It's 2008, my friends, and this year's Bonnaroo is headlined by... Pearl Jam and Metallica? I guess! Scheduled to take place June 13-15 on what many people are reporting to be a 700-acre (I counted 689 acres) farm in Manchester, Tennessee, the 2008 Bonnaroo Arts and Music Festival will surely be a blast. How do I know? Why just check out these sorta kinda sometimes not really TMT-relevant acts scheduled to perform: Battles, The Fiery Furnaces, Jose Gonzalez, My Morning Jacket, Talib Kweli, Broken Social Scene, and Sigur Rós.

Then, of course, Robert Plant will be there performing, not in the much-rumored-about Led Zeppelin reunion, but with Alison Krauss. There will be a Led Zeppelin cover band called Lez Zeppelin though.

OH, AND VAMPIRE WEEKEND WILL BE THERE.

Songs against sex:

Destroyer Promotes Misogyny on Upcoming Tour; Women Welcome Under Strict Provisions

Wikipedia: Destroyer (pronounced "destroy her") is a hatred or strong prejudice against women. Those holding Destroyeristic beliefs can be of either sex. Although Destroyer is sometimes confused with misanthropy, the terms are not interchangeable, for the latter refers more generally to the hatred of humanity. A concept related to Destroyer is gynophobia, the fear of women, but not necessarily hatred of them. The obsolete Latin language term horror feminae (literally "fear of women) may be used as a synonym both for Destroyer and gynophobia.

Destroyer is considered by most feminist theories as an implicit motivation of political ideologies that justify and maintain the subordination of women to men. Such ideologies are typically called sexism, by analogy with racism and antisemitism. Destroyer is, therefore, often associated with anti-woman sexism, as misandry is associated with anti-man sexism.

Destroyer's anti-feminist concept album, Trouble In Dreams (working title was Women Suck), comes out March on Merge. Yep, March on Merge.

Sarah McLachlan:

* Colossal Yes

^ Andre Ethier

$ Devon Williams

Suicide Squeeze Starting 7-Inch Series, Amazon’s Shitty Selection

Check out Amazon's vinyl section here. I'm sure you saw the front page and cringed, or maybe you did a search and were disappointed. Either way, their shitty selection's not the point. Instead, Amazon's new vinyl push is yet another sign that vinyl is penetrating the mainstream again. Even corporate "indie"-style stores like Urban Outfitters sell turntables to hipsters. Shitty USB fuckin' devices with plastic platters, but turntables nonetheless.

But enough about the resurgence of popularity in collecting vinyl; let's talk about what to put on that turntable.

Suicide Squeeze, a Seattle label whose first release was a 7-inch and who has braggin' rights to say it has worked with Modest Mouse, Elliott Smith, and Minus the Bear, has just announced a new 7-inch series. The first artist is HEALTH, followed by Coathangers, School of Seven Bells, Black Moth Super Rainbow, and Dave Bazan (Pedro the Lion) sprinkled throughout the year. The Squeeze says it will be announcing more releases shortly.

Let's just hope you play them on a turntable that doesn't look like this.


7-inch release schedule:

- 02.19.08 - HEALTH “Perfect Skin” b/w “Perfect Skin Curses! Remix”
- 03.18.08 - The Coathangers “Shake Shake” b/w “Dreamboat”
- 04.08.08 - School of Seven Bells “Silent Grips” b/w “Used To” (Wire cover)
- 05.06.08 - Black Moth Super Rainbow Zodiac Girl” b/w TBA
- 11.04.08 - Dave Bazan - Songs TBA

Practical Advice, Brought to You by Tilly & the Wall’s Tour

Nebraska pop kids Tilly & the Wall seem like fun-loving, carefree people. They’ve got glockenspiels. They’ve got a designated tap dancer for their shows. They’re all great friends. But they write songs that, under the guise of sweet lovesick ditties, are actually a goldmine of practical help for everyday life. So, if this tour doesn’t pan out, they might have alluring futures in the home improvement or customer support industries:

- Problem #1: The ecstasy’s wearing off and you’re fucking BEAT.

Solution from “Nights of the Living Dead”: Pass out on your neighbor’s lawn.

- Problem #2: They didn’t have the first season of The Wire in at Blockbuster.

Solution from “Brave Day”: Predict and plan your funeral.

