Bruce Springsteen Tours; Decides Not to Tour Exclusively in “Black Face,” As It’s Been Deemed Ultimately Offensive by Masses

Want to see Bruce Springsteen live? Too bad! I got the last ticket, making this following article utterly pointless. This guy I "pleasured" in an alley said he'd give me tickets for Springsteen or Billy Joel or Elton John. I chose the true American Idol.

Just yesterday, "The Godfather of Soul" released a new album, Working on a Dream (TMT Review) at the ripe age of 59. And now he'll be touring the U.S. with -- who else? -- Dick Cheney, who will be opening with a selection of "sex poems."

Even as the biggest fan I find all this "Working on a Dream" shit quite ironic considering his 1989 hit "Runnin' Down a Dream." Well, what is it Bruce? "Workin" or "Runnin' Down"? I guess I don't care, as long as he plays some of his true hits, like "Don't Do Me Like That," "Don't Come Around Here No More," and the testicular anthem "Free Fallin'."

Springsteen, with his beautiful blonde hair, will kick off the tour a month before the "actual" tour by playing the Superbowl, most likely rockin' out to an oldie like "Mary Jane's Last Dance" or "Learning to Fly." Get ready to toke up everyone: "The Gambler" is coming to town!

This just in!!! The E Street Band has been replaced with The Heartbreakers! Commence the tourdates listing!
02.01.09 - Tampa, FL - Super Bowl XLIII
04.01.09 - San Jose, CA - HP Pavilion at San Jose
04.03.09 - Glendale, CA - Jobing.com Center
04.05.09 - Austin, TX - Frank Erwin Center
04.07.09 - Tulsa, OK - BOK Center
04.08.09 - Houston, TX - Toyota Center
04.10.09 - Denver, CO - Pepsi Arena
04.15.09 - Los Angeles, CA - LA Memorial Sports Arena
04.21.09 - Boston, MA - TD Banknorth Garden
04.22.09 - Boston, MA - TD Banknorth Garden
04.24.09 - Hartford, CT - XL Center
04.26.09 - Atlanta, GA - Philips Arena
04.28.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Wachovia Spectrum
04.29.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Wachovia Spectrum
05.02.09 - Greensboro, NC - Greensboro Coliseum
05.04.09 - Hempstead, NY - Nassau Veterans Mem. Col

05.05.09 - Charlottesville, VA - John Paul Jones Arena
05.07.09 - Toronto, ONT - Air Canada Centre
05.08.09 - University Park, PA - Bryce Jordan Center Feb 2
05.11.09 - St. Paul, MN - Xcel Energy Center
05.12.09 - Chicago, IL - United Center
05.14.09 - Albany, NY - Times Union Center
05.15.09 - Hershey, PA - Hersheypark Stadium
05.18.09 - Washington, DC - Verizon Center
05.19.09 - Pittsburgh, PA - Mellon Arena
05.21.09 - E. Rutherford, NJ - Izod Center
05.23.09 - E. Rutherford, NJ - Izod Center
05.30.09 - Landgraaf, Holland - Pink Pop Festival
06.02.09 - Tampere, Finland - Ratinan Stadion
06.04.09 - Stockholm, Sweden - Stockholm Stadium
06.05.09 - Stockholm, Sweden - Stockholm Stadium
06.07.09 - Stockholm, Sweden - Stockholm Stadium
06.09.09 - Bergen, Norway - Koengen
06.10.09 - Bergen, Norway - Koengen
07.02.09 - Munich, Germany - Olympiastadion
07.03.09 - Frankfurt, Germany - Commerzbank Arena
07.05.09 - Vienna, Austria - Ernst Happel Stadion
07.08.09 - Herning, Denmark - Herning MCH
07.11.09 - Dublin, Ireland - RDS
07.16.09 - Carhaix, France - Festival des Vielles Charrues
07.19.09 - Rome, Italy - Stadio Olimpico
07.21.09 - Turino, Italy - Olimpico di Torino
07.23.09 - Udine, Italy - Stadio Friuli
07.26.09 - Bilbao, Spain - San Mames Stadium
07.28.09 - Benidorm, Spain - Estadio Municipal de Foietes
07.30.09 - Sevilla, Spain - La Cartuja Olympic Stadium
08.01.09 - Valladolid, Spain - Estadio Jose Zorrilla
08.02.09 - Santiago, Spain - Monte Del Gozo

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