Dinosaur Jr To Show Up For Shows On A Fall-Touring Tour

I have it from a reliable source that the recent Smashing Pumpkins "reunion" shows have been attended not by nostalgia-addled 30 & 40-somethings looking to relive the experiences of Lollapalooza '94 and of trying to decide whether or not going goth would be a good stylistic route (but ultimately deciding it was too weird), but by younger people who are as familiar, if not more so, with the group's more recent recorded output than they are with "Rhinoceros" or "Rocket."

If this is true, then it could be possible that, like Billy C. and the Wu-Tang Clan, Dinosaur Jr may also be for the children. The attendees of the band's upcoming fall tour, which starts November 20 in Millvale, PA, could look more like they belong on a college campus instead of a Mike Watt convention (where everyone claims to have "drove up from Pedro"). That, plus the addition of new tunes from the band's 2007 LP, Beyond (Fat Possum), would be a refreshing change from the usual reunion shows.

Tourdates:

* Shonen Knife, Juilet Dagger

Top 10 Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen Movies; Tegan and Sara Tour

Get it? Twins.
10. Winning London (2001)

The prequel to losing weight.
9. Holiday In The Sun (2001)

And then Weezer covered their song -- Rivers Cuomo, how ironic!
8. How The West Was Fun (1994)

It wasn't. Ever.
7. Our Lips Are Sealed (2000)

The twins' own "Stop Snitchin" campaign.
6. It Takes Two (1995)

They were actually triplets before Kirstie Alley had one for lunch.
5. When In Rome (2002)

Snort blow like the Romans do.
4. To Grandmother's House We Go (1992)
"Over the river and through the woods..."? Like they'd walk. Good thing Land Rovers have four-wheel drive.
3. Passport To Paris (1999)

Where even Mary-Kate looked fat.
2. Double, Double, Toil and Trouble (1993)

Fire burn and crack rock bubble.

1. Switching Goal (1999)

Not to be confused with the 2001 porno, Switching Poles.

"Brother For Sale" or "The Con"? You decide:

Method Man DVD Released… Finally!

This is great! I can't believe it took this long for them to release the first (only) season of Fox's brilliant Method & Red. I still don't know how Fox pulled the plug on this one. First Method & Red, then Arrested Development -- when is this network going to learn that a water cooler filled with malt liquor is hilarious? Those two were truly "puttin' the URBAN in SUBURBAN." I thought they should have gotten two seasons out of that catch phrase alone.

Well, at least now the poignant social commentary of Johnny Blaze and Redman will be preserved on DVD for future generations. Now, if they'd just get to work on putting out Parker Lewis Can't Lose.

What the...

Oh bother!

This isn't the first season of Method & Red at all.

My fault.

This is Method Man: Live from the Sunset Strip due out October 30, 2007. I guess the first live DVD from the Wu-Tang rapper is still good news, but it's not a sitcom that sticks it to those white-bread neighbors. According to MVD Entertainment Group, the 72-minute live DVD will include "Da Rockwilder," "Ice Cream," "Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nothing Ta F' Wit," and many more.

Newly Label-Free Morrissey Announces Plans for 2008 Studio Album, Prances into My Heart

I suffer from terrible nightmares. Every night before I drift off to sleep, I attempt to subvert these bad dreams by meditating on happy, soothing subjects. Sometimes I imagine catching up with old friends at a favorite bar. Sometimes I imagine a relaxing vacation in France. And sometimes I imagine cavorting through the streets of fin-de-siecle, decadent London with Morrissey.

It wouldn’t matter that I’m a girl in a dapper gentlemen’s world. Oh no! We would be just two fops out for a jolly good night on the town. We’d while away the evening in red-walled opium dens, flirting with rosy-cheeked ladies of the night, and sipping absinthe in the gilded halls of the Café Royal. Then later on, in the early hours of the morning, we’d retire to Morrissey’s personal chambers to discuss his upcoming studio album. The pale moonlight would linger over the satin folds of Morrissey’s black smoking jacket, and he would lean in close and tell me about his plans for 2008. He would tell me — just as he told Billboard earlier this month — about his decision to enter the studio once he finishes touring in early November. He would explain how he has already written the album and is performing new songs like "I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris," "All You Need Is Me," "That's How People Grow Up," and "One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell" on his current North American tour.

I would nod appreciatively, lulled by the smooth sounds emanating from the Victrola. As I slipped into a sweet, undisturbed sleep, Morrissey would whisper his plans for a September 2008 release date. “September?” I would mumble dreamily. “That’s the month of my birthday!” Morrissey would look at me knowingly before dimming the gas lamp and quietly leaving the room. Because, even though Morrissey is a suave fellow, living beholden to no label after his deal with Sanctuary Records expired and currently mulling over a possible deal with Warner Brothers, he is at heart a gentleman and an artist.

Dream a little dream of Morrissey:

Speak Squeak Creak: Melt-Banana Tour 13,000 Miles at Light Velocity

STORY: [4 across]-[6 across] are going on [5 down]. Their new album, [3 down] [1 down], was released back in [2 across]. Where the fuck's our review??

(Hover your cursor over the crossword for 5 seconds for the answers to this difficulty-level-5 puzzle.)

Battles Tour, Release EP, Join Mile-High Club

Two months ago on a plane to New York, I was leafing through the in-flight entertainment guide hoping a better movie would play on the trip back (success if you call Lucky You good, and if you do, then I strongly disagree). In the back of the guide were playlists for the in-flight radio stations. One station was called "The Buzz" and sported the oh-so-enticing tagline "Open your ears to uncharted musical territory!" I assumed American Airlines thinks uncharted musical territory is "Hey There Delilah" -- and it does -- so I was confused to discover Battles' "Atlas" on the same station. Well, confused is an understatement; I freaked out, and the cat sitting on the woman next to me started going crazy. Speaking of which, what was a fucking CAT doing on a plane? Anyway, I spent the rest of the five hours wondering if the average flyer would actually be compelled to purchase Battles' excellent debut Mirrored (TMT Review). My conclusion? Doubtful.

Look for the creepy guy who was sitting next to you in the hotel lobby:

  

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