Bruce Springsteen to Tour; Americans Love Glorified Poverty, Cars, and Sex; You to Probably Make Fun of ‘The Boss’ But to Similarly Love Cars and Sex, Me to Tell You to Live Your Life, Find Chicks

Oh hey you, my special ‘n’ fresh li’l bucket of indie love! Being the astute little music worm you are, you’re most likely scratching your head wondering what newsworthy value coverage of Bruce Springsteen has.

So I’ll tell you.

Most likely, you love making fun of sophomoric metaphor (i.e., Wrap your legs ‘round these velvet rims/ And strap your hands across my engines...).

But you probably really, seriously, honestly love cars and sex.

What’s so wrong about Brucey being so obvious, baby?

Get with the times*, gents. Chicks dig The Boss.

By the people, for the people, mmmmmmmm. One nation, under God, with liberty, and crappy ripped jeans for all.

Point is, Bruce Springsteen, once back from an upcoming tour in Europe and the UK, has announced North American tourdates with the E-Street Band come February.

Maybe if you went to these dates you’d reach self-actualization or something.

Cars. Sex. Seriously.