Cymbals Eat Guitars are touring with Cursive. This headline has no joke.

Cymbals Eat Guitars are touring with Cursive. This headline has no joke.

Story intro ideas - Cymbals Eat Guitars tour w/ Cursive - Nobodaddy

I.
Hey guys, big news! Cymbals Eat Guitars are touring the US this spring with Cursive! CEG are, of course, touring in support of last year’s Lenses Alien LP. Cursive, on the other hand, are touring in support of the year 1998.

II.
Indie-rock stalwarts Cymbals Eat Guitars will finally get a chance to see if their band name looks cool written in cursive this spring when…

III.
Oh boy, this is kinda embarassing. See, Cymbals Eat Guitars (whom you may recall dropped the OK NEW MUSIC’D Lenses Alien on Barsuk last year) had this big tour planned with everyone’s favorite irrelevant post-rockers Cursive this spring. But then, when they weren’t looking one day, their fat-ass cymbals went and ATE all of their guitars!

IV.
Being as they’re the only two bands in the known universe that are still using guitars to sell the purported epic nature inherent to the modern rock song (such as it is currently conceived), it makes — if you’ll begrudge me a quick pun — “sound sense” for Cymbals Eat Guitars and Cursive to ply their trades together in order to increase the the odds, as it were, of achieving the ordinarily desirous goal of credit’s triumph over debit; particularly in the case of Cymbals Eat Guitars, for whom the continued relevancy of their most recent compendium of compositions is of critical importance. Therefore, the two musical groups have agreed to converge for a tour this spring of both the contiguous United States and select Canadian cities. Fans of either group are hereby advised, pragmatically, semantically, or otherwise, to conflate their sense of personal (viz. social, aesthetic, historic, political, etc.) identification with one with that of the other, to the mutual betterment of all three parties touched upon herein.

Dates:

03.22.12 - Iowa City, IA - The Mill *
03.23.12 - Minneapolis, MN - The 400 Bar*
03.24.12 - Madison, WI - High Noon Saloon *
03.25.12 - Chicago, IL - Lincoln Hall *
03.26.12 - Champaign, IL - High Dive *
03.27.12 - Ann Arbor, MI - Blind Pig *
03.28.12 - Pittsburgh, PA - Mr. Smalls Theatre *
03.29.12 - Cleveland Heights, OH - Grog Shop *
03.30.12 - Buffalo, NY - Mohawk Place *
03.31.12 - Toronto, ON - The Legendary Horseshoe Tavern *
04.02.12 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East (Downstairs) *
04.03.12 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom *
04.04.12 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom *
04.05.12 - Philadelphia, PA - Union Transfer *
04.06.12 - Washington, DC - Black Cat *
04.07.12 - Raleigh, NC - Kings Barcade *
04.08.12 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl *
04.09.12 - St. Augustine, FL - Cafe Eleven *
04.10.12 - Orlando, FL - The Social *
04.11.12 - Tallahassee, FL - Club Downunder *
04.13.12 - Houston, TX - Fitzgerald’s Upstairs *
04.14.12 - Austin, TX - The Mohawk *
04.15.12 - Dallas, TX - Trees *
04.17.12 - Memphis, TN - Hi-Tone Cafe *
04.18.12 - Lexington, KY - Cosmic Charlies *
04.20.12 - St. Louis, MO - Off Broadway Nightclub *
04.21.12 - Columbia, MO - Mojo’s *

* Cursive, Conduits

• Cymbals Eat Guitars: http://lensesalien.tumblr.com
• Cursive: http://www.cursivearmy.com
• Barsuk: http://www.barsuk.com

The coolest fucking musical instrument you’ve heard of this year comes from (you guessed it) Japan; more specifically, Ghost’s Masaki Batoh

You’re about to learn a lot of cool things about Ghost frontman Masaki Batoh. It’s probably best to lay out the facts in bullet point form:

• In addition to fronting one of the great Japanese psych rock bands of our time and touring regularly, Batoh is a professional, working acupuncturist.
• Batoh commissioned a device called the Brain Pulse Music machine that essentially translates brain waves from the parietal and frontal lobes into sounds (and Batoh has mastered its use).
• Batoh has a new album, Brain Pulse Music coming out on Drag City February 28.
• Batoh is a badass who really cares about the people of his country.
• Watch this.

