Deerhoof Subvert And Deconstruct Fundamentals Of Rock Music And Replace Them With Limitless Towers Of Sonic Beauty; Other Stuff, Too

I'm not going to lie; I love Deerhoof. I love loving Deerhoof. There are moments when I actually mistake love for Deerhoof. I'll be sitting at the kitchen table with a girl late at night, and the light from a car driving by will cast a certain glow on her face, and I'll suddenly gasp and whisper, "Hoof?" I know it's tres important to leave opinions out of straight news stories, but I don't care because this one is unabashedly gay. True story: One time I made a public announcement that I could no longer go on with my daily life until I owned every single sliver of music that Deerhoof has produced.

Then a friend sent me a link to this site, and I was faced with the decision to either eat my words or kill myself. Like I said, I love Deerhoof, so I thought it would be a pretty cool thing to do, and I jumped out a window with a suicide note taped on my back. Luckily, for embarrassment sake, my jump was successful, and the guy who found my body was moved to tears by my note. The note was actually a haiku about the drummer, and though it pains me to recall my own tragic end, for the sake of Deerhoof-love, I'm willing to present the poem.

Rearrange Greg's name
And the letters will spell out
E. E. Sugar Grin

The annoying thing is this: I forgot they haven't broken up yet! How was I supposed to keep on loving Deerhoof in an aluminum coffin? Which brings me to the reason why I'm standing here now, covered in fresh soil: Deerhoof are releasing a new album, Friend Opportunity, on January 23 through Kill Rock Stars and 5RC. The totally lovable tracklisting is this:

1. The Perfect Me
2. +81
3. Believe E.S.P.
4. The Galaxist
5. Choco Fight
6. Whither The Invisible Birds?
7. Cast Off Crown
8. Kidz Are So Small
9. Matchbook Seeks Maniac
10. Look Away

But it wasn't only the new album and the worms that made me claw my way out of the Earth. Deerhoof are also going to be recording a score next week for the film Dedication with composer Ed Shearmur at Hyperion Sound. The film was directed by Justin Theroux (CHARLIE'S ANGELS TWO) and stars people like Billy Crudup, Amy Sedaris, and Mandy Moore. And me, as Deerhoof Lover #1.

But it wasn't only the new film score and the claustrophobia that made me pine for sweet, sweet oxygen. The North Haven Community School in North Haven, Maine will be putting on a twice-in-a-lifetime performance on October 23 and 24 at Waterman's Community Center. Students from grades K-12 will be participating in a ballet based on Deerhoof's 2004 concept album, Milk Man. And if that isn't lovable enough (it is), most of the dancers will be kids from grades 3-8. I will be playing the Milk Man.

But it wasn't only third-grade children and the decay that made me roll the boulder away from my tomb. Deerhoof are in the midst of a tour with some other bands that, though unlovable, still get me feeling pretty darn infatuated:

09.13.06 - Atlanta, GA - Tabernacle *
09.15.06 - Oklahoma City, OK - Zoo Amphitheatre *
09.24.06 - New York, NY - Hammerstein Ballroom *
10.18.06 - Providence, RI - Lupo's %
10.19.06 - New Haven, CT - Toad's Palace %
10.20.06 - ???TBA????? %
10.26.06 - Columbus, OH - Wexner Center ^
10.27.06 - Pittsburgh, PA - Andy Warhol Museum ^
10.28.06 - Buffalo, NY - Showplace Theater %^
10.30.06 - Toronto, ON - Opera House %
10.31.06 - Montreal, QC - Le Tulipe %
11.01.06 - Burlington, VT - Higher Ground %
11.03.06 - New York, NY - Hiro Ballroom (KRS CMJ Showcase) &
11.11.06 - San Francisco, CA - Bill Graham Civic Auditorium (RIOTTT!) #
12.08.06 - Somerset, England - Butlins Holiday Resort (ATP's Nightmare
Before Christmas) @

* w/ The Flaming Lips
% w/ The Fiery Furnaces
^ w/ Fog
& w/ Erase Errata and Excepter
# w/ The Wrens, Sage Francis, and Saul Williams
@ w/ EVERYONE AWESOME EVER

But it wasn't only

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