Fantômas to Tour Down Under. If They Come Back to You, They’re Yours. If They Don’t, They Never Were and Never Liked You Anyway.
By David Nadelle on 01-16-2009
Sadly, after being inundated with questions concerning the alleged consumption of his own piss for years, the subject rarely rears its purple head in Mike Patton’s interviews these days. Nope, it’s all about the music and pushing envelopes now with the ever-ready Patton. And not even piss envelopes either! Sigh. That’s good, I guess -- it’s always a smart move to shake off any persistent and lazy interview pigeonholes -- but us part-time fetishists and new age nutritionists need some urine monologues before taking the plunge. I know everyone else is sick of it, but I really have no problems beating this dead horse for ’nother decade or two. Unfortunately, fans of "real" music news win out this time around, because Patton’s always exciting Fantômas combo will be playing some dates in Australia and New Zealand and that is more important than any crass showering of golden affection. No shit.
Fantômas -- Patton, with, presumably/possibly, Buzz Osbourne, Trevor Dunn, and Dave Lombardo or Terry Bozzio or Dale Crover -- will participate in Australia’s and New Zealand’s six-city Big Day Out Festival starting January 16 in Auckland, New Zealand and will also play a few side shows opening for System of a Down’s Serg Tankian while there (who is also playing Big Day Out, along with Neil Young, TV on the Radio, Arctic Monkeys, Hot Chip, Lupe Fiasco, The Prodigy, The Ting Tings, and a bunch of acts freeze-frothing at the mouths to scoot down under during this harsh winter chill). The Fantômas shows will feature 2001’s The Director’s Cut heady homage album in its entirety. While Patton will steal the scene on a hundred albums this year, there is no concrete news on when the next Fantômas album is due. Rumor has it set for June, but all dates are tentative at this time. Piss or get off the pot, Fantômas!
What a waste:
01.16.09 - Auckland, New Zealand - Big Day Out 2009
01.18.09 - Gold Coast, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
01.21.09 - Brisbane, Australia - The Tivoli #
01.23.09 - Sydney, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
01.24.09 - Sydney, Australia - Enmore Theatre #
01.25.09 - Melbourne, Australia - The Palace #
01.26.09 - Melbourne, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
01.30.09 - Adelaide, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
02.01.09 - Perth, Australia - Big Day Out 2009
# Serg Tankian
Warner Head Lyor Cohen Discusses “Flexible Pricing” Using the Chewbacca Defense. WHY?
By Ze Pequeno on 01-16-2009
Last week, we reported to you two days late about Apple's revelatory news of changing their pricing model from a fixed 99¢ to a "flexible" model of 69¢, 99¢, and 129¢. To make up for it, we're going to report on the industry response early. Why? Because we're awesome like that.
For its upcoming issue, Billboard sat down with Warner Chairman/CEO Lyor Cohen to discuss recent developments, including Apple's announcement, as well as their pulling out of YouTube. On the matter of Apple, Cohen said the exact following:
I think it's important to make sure that the consumer has a choice and that we have the flexibility to give them an offer that makes sense. It's very hard to explain to Jimmy Page why "Stairway to Heaven" is 99 cents and Chumbawamba is the same price.
Eh, let's put this whole thing into context. So, Jimmy Page is the "consumer" in question? And he wants to buy "Stairway to Heaven," his own song, for 99¢? And he has beef that a pseudo-anarchist band sold themselves (not just any song, the entire band itself) for the same price? And he wants some form of "choice" and "flexibility," even though he could just choose not to buy either?
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Chewbacca Defense.
Head explosions aside, Cohen did make some sense in the interview. For example, his wording has suggested that the labels have shown little-to-no interest in changing the iTunes pricing model on the album level, something that was unclear from Apple's official announcement and press release. Further, he amazingly admitted to the old industry practice of packaging singles with albums that could be at best described as "shoddy" and at worst as "why did I spend $15 on one good song?"
Then there's this slightly mind-bending nugget:
I would love to get to a point that when T.I. has 175 million impressions, I can for a one-month period bring the single up to $2.99 as a bundle [with other content] or cut it out like I used to if I feel good about the album.
Putting aside the fact that he is describing a business model that is done in every other frickin' part of the world, 175 million people like T.I.? I'm... the only word I can think of at this point is "horror," so I'll go with... "stupefied."
Animal Collective Wildly Expand Tour… On The Wrong Continent!
By Mango Starr on 01-16-2009
My eyes slowly open. It's morning, and the sun is streaming in through gaps in the curtains. I'm on my back, with her head resting partly on the pillow and partly on my shoulder, her left arm across my chest, and her legs tangled with mine. I feel her soft breath against my skin, smelling her musky perfume. The smell immediately transports me back to last night -- the unforgettable moments of carnal lust, the moments of softness and intimacy that only flows between two lovers. I bury my face in her hair, which has now spread out over her pillow, marveling at its richness, its softness, remembering how she had teased me with the end of her braid last night, sending jolts of sensual feeling coursing through me.
I lightly trail my fingertips over her stomach, watching the sensitized skin quiver at my touch, still enthralled by her beauty. As our lips meet, her mouth slowly opens wider, allowing my tongue to sensually twist with hers. But what starts out as a gentle dueling of tongues soon turns into a frantic devouring of each other. Her eyes shoot wide open as her arms wrap around me, holding my head still as her mouth leaves mine, her big blue eyes full of passion and lust, taking little bites of my neck as she presses and rubs her body against me.
“You’re so beautiful Merriweather Post Pavilion,” I say. "I'm so lucky to have you."
She didn't say a word, but I know she felt the same, too
01.16.09 - Paris, FR - Bataclan
01.17.09 - Leuven, BE - Stuk
01.18.09 - Berlin, DE - Postbahnhof
01.20.09 - New York, NY - Grand Ballroom
01.21.09 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom ^
01.22.09 - Chicago, IL - Metro
01.23.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Fonda Theater #
01.24.09 - Los Angeles, CA - The Troubadour !
03.04.09 - Oslo, NO - Rockerfeller
03.05.09 - Lund, SE - Mejeriet
03.06.09 - Copenhagen, DK - Amager Bio
03.08.09 - Cologne, DE - Gloria
03.09.09 - Heidelberg, DE - Karlstorbahnhof
03.10.09 - Fribourg, CH - Fri-Son
03.11.09 - Lucerne, CH - Konzerthaus Schuur
03.12.09 - Florence, IT - Viper Room
03.13.09 - Rome, IT - Auditorium -Teatro Studio
03.14.09 - Milan, IT - Rolling Stone
03.16.09 - Strasbourg, FR - Laiterie
03.17.09 - Amsterdam, NL - Paradiso
03.18.09 - Brussels, BE - Ancienne Belgique
03.19.09 - Lille, FR - Aeronef
03.20.09 - Nantes, FR - Olympic
03.22.09 - Bristol, UK - The Trinity
03.23.09 - Nottingham, UK - Rescue Rooms
03.24.09 - London, UK - The Forum
03.25.09 - Leeds, UK - TJs
03.26.09 - Liverpool, UK - The Static Gallery
03.27.09 - Dublin, IE - The Tripod
03.28.09 - Belfast, UK - Stiff Kitten
09.12.09 - Monticello, NY - All Tomorrow's Parties
! Rings
^ Drawlings
# Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
The Decembrists Set to Release Hazards of Love, A Concept Album About A Shape-Shifting Animal – ’Nuff Said
By Scott Lauer on 01-15-2009
Colin Meloy and his INCREDIBLE band The Decemberists are back. After some odd missteps last year, like that singles collection (TMT News) and that Colin Meloy live album (TMT Review), the band is back with an honest to goodness follow-up to that wonderful creature of an album known as The Crane Wife (TMT Review). Coming off the high seas, The Decemberists will be releasing Hazards of Love March 24 on Capitol Records (home of that hotty that kissed a girl “and she liked it”).
Now for those of you familiar with The Decemberists, you should know to expect anything but “normal” from this crew -- and for those of you not familiar with The Decemberists? You’re dead to me. Living up to expectations, Hazards of Love will tout 17 new songs that apparently need to be listened to as a whole to get the picture *cough, concept album alert, cough, cough*. As mentioned in the headline, Hazards of Love features a tale of “a woman named Margaret who is ravaged by a shape-shifting animal; her lover, William; a forest queen; and a cold-blooded, lascivious rake, who recounts with spine-tingling ease how he came to be living so easy and free.” Awesome!
The album’s first single “The Rake Song” is available on their official site, but it will require some signing up to hear the tune. The album will also feature several guest musicians in “supporting roles,” including Lavender Diamond's Becky Stark and My Brightest Diamond's Shara Worden in the female roles, and My Morning Jacket's Jim James, Robyn Hitchcock, and The Spinanes' Rebecca Gates. Of course, The Decemberists will also tour in support of the album, with dates to be announced soon. Ambitious? I sure think so. Good? Most likely.
Hazards of Love
1. Prelude
2. The Hazards of Love 1 (The Prettiest Whistles Won’t Wrestle the Thistles Undone)
3. A Bower Scene
4. Won’t Want for Love (Margaret in the Taiga)
5. The Hazards of Love 2 (Wager All)
6. The Queen’s Approach
7. Isn’t it a Lovely Night?
8. The Wanting Comes in Waves / Repaid
9. An Interlude
10. The Rake’s Song
11. The Abduction of Margaret
12. The Queen’s Rebuke / The Crossing
13. Annan Water
14. Margaret in Captivity
15. The Hazards of Love 3 (Revenge!)
16. The Wanting Comes in Waves (Reprise)
17. The Hazards of Love 4 (The Drowned)
Acid Mothers Temple Tour, Takes North America Through the Looking Glass
By on 01-15-2009
The abridged version of the history of rock ‘n’ roll: America invented it, the British perfected it, the Japanese made it totally insane. Acid Mothers Temple, the Kawabata Makoto-helmed mountain of aural annihilation with the ever-changing lineup and name, is prepping a no-time-to-rest whirlwind tour of the United States (and three choice dates for our friendly neighbor to the north) throughout the month of April. Gongs, long beards, skull foraging, and screeching shamanistic jams are the least of what you can expect from psych rock's most immovable object. We're all in big trouble.
DC's Sonic Suicide Squad, who are the self-proclaimed "no God damn jazz band," are scheduled to support all dates. With all the driving, you have to wonder what a cop pulling over their freak wagon would think upon asking for "license and registration, please"... especially in Texas. Would a good, suspenseful movie scene that would make
04.03.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Echo
04.04.09 - San Francisco, CA - Bottom of the Hill
04.05.09 - Portland, OR - Holocene
04.06.09 - Seattle, WA - Sunset Tavern
04.07.08 - Vancouver, BC - Biltmore Cabaret
04.10.08 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry
04.11.09 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle
04.12.09 - Cleveland, OH - Grog Shop
04.13.09 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
04.14.09 - Toronto, ON - El Mocambo
04.15.09 - Montreal, QC - La Sala Rossa
04.16.09 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East Upstairs
04.17.09 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge
04.18.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda's
04.19.09 - Washington, DC - DC9
04.20.09 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
04.21.09 - Chapel Hill, NC - Local 506
04.22.09 - Atlanta- GA - The Earl
04.23.09 - Memphis, TN - Hi Tone Cafe
04.24.09 - Denton, TX - Hailey's
04.25.09 - Austin, TX - Emo's
04.27.09 - Tucson, AZ - Plush
04.28.09 - San Diego, CA - Casbah
