Did You Hear That Willie Nelson Got Hit By Car? He Was Playing “On the Road Again.” LOL. No, But Seriously, He Got Arrested For Possession.

Is this even news? Willie Nelson with marijuana? Possibly the least shocking story of 2006. The only part of the story that could be considered surprising is the fact that he was able to fit all of his pot on to one bus. The arrest happened to Willie and four others in Louisiana while en route to play a tribute show for what would have been Hank Williams' 85th birthday. The BioWillie-fueled tour bus was pulled over and subsequently investigated after the officer said he "noticed the strong odor of marijuana" when talking to the driver.

So I guess the only surprising thing about this whole ordeal is, well, that the arrest happened at all. It's not like anyone who had ever heard of Willie Nelson didn't know that he dabbled in a bit of drugs here and there. Look at the signs. For me, it was somewhere between watching him host the first annual NORML golf tournament in 2005 (an organization for which he serves on the board) and seeing giant marijuana leaf on the cover of his 2005 album Countryman that I first had my suspicions. "Perhaps this guy smokes pot every once in a while," I think is what I said to myself. For others it might have been the article about him in High Times or the popular legend that he once smoked on the roof of the White House during the Carter years. To each their own.

Furthermore, I am (like Willie) a native resident of Texas, and I can all but guarantee you that this shit would never have gone down in our home state. It's a peculiar situation: the better portion of the state is made up of people who hate long-haired men, hate liberals, hate environmentalists, and above all, hate hippies. But for whatever reason, these fuckers are crazy about Willie Nelson. The man is a legend. Our neighbors to the east, apparently, are not as sympathetic. Maybe they would have been more pleased had they ran into New Orleans native Lil' Romeo? Thankfully, Willie did manage to get off without felony charges, as he and his crew (average age: 62) claimed that all of the over-one-and-a-half-pounds of pot and three ounces of mushrooms was for personal use, and not to be sold.

I guess the question I've been trying to ask in this article is, "why now?" Nelson, now 73, has been an avid drug enthusiast for decades, and during that time has made little-to-no effort to conceal it. To me, the idea of a Willie forced to live out his golden years drug-free is on par with telling Harry Potter to go the rest of his Hogwarts career without any cocaine (just wait for book seven). All we can do is hope that, for the common good, neither of these situations actually take place. But personally, I'm not worried; I have confidence that the U.S. legal system will do its job, and Willie will be able to use his celebrity status to return to his old ways after just a few hours of community service.

Working Class People Grab their Parts and Labor for their “More Rock, Less Money” Tour

Parts and Labor are one of the loudest bands to see live. FACT: when you see smaller, "underground" bands in smaller, "underground" venues, everything is so much louder. OPINION: mainly, it's because the bands don't give a shit or it's part of their music-playing philosophy. FACT: or the venue is so small it doesn't even have a stage, so that puts you that much closer to the amplifiers, which are turned up to the same volume as if you were at a stadium concert. OPINION: in particular with Parts and Labor, their drummer beats the shit out of his drums. FACT: it's amazing.

Anyway, Parts and Labor, from Brooklyn, New York, having just toured throughout England during July, will continue on their tour around the world (i.e., Western Europe). The trio released a new CD, titled Stay Afraid, earlier this year and are soon going to release a new 12-inch EP which, according to their website, is "the three of [them] on electronics doing some beat-heavy, home-recorded experiments." FACT: I'm pretty excited, guys. OPINION: No, I'm not being sarcastic. FACT: I'm genuinely pumped. I saw these guys live and I got to talk with them! FACT: It's a shame that you have no idea if I'm being sarcastic or not because this medium doesn't allow for that type of interaction.

Regardless, check Parts and Labor out if you want to see a good show. They're pretty catchy and you might even be able to bring your non-music obsessed friends with you. OPINION: They might even have fun.