Brain Pulse Music (BPM) was originally meant to be a straightforward attempt to translate brain waves into sound for the purpose of creating music. Following the earthquake that hit Japan in March 2011, the project changed considerably. Once Batoh was able to return to his acupuncture practice, he noticed a distinct increase in the anxiety levels of his patients. Instead of just translating any old thoughts into sounds, Batoh’s mission shifted to translating the post-disaster mindset that he saw permeating society into music. By creating music out of the brain pulses within this framework, Batoh also sought to create a release valve to help relieve that newfound anxiety.

Here’s a little more info on the machine:

…[The BPM machine] consists of headgear and a motherboard. In order to see the immediate effects on the level of brain waves, a special set of goggles that project indicator lamps (synchronized with the motherboard) are worn during the performance of the recording session. The headgear is worn by the performer, which picks up brain waves from the parietal and frontal lobes and sends them, via radio waves, to the motherboard. The motherboard then converts the radio waves via a generator into wave pulses, which are then output as sound.

Needless to say, this is a very cool and intriguing idea that borders on science fiction. The intensity and emotion that the promotional video hints at is a good indicator of the heft that Batoh’s project brings to the table. While the tones that make up this music are electronic, the album finds Batoh releasing some of the most traditional folk-oriented music of his career, a reflection of the roots of where the electronic tones originated, the Japanese psyche.

Batoh is donating all proceeds from the album to the Japanese Red Cross in support of earthquake victims. If the concept at play here isn’t enough to get you to buy this, hopefully that should do it.

Brain Pulse Music tracklisting:

01. Kumano Codex 1: Shou (wind pipes) and Nambu Furin (bells)
02. Eye tracking test: BPM machines (2 machines at same time)
03. Kumano Codex 2: 9 people play Konchiki (small gong hit by dear horn
stick) walking in a circle
04. Kumano Codex 3: Kodaiko (small drum), Shakubyoshi, Hansho (Buddhist
gong), Kagura suzu (bells) and Shakuhachi (flute)
05. Kumano Codex 4: Odaiko (big drum) , Konchiki, Mokugyo (Buddhist wood
block), Hyoushi-gi (wood block) and Shakuhachi
06. Kumano Codex 5: Kin (Buddhist bells)
07. Aiki no Okami: BPM machines (2 machines), Plasma Thermin, Springer FX
and Norito (Shinto chant)

• Masaki Batoh: http://www.dragcity.com/artists/masaki-batoh
• Drag City: http://www.dragcity.com
• Japanese Red Cross: http://www.jrc.or.jp/english/index.html

The Chap aren’t really nobodies, but they’re releasing an album called We Are Nobody; I’m so confused

Quick confession: sometimes I zone out when listening to a mix full of new tracks. Don’t get me wrong — new music rules, and I always toss mixes into my iTunes library, but after listening to a track or two off someone else’s mix, my attention tends to wander. Hell, it’s wandering now; I’m thinking about how it’s supposed to snow this weekend and how I might be getting a cat soon and how much I could use a cup of coffee.

But anyway, mix CDs. That’s how I first heard “Fun And Interesting” by The Chap, a song off their 2008 7-inch of the same name. Last year, the slightly off-the-wall synth-pop group released We Are the Best, a greatest hits compilation, and on March 6, they’re set to release their seventh LP, We Are Nothing, on Lo/Loaf Records. Check out the video for “What Did We Do?”; it’s a charming and catchy track off the new album.

We Are Nobody tracklist:

01. Rhythm King
02. What Did We Do?
03. Better Place
04. Talk Back
05. We Are Nobody
06. Curtains
07. Painkiller
08. Running With Me
09. Hands Free
10. Look at the Girl
11. This Is Sick

• The Chap: http://www.thechap.org
• Lo Recordings: http://lorecordings.tumblr.com

CocoRosie want to play music to your silent movies, so draw on a mustache and fire up that camcorder

Austria’s Donau Festival has announced that their 2012 artist-in-residence, CocoRosie, will partner with Australian filmmaker Emma Freeman for a special live performance called Harmless Monster. The conceit is that you, the PEOPLE, can send in any video (without sound) that’s under five minutes, and if your video is chosen, CocoRosie will play a live score to it during the performance. The puppet masters in charge of selecting the film docket are Freeman (naturally) and Rupert Casady, one of the alter-egos of CocoRosie member Bianca Casady, who enjoys tarot cards and can see the future.

Without any additional constraints beyond the absence of sound, the possibilities of what you could send in are literally endless. CocoRosie tend to like unicorns, fake mustaches, and parasols, so if you can squeeze any of those items into your clip, you’ve probably got a winner on your hands. With Rupert on the judging panel, though, the final selections are technically already known…. If you think he’s conjured up a vision of your work, submissions should be sent using MediaFire to harmlessmonster.donau [at] gmail.com before March 30.

The festival goes from April 28 to May 5, with the Harmless Monsters concert taking place on the opening night. Other highlights on the bill include performances by Atlas Sound, Oneohtrix Point Never, and Squarepusher, among many others.

• Donau Festival: http://www.donaufestival.at
• CocoRosie: http://www.myspace.com/cocorosie

Sony bums people out by allegedly price-gouging Whitney Houston’s greatest hits album after her death, which sucks to hear because Sony was my hero

I know this is a contentious position to hold right now, but I think major labels might be… kinda shitty??? See, pretty much immediately following the death of singer Whitney Houston, the price of Ultimate Collection, her (you guessed it) ultimate collection of greatest hits, kinda-sorta-maybe, um, went up. Like significantly. Like from £4.99 to £7.99 (sayeth The Guardian), or roughly $8 to $12.

Yikes. Okay, so then, Whitney’s fans did what all civic-minded people do in 2012 and (you guessed it again!) complained on the internet. And on Sunday afternoon, the adults that run Sony responded, presumably by texting their nine-year-old children from the golf course and asking them to issue a statement because their parents were too drunk. The idea that these kids cooked up is that the price set on Ultimate Collection before Houston’s death was actually cheaper than it was s’possda be this whole time and that they were just finally (coincidentally) fixing it now. Yeesh. They also suggested that maybe when the record ascended iTunes’ sales chart in the hours following Houston’s death, the evil, fascist, artificially intelligent mainframe computer that runs iTunes raised the price itself automatically because of its popularity.

Yeah… uh, but then after that, I guess the parents came home, because Sony just admitted they raised the price. And then, after that, the price went back down to where it was because of spooky action at a distance. The end. OR IS IT???

• Sony: http://www.sony.com
• Whitney Houston: http://remembering.whitneyhouston.com

Montag offers up monthly single series on Carpark Records, but he’s STILL not my real dad

Canadian ambient artist Montag hasn’t put out any music under his own name in four years. He says he’s been working on other projects. Nice try, bozo, but I know the truth! You’ve been dating my mom! Hell, you even married my mom! Now you’re my step-dad! But you’re not my real dad. I don’t want to toss the ball and I don’t want to listen to your new singles series, Phases.

Sigh. Fine, mom. I’ll be nice to Montag (even if he’s totally not my real dad). Hey everybody, my step-dad has a singles series called Phases coming out through Carpark Records. On the last Tuesday of every month, he’ll put out a new single. The first of these is already out and it’s called “New Design.” That single’s B-side is a cover of new wave outfit The Spoons’ “Nova Heart.” If you’re interested in buying it and finding out more about Phases, check out Montag’s website for the series. While you’re at it, why not watch the “New Design” video? Because he’s not my dad, that’s why not!

• Montag: http://www.montag.ca
• Carpark: http://www.carparkrecords.com

[Photo: Jeremie Battaglia]

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