The very first tattoo I ever got was that of a Trans Am on my back. This thing was huge. I got home, took off my shirt, and showed it to my mom. Her name was under it in old English lettering, "La Chaguis." She hated it and kicked me out of her home. That Trans Am tattoo was the best thing to happen to me, aside from birth control (and TMT, of course).

Speaking of abortions, schizometric synthpop band Trans Am will be going on tour. After a one-off show later this year and a couple in February, this righteous trio will embark on a U.S. tour next April, in support of some sort of album, because that's what bands do. The last album put out was Liberation in 2004, but I'm positive they will be possibly and probably be playing new music. They have to have some surprises up their sleeves — maybe a Rumsfeld piñata, maybe smoothies for everyone. If you plan to join in on the fun, I have set up driving directions to each venue if that suits your fancy. Trannies, my work here is done:

12.30.06 – San Francisco, CA – Mezzanine
02.24.07 – New York, NY – Knitting Factory * early show
02.24.07 - New York, NY – Knitting Factory *# late show
04.11.07 – Charlottesville, VA. - Satellite Ballroom ^%
04.12.07 – Chapel Hill, NC - Local 506 ^%
04.13.07 – Atlanta, GA - The Earl^%
04.15.07 – Birmingham, AL - Bottletree^%
04.16.07 – H Town (Houston), TX - Engine Room^%
04.16.07 – Austin, TX - Emo’s Jr.^%
04.18.07 – Tucson, AZ - Club Congress^
04.19.07 – San Diego, CA - Casbah^&
04.20.07 – Los Angeles, CA - Troubador^&
04.22.07 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge^&
04.23.07 - Seattle, WA - Neumos^&
04.24.07 - Vancouver, BC - Richards on Richards^&
04.27.07 - Minneapolis, MN - Triple Rock Club^%
04.28.07 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle^%
04.29.07 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick^%
04.30.07 - Toronto, ON - Lee's Palace^%
05.01.07 - Montreal, PQ - La Sala Rossa^%
05.02.07 - Boston, MA - Great Scott^%
05.04.07 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda's^%

* with Oneida
# with Pterodactyl
^ with Zombi
% with Psychic Paramount
& with Black Taj

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