Pirates, zombies, and ninjas, what?:

10.06.06 – Antwerpen, Belgium – Trix
10.07.06 – Brussels, Belgium – Botanique ^_^
10.08.06 – Amsterdam, Netherlands – Paradiso ^_^
10.10.06 – Leipzig, Germany – Frueh Auf *
10.11.06 – Bielefeld, Germany – AJZ *
10.13.06 – Malmo, Sweden – Pink Flag at Inkonst
10.14.06 – Stockholm, Sweden – Fritz's Corner ~_^
10.15.06 – Dresden, Germany – Groovestation
10.16.06 – Berlin, Germany – Magnet Club ~_^
10.17.06 – Stuttgart, Germany – Schocken ~_^
10.18.06 – Lausanne, Switzerland – Le Romandie ~_^
10.19.06 – Basel, Switzerland – Das Schiff ~_^
10.20.06 - Urbino, Italy - Makkia
10.21.06 - Pistoia, Italy - Melos
10.23.06 - Paris, France - Le Chiquito
10.24.06 - Brixton, UK - Windmill
10.27.06 - London, UK - The Fly
10.28.06 – Oxford, UK – Zodiac
10.29.06 – Lancaster, UK – The Yorkshire House
10.30.06 – Bristol, UK – Thelka
11.03.06 – New York, NY – Tonic +

^_^ w/ I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness and Hidden Cameras
* w/ Japanther and The Good Good
~_^ w/ I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
+ w/ Jagjaguwar/Brah Showcase

Working Class People Grab their Parts and Labor for their “More Rock, Less Money” Tour

Parts and Labor are one of the loudest bands to see live. FACT: when you see smaller, "underground" bands in smaller, "underground" venues, everything is so much louder. OPINION: mainly, it's because the bands don't give a shit or it's part of their music-playing philosophy. FACT: or the venue is so small it doesn't even have a stage, so that puts you that much closer to the amplifiers, which are turned up to the same volume as if you were at a stadium concert. OPINION: in particular with Parts and Labor, their drummer beats the shit out of his drums. FACT: it's amazing.

Anyway, Parts and Labor, from Brooklyn, New York, having just toured throughout England during July, will continue on their tour around the world (i.e., Western Europe). The trio released a new CD, titled Stay Afraid, earlier this year and are soon going to release a new 12-inch EP which, according to their website, is "the three of [them] on electronics doing some beat-heavy, home-recorded experiments." FACT: I'm pretty excited, guys. OPINION: No, I'm not being sarcastic. FACT: I'm genuinely pumped. I saw these guys live and I got to talk with them! FACT: It's a shame that you have no idea if I'm being sarcastic or not because this medium doesn't allow for that type of interaction.

Regardless, check Parts and Labor out if you want to see a good show. They're pretty catchy and you might even be able to bring your non-music obsessed friends with you. OPINION: They might even have fun.

Pirates, zombies, and ninjas, what?:

10.06.06 – Antwerpen, Belgium – Trix
10.07.06 – Brussels, Belgium – Botanique ^_^
10.08.06 – Amsterdam, Netherlands – Paradiso ^_^
10.10.06 – Leipzig, Germany – Frueh Auf *
10.11.06 – Bielefeld, Germany – AJZ *
10.13.06 – Malmo, Sweden – Pink Flag at Inkonst
10.14.06 – Stockholm, Sweden – Fritz's Corner ~_^
10.15.06 – Dresden, Germany – Groovestation
10.16.06 – Berlin, Germany – Magnet Club ~_^
10.17.06 – Stuttgart, Germany – Schocken ~_^
10.18.06 – Lausanne, Switzerland – Le Romandie ~_^
10.19.06 – Basel, Switzerland – Das Schiff ~_^
10.20.06 - Urbino, Italy - Makkia
10.21.06 - Pistoia, Italy - Melos
10.23.06 - Paris, France - Le Chiquito
10.24.06 - Brixton, UK - Windmill
10.27.06 - London, UK - The Fly
10.28.06 – Oxford, UK – Zodiac
10.29.06 – Lancaster, UK – The Yorkshire House
10.30.06 – Bristol, UK – Thelka
11.03.06 – New York, NY – Tonic +

