Dirty Projectors are so hot right now that fans are playing leaked copies of their forthcoming album Bitte Orca to warm up their buttermilk biscuits. Hell, the band's so hot they're scarfing down your buttermilk biscuits right now, and you ain't complaining! But wait: you don't have a CD player? Or a record player? Or an MP3 player? Or a computer? Don't worry, you cute little thing you: DP are droppin' a limited-edition, ultra-super-special TINY MIX TAPE version of Bitte Orca. You can pre-order it at Domino NOW. Like the LP, the cassette version will come with 320kbps MP3s, and it costs $9.99. Not a bad deal. Check out the beautiful tape:

Alright, that's it. Now, readers, can someone please bootleg the DP/Björk show this Friday (TMT News) and send it to me? I'd also appreciate it if someone bought me the new album. Mango's broke!!

Expanded tourdates:
05.08.09 - New York, NY - Housing Works Bookstore *
05.22.09 - Oakland, CA - Fox Theater #
05.23.09 - Portland, OR - Roseland Theatre #
05.25.09 - Vancouver, BC - Malkin Bowl at Stanley Park #
05.27.09 - Edmonton, AB - Edmonton Event Centre #
05.28.09 - Calgary, AB - Macewan Hall #
05.29.09 - Saskatoon, SK - Louis Pub #
05.30.09 - Winnipeg, MB - Burton Cummings Theatre #
06.02.09 - Toronto, ON - Sound Academy #
06.03.09 - Montreal, Quebec - Metropolis #
06.04.09 - Boston, MA - Boston House Of Blues #
06.05.09 - New York,NY - Central Park Summerstage #
06.06.09 - Baltimore, MD - Metro Gallery #
06.08.09 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club #
06.09.09 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club #
06.10.09 - Richmond, VA - The National #
06.11.09 - Charlotte, NC - Amos Southend #
06.17.09 - Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church
06.18.09 - Boston, MA - Somerville Theatre
06.19.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Williamsburg Waterfront
06.21.09 - Columbus, OH - Wexner Center For The Arts
06.22.09 - Chicago, IL - Millenium Park
07.03.09 - Seattle, WA - Chop Suey
07.04.09 - Portland, OR - Holocene
07.07.09 - San Francisco, CA - The Independent
07.08.09 - West Hollywood, CA - Troubadour

* Björk

# TV on the Radio

Photo: [Neate Photos]

Get Your Heart Pumping for a New Circulatory System Album!

Your doctor has probably told you recently that you need to exercise more. But I bet you’re at least somewhat like me and hate running. Who wants to do that? Luckily I discovered a really good way to get my heart pumping: listening to Circulatory System! They’re coming out with a new album, Signal Morning, August 4 through Cloud Recordings. It took the band -- which includes all the members of The Olivia Tremor Control as well as Jeff Mangum and Julian Koster of Neutral Milk Hotel -- seven-and-a-half years to make it, so you know it’s got some crazy new formula for achieving their secret plan of a healthier listening population. Their circulatory systems are so healthy they’re made of steel, and if you listen to this album enough, yours might be too.

Okay, so maybe Signal Morning won’t lower your cholesterol or anything (I just really, really hate running), but the band does plan to tour extensively in support of their new material. That is definitely something to get excited about.

Signal Morning tracklisting:

1. Woodpecker Greeting Worker Ant
2. Rocks and Stones
3. This Morning (We Remembered Everything)
4. Tiny Concerts
5. Electronic Diversion
6. Overjoyed
7. The Breathing Universe
8. New from the Heavenly Loom
9. The Spinning Continuous
10. I You We
11. Blasting Through
12. Solid Forms Dissolving
13. Gold Will Stay
14. The Frozen Lake / The Symmetry
15. Until Moon Medium Hears the Message
16. (Drifts)
17. Signal Morning

Qui Releases Ultimate Limited-Edition eBay Fodder

Just envision it. Holding it in your hands, lifting the cover off your turntable -- slipping it into place, and setting the needle down. Ah, your very own super limited-edition Qui 7-inch.

- The label: Infrasonic Sound Recording Company.
- The tracks: "Prison Braid" and "I Love You," off the band's forthcoming full-length set to be released later this year.
- The sound: LOUD.

The Los Angeles-based band is fronted by David Yow, former vocalist for The Jesus Lizard and Scratch Acid. They're booked to play ATP's The Fans Strike Back May 9, and the 7-inch is available only at the band's merch table on the day of the event. 500 numbered copies are in existence, and if you're not lucky enough to be attending the festival that day, you can try your luck at buying what's left (if any) at the aforementioned label's website.

If all this limited, exclusive stuff is making you feel a little bummed out, do not despair. For our friends at Infrasonic are being kind enough to make the MP3 versions of the tracks available for free download the day of Qui's performance at the previously mentioned web address. (They'll also produce a more widespread digital release at the end of the month, but that kinda ruins my whole "collector's gold" angle.)

The Melvins to Play Dates in Japan and America; TMT Writer to Cross Out Final Two Items on His Bucket List

David Nadelle has piles. Sitting in for the recuperating pile and answering the latest batch of random questions misguidedly sent to Tiny Mix Tapes is Melvins addict Rufus “Roofie” Gigglestick.

***

Q: Ordinarily, I’m content to kick back and let Rascal Flatts dictate my mood but lately I have felt the compulsion to jump completely outside my normal music boxes and experiment with something mind-expanding. Where would you recommend I start? --Pimples in Providence, Rhode Island

A: That’s a good question to start with and an easy one to answer. The Melvins will suit your needs and will provide the portal into noise experimentation and outer-space rock worlds that you seem to be craving. Their back catalogue is a sprawling mess of singles and albums which can take you into any number of directionless wormholes of awesomeness. The last bunch of releases are on Ipecac, but you cannot really go wrong with any of 'em. Maybe I'm biased. People say that having a child changes your life immeasurably but discovering The Melvins is like having eight sets of octoplets with the Octomom. You’ve been warned.

***

Q: Since coming to terms with my chronic jack ‘n’ snacking after an unfortunate incident at a Taco Bueno in February, I am still having troubles controlling and acting upon my sexual urges. Is it wrong to act upon feelings of a sexual nature in public, namely, in school and church? I must know if this is wrong, because I’ve been told that if something feels good, you do it! Also, is it possible to break your penis? --Hotpants in Reseda, California.

A: Um, not sure what this has to do with anything, but I’ll answer it. Yes and no; you can't really break your bone, but you can "crack" it by intense slamming into a less flexible force like the perineum or a totem pole. As far as refraining from playing with your pink oboe in public, my advice would be to look into self-help audio guides, castration, or getting a climate-controlled set of gitch and adjusting it to the “freeze yer nuts” position. The old “set it and forget it” method. Maybe seeing a live band will help quell your weak control issues, for an hour or two anyway. The Melvins have announced a smallish U.S. tour which will take them to a number of lucky cities from May 15-24.

***

Q: For Melvins fanatics, it is common knowledge that our beloved headcases are touring the U.S. from May 15-24. This is a two-part question: are the rumors true that they are also playing in Japan in July and could it possibly be true that they are booked to play a country club in New York in September? --Izzy Noodles in Ottawa, Canada.

A: In many words, yes The Melvins will play in Japan at the Fuji Rock Festival July 24 and are playing Kutsher’s Hotel and Country Club in Monticello September 12 as part of the ATP-curated night at the 2009 All Tomorrow’s Parties U.S. Festival. Few know that before forming The Melvins, Buzz Osbourne was known by the less-intimidating moniker Shecky Osbourne and he honed his comedic slapstickery gigging up and down the borscht belt Catskills, spraying vacationers with seltzer bottles of hilarity and sometimes goat piss (which did not go down well as the hilarity). His signature gag consisted of pulling out a three-eyed sock monkey from his striped pantaloons and bellowing, Gleason-style, “THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT SLOPPY JOES! HNYUK, HNYUK, HNYUK…!” Now you know.

