Coming To A Grocery Store Near You: Barack Obama’s Martian Origins Exposed; What Your Man Really Wants In Bed; and… Bob Dylan In Conveniently-Sized Gift Card Form?

Think about this: when did In Rainbows come out? You wanna say “It was like six months ago,” right? Because all anyone still talks about is how the distribution method was supposedly fucking genius, right? Or maybe you never got sucked into the cesspool of exalting Thom Yorke for remembering that the internet exists, and you knew right after I asked that the album came out in 2007. Either way, we can all agree that everyone needs to get over the fact that technology affords us a shit-ton of ways to get music.

Apparently, however, Sony BMG isn’t on board with us. It basically goes like this: one day, one of those gift cards at a Safeway checkout stand got really fucked up and, feeling overconfident, managed to pick up a sexy iPod with inexplicably low self-esteem. Nine months later, she called him and said he was going to be a daddy. Their child’s name: Platinum MusicPass. Cute, huh? Unfortunately neither of them could afford a kid and decided to sell it to Sony BMG, which cloned it and is now distributing lots of Sony MusicPasses all over the Southeastern U.S. in Winn-Dixie supermarkets. $12.99 gets you a pass for a full-album download of high-quality MP3s (but are they FLAC rips?) plus bonus material in some instances. Highlights include Korn, Avril Lavigne, the previously mentioned Mr. Zimmerman, and a selection of decades-themed compilations.

Great job, Sony-BMG, you’re definitely not adding an unnecessary intermediary step between MP3 and consumer. And I’m pretty sure people are going to care about this one more than they did about Radiohead!

Ohmygod You Guys! Cutie Chad VanGaalen Just Announced Tourdates!

Seriously, guys, how cute is Chad VanGaalen?! He's like Zac Efron mixed with the older Jonas Brother, plus sort of like Penn Badgley from Gossip Girl! And hey, did you know he’s touring this fall!? It’s in Europe, but maybe if you ask your parents for an early Christmas present, and I ask my parents for an early present too, we can both get plane tickets and go! I’ve been listening to his newest album, Soft Airplane (TMT Review), soooo much that the other day my little brother walked by my room and was like “Ew, you’re still listening to Chad VanGAYlen?!” And I was like “SHUT THE FUCK UP, I LOVE HIM! Re-open Proposition 8 for California!” For realz.

Typing like a teenage girl is exhausting:

Ticketmaster To Drop Service Charges; The Economic Collapse Pretty Much Rocks

I am LOVING this economic collapse. I mean, I don’t want to rejoice over the pain and suffering of millions of Americans, because that would be horrible, but in all honesty, it’s brought us a lot of good: My mother just called me yesterday to tell me she paid under $2 per gallon of gas for the first time in forever; Barack Obama and his jolly gang of socialist/terrorist pals defeated the evil Sarah Palin and her 400-year-old, out-of-touch running mate; and, most importantly, everybody’s favorite super-evil-behemoth-man-got-you-down-corporate-ripoff-machine Ticketmaster is doing away with service charges! Rejoice! Collapse!

Okay, it's not totally doing away with the charges. According to new CEO Irving Azoff, Ticketmaster is “experimenting” with dropping convenience charges at certain events. Still, it’s progress. Ticketmaster is pretty famous with the plebes for tacking on all kinds of ridiculous surcharges and fees on top of every ticket sold. For years now, your $88.50 Bruce Springsteen ticket has magically jumped to $105, mainly because Ticketmaster is chock full of greedy bastards. The crazy thing is Ticketmaster KNEW everyone thought that, yet it CONTINUED with its crappy policies. But now, everything has collapsed. People can’t afford to pay an arm and a leg to see Neil Young, and if nobody buys tickets, that’s bad for Ticketmaster’s bottom line.

Just remember, it is not that Ticketmaster has suddenly decided that it wanted to be nice, it’s just that its stocks are down. And if the stocks are down, investors are unhappy. And then even Ticketmaster is sad. And we don’t want that, do we?

_Oxford Collapse’s_ Tour Is Beginning _today_, And It’s Going to be _immense_!

Yes, it's true! _Oxford Collapse_'s tour begins _today_! Hitting up cities like _Hamburg_ and _Bologna_, this tour should be _immense_. But despite how _immense_ it'll be, it's expected to be _uproarious_ too, because _hum-a-nuh-hum-a-nuh-hum-a-nuh!!!_.

_Oxford Collapse's_ latest album is _BITS_, which was released or is set to be released _August 5, 2008_ via _Sub Pop_. The funny part? Well, did you know that _your face looks weird_?? HAHA!

Anyway, here are the tourdates for _Oxford Collapse_, which again, starts _today_ and hits up cities like _Hamburg_ and _Bologna_. Just don't be surprised if _your face looks weird_, like I said in the second paragraph!

* The Spinto Band

KCRW’S Nic Harcourt Steps Down From Music Director Position; Oh No, Who Will Introduce Bands Like Coldplay To The Airwaves now?!

Although Nic Harcourt is an important, well-respected guy -- he was once called “The most influential DJ in America” by music writer Mark Weingarten -- he’s also famous for bringing some less-than-stellar artists to the KCRW airwaves, such as Coldplay, Damien Rice, Dido, and Norah Jones. Regardless of Harcourt’s questionable taste in music, though, it was announced via press release that he would be stepping down November 30 from the Music Director position he has held for the past 10 years with the Santa Monica, CA-based station. However, Harcourt will continue to be a KCRW DJ, hosting a three-hour show on Sundays from 6-9 PM.

“I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to come to work every day and be surrounded by creative and passionate people and I want to keep the connection alive on my Sunday show,” said Harcourt. “As a parent of two young children, I believe it’s time for me to explore new career opportunities and expand upon my other activities in movie, television, voice over work, advertising and the Internet.”

He then turned away, put his headphones on, and as Chris Martin’s croon brought him back to simpler times, Harcourt sighed, crying softly to himself.

RIP: Mitch Mitchell, Drummer for The Jimi Hendrix Experience

From YouTube:

From KGW.com:

The Jimi Hendrix Experience’s drummer Mitch Mitchell was found dead in a downtown Portland hotel Wednesday.

The Multnomah County Medical Examiner’s office said 62-year-old Mitch Mitchell likely died of natural causes. His body was found just after 3 a.m. at the Benson Hotel. [...]

Mitchell had been playing with the Experience Hendrix tour that just made a stop in Portland at the Schnitz last Friday.

Mitchell along with bass players Noel Redding and Billy Cox backed Hendrix for the generation defining sounds of his electrified psychedelic blues. The Experience played behind Hendrix at Woodstock and the Isle of Wight festivals in the late 1960s.

- Mitch Mitchell Wikipedia entry
- Mitch Mitchell MySpace

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