^_^ w/ I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness and Hidden Cameras
* w/ Japanther and The Good Good
~_^ w/ I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
+ w/ Jagjaguwar/Brah Showcase

If you thought The Scissor Sisters were nothing but totally superficial fame-whores in sequins and feathers, it turns out you're, well... sort of wrong. I'm sure I'm as surprised to report as you are to read that the queertastic post-disco (watch me make up genres on the fly like it ain't no thang) group have taken Trans World to task. The Scissor Sisters apparently denounced Trans World subsidiary FYE's ludicrously high pricing at the recent NARM (National Association of Recording Merchandisers) conference. I admit it — I like this band. They're not even a guilty pleasure. I listen to them and dance around in my pajamas, okay? Are you happy?? Anyway, um... I guess my point was that even though, unlike many of you out there, I have absolutely no problem with The Scissor Sisters, I'm still surprised that they care at all about something remotely political.

Anyway, after the band's disparaging comments about FYE's high pricing, the corporation, which owns enough chain music and video retailers to make your head spin, has decided it's going to boycott The Scissor Sisters. So if you want a copy of the band's new album, Ta Dah! (Universal), I would suggest avoiding just about every music store chain you can possibly imagine. I mean, I generally suggest that anyway, but this time, if you go to look for the new Scissor Sisters album, it's just not going to be there. And if you go there in search of that rare Nurse With Wound limited-edition, import-only LP... well, you're just foolish.

By the way — if you're in New England, you're not only freezing cold right now, you're in luck... if you like The Scissor Sisters, anyway. Coolfer reports that Mike Deese, of the imitable northeastern music mini-chain Newbury Comics, has vowed to step up promotion of Ta Dah! by giving the album plenty of in-store play. And just in case you don't believe that this guy is as a big of a music nerd as you are, he offers the following quote: "This reminds me of when Strawberries pulled Hüsker Dü for a YEAR for doing a Newbury in-store 20 years ago." God, I loved Newbury Comics when I was in high school. Can I just say that? I'm not even on their payroll, but they can totally send me free shit if they feel like it. Just sayin'.

Trans World contraband tracklisting:

1. I Don't Feel Like Dancin'
2. She's My Man
3. I Can't Decide
4. Lights
5. Land of a Thousand Words
6. Intermission
7. Kiss You Off
8. Ooh
9. Paul McCartney
10. The Other Side
11. Might Tell You Tonight
12. Everybody Wants the Same Thing

Warner Music Group and YouTube Meet in a L.A. Restroom, Accidentally Urinate Side-By-Side, YouTube Slips and Pisses on Warner’s Tight Jeans, Entices a No-Holds-Barred Game of Swords, Warner Wins with a Move It Learned from R. Kelly, The Two Shake Hands, and a Licensing Deal is Made

If you are anything like me, you like giving away as much of your money as you can. Warner Bros. wants to make my dreams, as well as everyone else's, come true by making sure they cash-in on the cash cow that is YouTube. In this instance, YouTube is more like a big hunk of cheese and Warner Music a giant flesh-eating rat. That wasn't really meant to be metaphorical. I'm just playing a game of Mouse Trap with my Algerian friends, and it's hard to keep my mind in one place.

The news does concern me greatly, though, which I will get to in a minute. In case you didn't hear, last Monday WMG made an agreement with YouTube to distribute any artist-related material. Under this "sweet-ass deal," Warner and YouTube will share revenue from all of the goofy advertising. Yes, it's like consensual sex. The only one that gets violated in this story is the avid YouTuber.

This isn't just a pat on the ass for YouTube, but also good news for WMG. Since WMG is the first to take part in the user-generated content of YouTube, there will most likely be more commercial distribution from other companies. Recently, entertainment moguls all over have been biting their nails over the large amount of copyrighted material that appears on websites like YouTube without permission or authorization.

By the end of the year, YouTube plans to use an advanced content identification and a royalty reporting system. This will help to identify the videos and help manage payments to the record labels. Yes, you heard that right. It's time to pay up! You were going to spend your $175 paycheck from McDonald's on a new cock ring, but now some of that cash is going to help support our poor and dying entertainers.

