Dark Meat Pack Up Drumsticks and Wing Their Way Northward for Tender, Juicy Tour

You know something? Dark meat always gets a pretty bad wrap, man. Sure, you can get those giant turkey legs at County Fairs and such, but as beautiful of a sight as that is, it's generally more due to sheer portability and inherent "pirate factor" than anything else, I think. (n.b. I, myself, must confess to getting into many-a-pirate-themed sword fight with friends using the aforementioned giant legs of Turkey when I went to Disney World back in High School. And this was BEFORE Johnny Depp made pirates badass again)

And yeah, sports aficionados have been known to get-down on a plate or two of wings, while they're huddled around the ol' LCD flatscreen with friends and neighbors. But that hardly counts; those things are so covered in tangy marinades, chunky dressings, and tongue-fucking spices that the chicken is little more than a conduit for the heart-clogging condiments.

It's sad but true. Fact is, if given the choice, just about everybody everywhere would opt for the white meat when feasting on fatted fowls of any kind. The dark meat's usually the first thing to go whenever a turkey is carved up on Thanksgiving, and face it: if a burger joint sold a chicken patty sandwich made of dark meat (I think I had one from a Hardees in a rest stop once, actually), the patrons would be heading for the nearest Wendy's in a hurry. Dark meat usually just gets kind of a raw deal.

Until Now, that is.

Athens Georgia's own Dark Meat (a.k.a. Dark Meat Vomit Lasers Family Band/Galaxy... don't ask) are trying their damnedest to turn things around for the much-maligned legs and wings of the world. This 18-piece (or so) order of psych-fried, backwoods, secular-gospel howlers is gonna be representin' big time over the next few months, when they peck their way into just about every venue in America they could fit into in a single summer, spreading their down-home goodness all over a city near you to promote their recent raucous release, Univeral Indians (Orange Twin). 18+ musicians all on the road at once?? Man, it's gotta be a pain for all of them to exit when one guy's gotta go to the bathroom!

So, if you're not doing anything this summer (maybe because you're unemployable due to the fact you smoke as much these cats do?), feel free to grab one of those turkey legs from the County Fair, hold it up high, and march on over to the Dark Meat show. Who knows? Maybe you can use it as a weapon like I did and get some free merch... or arrested... either one, really...

Finger lickin' dates: