Dave Longstreth Realizes the Importance of Being The Dirty Projectors; Tours, Too

Dave Longstreth: You really love me, North America?

North America: Passionately!

DL: Darling! You don't know how happy you've made me.

NA: My own Dirty Projectors!

DL: But you don't really mean to say that you couldn't love me if my name wasn't The Dirty Projectors?

NA: But your name is The Dirty Projectors.

DL: Yes, I know it is. But supposing it was something else? Do you mean to say you couldn't love me then?

NA: [Glibly.] Ah! that is clearly a metaphysical speculation and like most metaphysical speculations has very little to do with the actual facts of life, as we know them.

DL: Personally, darling, to speak quite candidly, I don't much care about the name of The Dirty Projectors... I don't think the name suits me at all.

NA: It suits you perfectly. It is a divine name. It has a music of its own. It produces vibrations.

DL: Well, really, North America, I must say that I think there are lots of other much nicer names. I think Dave, for instance, is a charming name.

NA: Dave?... No, there is very little music in the name Dave, if any at all, indeed. It does not thrill. It produces absolutely no vibrations... I have known several Daves, and they all, without exception, were more than usually plain. Besides, Dave is a notorious domesticity for David! And I pity any woman who is married to a man called David. She would probably never be allowed to know the entrancing pleasure of a single moment's solitude. The only really safe name is The Dirty Projectors.

DL: North America, I must get christened at once -- I mean we must get married at once. There is no time to be lost.

The Dirty Projectors will marry North America at all of the following: