read back what I wrote about that Cosby episode and its overly-familiar tone, it may really have been a hallucination or dream brought upon by sleeping next to open solvent jars and paint cans for the past two-and-a-half weeks. I like to do that to kickstart the creative juices from time to time.

Regardless of my predilection for over-the-top news story intros, Silber are indeed at it again, and they are doing it in the best possible taste. The concept of bands who share the same label covering each others' songs is an old and chivalrous notion. Giving the resulting tracks away for FREE is not. Yet again, the good people at the awe-inspiring label are making the cream of its roster available to anyone to download. A quick glance at the following songs tells me that Remora is a favorite among the Silber siblings, but we love each and every one of them in their own way!

Disc One:

1. John Costello - "Wires" (Vlor)
2. Dan Greunke - "Volcana" (Remora)
3. Marc Gartman - "Aura Lee" (Aarktica)
4. CJ Boyd - "Sagrado Corazon de Jesu (second attempt)" (Alan Sparhawk)
5. North Sea Navigator/Rose Kemp - "Edward" (Black Happy Day)
6. Promute - "3rd Day" (Clang Quartet)
7. Electric Bird Noise - "Six Ligetilys for Elena" (Peter Aldrich/Tara
Vanflower/Aarktica)
8. Dr. Reggae Heart & the Smiths of Steel - "Plastic Heart" (Plumerai)
9. The Torch Marauder's Grappling Hook - "The One I've Been Waiting For" (Remora)
10. Remora - "Sores" (Rollerball)
11. Vlor - "Slipsky" (Remora)
12. fornever - "A Presence in the Woods" (Lycia)
13. Annelies Monseré - "To the Sun" (Remora)
14. Jessica Bailiff - "You're Landlocked My Love" (Aarktica)

Disc Two:

1. The Infant Cycle - "New Machine - Ceiling Mix" (Vlor)
2. The Wades - "The One I've Been Waiting For" (Remora)
3. Plumerai - "Kill My Way Out of Here" (Remora)
4. Moral Crayfish - "Girls Hugging Trees" (Rollerball)
5. Recorded Home - "Song for Elena" (Aarktica)
6. Rivulets - "I Told Jesus Christ How Much I Love Her" (Remora)
7. Shaun Sandor - "Guilt Jersey" (Vlor)
8. The Upsidedown Stars - "The Separation of Church & Hate" (Clang Quartet)
9. Arbus - "Monster's Kiss" (Remora)
10. Peter Aldrich - "Nine Hours Later" (Lycia)
11. Origami Kalima - "Fanteguten" (Origami Arktika)
12. Verhören - "Angel Stalk (Anaaron)" (Remora)
13. Lauri des Marais - "Nostalgia" (Aarktica)
14. Miss Massive Snowflake - "The One I've Been Waiting For" (Remora)
15. Small Life Form - "Three Suns Rising Over My Black Lung" (constructed from samples from "Three Suns on the Rise" & "Black Lung" by Jamie Barnes)

Barry Gibb Moves into Johnny Cash Estate, House Spontaneously Combusts in Protest

The former home of Johnny Cash and wife June Carter Cash can be thought of as a musical Holy Land, if you will. The guestbook boasts names like Bob Dylan alongside various U.S. presidents (some more impressive than others) -- next-door-neighbor Roy Orbison most likely borrowed a cup of sugar every now and then. Described as "sanctuary and a fortress," Cash's estate witnessed much of his songwriting and may have acquired expensive taste in the process.

Imagine its concern when it found out it would soon be sheltering Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees. The thing was still in mourning, for Chrissakes. After a lot of soul-searching, the house probably realized that falsetto harmonies and lukewarm comeback tours were a fate worse than death, so it took its own life.

Neighbor Richard Sterban of the Oak Ridge Boys commented, “Maybe it’s the good Lord’s way to make sure that it was only Johnny’s house.” I feel that.

  

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