- Problem #3: Best friend drowning in the ocean.

Solution from “Reckless”: Get drunk and don’t worry about it.

All non-festival dates with Capgun Coup:

The dudes from The Pirate Bay go harder than anyone else in the game -- that much is undeniable. Still, they are not bulletproof. Piercing their near-invincibility (innate with being Swedish) is a new lawsuit at the hands of public prosecutors charging the torrent directory Dream Team with preparing and participating in copyright infringement. Like some sort of juiced-up Team America behemoth, the Pirate-hating coalition -- I guess you could call them ninjas -- consists of labels and studios, including Warner, MGM, Sony BMG, Columbia Pictures, and 20th Century Fox.

The defendants, then, are Pirate Bay operators Carl Lundstrom, Peter Sunde, Frederik Neij, and Gottfrid Svartholm Warg (not to be confused with Peter, Björn, or John). The charges reference only four computer games, nine movies, and 20 music files, but in this Red Scare/witch hunt hybrid, even "promoting other people's infringements of copyright laws" is potentially criminal. The Swedish prosecution team is demanding payment of 1.2 million Kronor, which I assume is a currency somewhere between Monopoly money and gold bricks, and if found guilty, the men could face up to two years in jail. Think prison in Sweden would be a cakewalk? Little known fact: HBO's Oz was based there.

Responding to all haters and potential lawsuits, the boys strike back on their site stating, "Only torrent files are saved at the server. That means no copyrighted and/or illegal material are stored by us. It is therefore not possible to hold the people behind The Pirate Bay responsible for the material that is being spread using the tracker. Any complaints from copyright and/or lobby organizations will be ridiculed and published at the site."

Apparently, 9,424,845 peers can, in fact, be wrong. John Kennedy, Chairman and CEO of the IFPI, said the Pirate Bay "managed to make Sweden, normally the most law abiding of EU countries, look like a piracy haven with intellectual property laws on a par with Russia," and went on to call the site "the international engine of illegal file-sharing." Argh, matey. We'll see who gets the booty.

Warning: The following is entirely fabricated, except for the parts about Grand Archives going on tour, John Stamos, and the ‘secret death knife.’

...

Last time we left The Indie and the Beautiful, Marty Crandall of The Shins was accused of domestic assault, the unpredictable (and foreign) Björk made her 37th attack on a reporter, and Vampire Weekend played "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" in a scene at the Peach Pit. This week, we follow Mat Brooke, former guitarist and vocalist of Carissa's Weird and former guitarist for Band of Horses.

While cruisin' the strip with club kids Brian Austin Green, Screech, and James St. James, Brooke and his new band Grand Archives have a run-in with Ben Bridwell, lead singer and guitarist of Band of Horses, at Club White People. Even though he once said he was cool with Mat leaving "his" band, Ben suddenly pushes Mat into an ice cream truck.

He calls Matt a "no good for nothin', sellin' out pussy." Mat's Grand Archives crew tries to break up the fight, but instead they have to rush Brian Austin Green to a hospital after he took too much ecstasy.

"Duder, I'm not going to fight you," says Mat as he suddenly punches Ben in the grease stain where his groin used to be.

[After a few other side stories, including Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jens Lekman's relationship on the rocks, we come back to the showdown outside of Club White People.]

John Stamos climbs out of a limo to break up the fight, just like in every other episode. Stamos says that it's not how many records you sell or how many floozies you sleep with (he says this shit every time), but what counts is how well we play music from our hearts. As Stamos starts to play his version of The Beach Boys' "Forever," Mat shouts at Screech to throw him the ‘secret death knife.’ "Screech, throw me the secret death knife!"

Mat catches the knife midair, and then in one singular motion he stabs Ben in the heart. "You're a ghost now, old friend," says Mat as he tosses the bloody knife back to Screech.

"Stamos, put a Forkcast in him, because this mutha is done."

...

Tonight's episode featured music from Grand Archives. You can buy their self-titled album February 19, released by Sub Pop, and you can see them
on tour at the following dates:

Next week on The Indie and the Beautiful:

- Is Cat Power pregnant with Wolf Parade's Babies?
- Will Times New Roman defuse the Baker Street bomb on time?
- Will Aesop Rock ask Devendra Banhart to marry him?
- Does anyone really give a shit?

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