***

Q: What is the easiest way to fit more jack ‘n’ snacking into my daily routine? --Hornytoad in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

A: Oh, c’mon! I should have known I’d get this from TMT readers! Fuck this jack ‘n’ snack shit! Nadelle, if you’re reading this, don’t ever ask me for a favor again. Also, give me back the daiquiri maker you borrowed in 2006, you spineless poseur. I hope those piles are radioactive. Ugh, here are the upcoming Melvins dates. Everyone’s a winner

05.15.09 - New York, NY - Webster Hall
05.16.09 - Boston, MA - Paradise
05.18.09 - Chicago, IL - Double Door
05.20.09 - Austin, TX - Emo’s
05.22.09 - Seattle, WA - Showbox
05.23.09 - Seattle, WA - Showbox
05.24.09 - Portland, OR - Roseland
07.24.09 - Tokyo, Japan - Fuji Rock Festival
09.12.09 - Monticello, NY - Kutsher’s Country Club (ATP)

Phoenix Tour North America This Summer, Don’t Go to Phoenix

One fateful day, three separate people e-mailed me Phoenix's single "1901" from the forthcoming Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, set for release May 26. It was a lot like my mom getting bombarded with that Susan Boyle video, except the only difference here is, unlike my mumsy and Susie, I don't know the status of their eyebrows.

After a few shows on this continent, Phoenix will head over to Europe and Asia and tour right through August.

The dates:
06.12.09 - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo Festival
06.13.09 - Chicago, IL - Park West
06.15.09 - Toronto, ON - Phoenix Concert Theatre
06.16.09 - Montreal, QC - Les Saints
06.17.09 - Boston, MA - Paradise Rock Club
06.18.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg *
06.19.09 - New York, NY - Terminal 5
06.21.09 - Washington, DC - Rock and Roll Hotel
06.23.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Varsity Theater
06.25.09 - Denver, CO - Bluebird Theater
06.27.09 - San Francisco, CA - Regency Center - Grand Ballroom
06.28.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Wiltern Theater

* Lightspeed Champion

Fleet Foxes to Keep Playing the Same Songs For a Little While Longer; Announce 2009 North American Tour Dates and Release “Mykonos” 7-inch Today

Oh my god, out of my f-ing way, everyone! I’ve gotta get to the physical record store because it’s New Release Tuesday and the Fleet Foxes “Mykonos” 7-inch is OUT TODAY on Sub Pop!

Hurry, hurry, I don’t want to be the last sarcastic, bearded, employed-but-not-corporate, white, 20-something guy to grab this hot new gatefold sleeved-single and drop a needle on that shit and be all like whoooaaaaaaah-ho-ho-hoooaaaah!... Uh, what? Hey... wait a minute. I already HAVE this song. It’s literally a year old from that damn Sun Giant EP! Actually, come to think of it, I own the dang thing TWICE, because it was ALSO included on the vinyl version of last summer’s self-titled full-length (TMT Review) (which, yes, as a sarcastic, bearded, employed-but-not corporate, white, 20-something guy, I own and still put on fairly regularly to compliment my turgid “White Wine and Wallace” nights that I -- yes, I -- invented). Damn those laurel-resting bastards!

Well, it’s okay. I have to calm down here... after all, it’s probably at least backed with a new song, right?? Hmmm, let me just check Sub Pop’s releases real quick in my favorites... Oh, son of a bitch! The B-side is just a cover of the traditional folk ballad

“False Knight on the Road” (made popular by Steeleye Span and Richard Thompson) that I already downloaded from the internet a while ago because it’s not even previously-unreleased! Dude. I’m so disillusioned here. Now what am I supposed to do?

Oh, well it looks like they're touring North America some more this summer at least. I guess I could go see them in my home town for the fifth time in the past 12 months! Maybe they’ll play a lot of new songs on this round, if they’ve had time to write any.

Tourdates:
05.25.09 - George, WA - Sasquatch Festival
06.23.09 - Arendal, Norway - Hove Festival
06.26.09 - Glastonbury, United Kingdom - Glastonbury
06.27.09 - London, United Kingdom - Hyde Park Calling $
07.04.09 - Arvika, Sweden - Arvikafestivalen
07.29.09 - Washington DC - 9:30 Club
07.30.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Electric Factory
07.31.09 - Jersey City, NJ - All Points West Fest
08.01.09 - Newport, RI - Newport Folk Festival
08.03.09 - Montreal, QC - Metropolis Theatre #
08.04.09 - Toronto, ON - Massey Hall #
08.05.09 - Royal Oak, MI - Royal Oak Theatre #
08.07.09 - Chicago, IL - Lollapalooza
08.09.09 - Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue #
09.12.09 - North Dorset, United Kingdom - End of the Road

$ Neil Young

# with Dungen

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