As I said before, this news does concern me somewhat, due to the fact that for a year-and-a-half now my dad and I have been making our own personal YouTube videos. Every Saturday evening, I usually drive up to see my dad. When I walk inside his trailer, he usually has the lighting set just right, and the camera is always ready to go. After a few shots and a couple of games of ultimate arm wrestling, we usually take our clothes off. We just stay in our boxers, of course! Don't get the wrong idea, you pervs!

So my dad and I are practically butt naked. I slip in my latest Enya mix, and we just let it go. Sometimes it turns into 10 minutes of interpretive dance during "Storms in Africa," and sometimes it becomes a motherfuckin' crump party! The trouble is that with this milestone agreement between douches one and two, my dad and I can no longer make our videos unless Enya gets her royalties. We don't have the money for this hoo-ha since we are both saving up for the "surgery." Thanks a lot guys!

Well, I suppose on the bright side I will now get more of Buckethead, Phil Collins, Lupe Fiasco, and Phillip Glass all together at once. Plus I am starting to get bored with all the lonelygirl15 drama. Would it really hurt to use a little Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch?

We’re Only Making Television Plans for Nigel Godrich… Oooh-oooh. Nigel Just Needs This Helping Hand… From Beck, and Thom Yorke, and White Stripes… Oooh-oooh

A friend of mine gets a lot of stick for his endless bitching. It's mostly about how he thinks jackoff comedian Tom Green stole his ideas and potential career by performing like-minded shtick while hosting a community cable TV show years and years ago. This friend believes that it should have been he, not Green, to use this early foray into the entertainment biz as a springboard to MTV fame (read: insignificance), in and out of Drew Barrymore's pants, and into tens of homes via the Freddy Got Fingered vid rental. Now, it looks like it may be my turn to experience a similar fate and spend my future days wandering from tavern to dive telling anyone I make eye contact with that "I could've really been someone if it wasn't for...

...Nigel Godrich!" Now, I've never claimed to have m(any) original ideas, but creating a show for local and traveling-through-town bands to perform on was one of them. I was thinking of financing the whole shebang using the two-pronged method of whoring myself out and selling my '92 Honda Accord for $800.00. So yeah, basically I'm assuming that $804.27 would be enough to produce a show chock full o' quality and class. Surely empires have been built on less? Imagine my surprise when stud producer Godrich (Radiohead, Beck, R.E.M.) suddenly announced that he has mind-snatched my idea (allegedly) and has created From the Basement for British television (definitely), a show that will boast hot-piss bands playing their hot-piss tunes. He really should think about launching a podcast of the shows als... damn you Godrich, sir!

Episode one will feature the alterna-wet dream of The White Stripes, Thom Yorke, and Four Tet. The second will have Beck and Jamie Lidell. After that, it's anyone's guess as to which way From the Basement will go. Could it be more sets by Godrich's friends and superstars, or could it be appearances by Kid (sans Play) and a reunited Creed? C'mon god of revenge...

The much-traveled quote reported by top trendsetters Rolling Stone is this one: "I'm interested in the visual arts side of things, and somehow integrating that into what records have become," Godrich said. "People don't buy albums so much because, as a medium, it's changing, so I'm just trying to figure out what it's changing into, and chasing after that." Since when does "chasing" mean "stealing," G-rich? Huh, punk? The only differences between your wannabe American Bandstand and my ticket to lotusland are a well thought-out business plan, a high-gloss and fully-equipped set, the financial backing, and a talented producer/host and guests!

Unfortunately for hopeful participants who like nothing more than to yelp like jackasses and lose their shit on teevee, the show will have visual accompaniment to the artists in lieu of a traditional audience. This is in keeping with Godrich's recent leanings towards changing the music industry described above and with much of what he has been planning with Beck on his forthcoming album project, The Information. That's the one with a full complement of simpleton greenscreen videos and fuzzy felt interactive cover art or whatever the fuck they're foisting on the braying public next month.