If royal folk-like Duchesses and Dukes need to work hard at one thing, it’s drilling home the fact that they are better than you} in every conceivable way. As we reported earlier, Jesse Lortz, Kimberly Morrison, and their crew of noblemen have already released a new record called Sunset/Sunrise on Hardly Art earlier this fall and are currently playing the requisite amount of West Coast supporting dates. And sure, they were GONNA stop there... but then they realized that that’s just plain quitter-populist-talk!
Thus, in a deliberately shock-and-awe-style display of their wealth, superiority, fortitude, and dispassionate nonchalance, The Dutchess and The Duke have stopped clucking their tongues and stroking their beards long enough to issue the following edict:
Citizens:Whereas we have no reason to toil endlessly in day jobs as the likes of thee; and whereas our seal is recougnized, validated, respected, and feared throughout all fifty kingdoums of these United States, allowing us to pass through bourders as effortlessly as the honeyed mead which we drink through our porous royal tongues; and whereas our teeth are straighter, smiles brighter, faces gentler and more kind of continence, legs more agile, buttocks more slender, breasts fuller and higher, penises larger and longer, and so on and so forth than any mere common mourtal’s; thus also is our fall/winter tour fuller, brighter, larger, and longer than any other band’s in the land. We will, therefore, hencefourth, fourthwith commence touring these United States INDEFINTELY, so that our afourementioned kind and gentle continences may be duly and dutifully beheld by as many myriads of your humble cities’ wretched denizens as possible (women, children, and minourities exluded, of course).
Your Superiors,
The Dutchess and the Duke
(dictated but not read)}
Man... what a bunch of assholes.
11.07.09 - Sacramento, CA - Luigi's Fun Garden %
11.08.09 - Oakland, CA - 1-2-3-4 Go! in-store, 3pm #
11.08.09 - San Francisco, CA - Bottom of the Hill *
11.10.09 - Santa Cruz, CA - The Crepe Place *
11.11.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland *
11.13.09 - Irvine, CA - UC Irvine / Acrobatics Everyday *
11.14.09 - San Diego, CA - Casbah *
11.15.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Rhythm Room *
11.17.09 - Albuquerque, NM - Launchpad *
11.18.09 - Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge *
11.19.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Kilby Court (early - all ages) *
11.19.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge (late)
11.20.09 - Jackson, WY - Lyndsay McCandless *
11.21.09 - Boise, ID - Neurolux *
11.22.09 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir *
11.25.09 - Seattle, WA - Tractor Tavern *
12.04.09 - Grinnell, IA - Gardner Lounge @ Grinnell College *
12.05.09 - Chicago, IL - Reckless Records Wicker Park in-store#
12.05.09 - Chicago, IL - The Empty Bottle *
12.06.09 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th St. Entry *
12.07.09 - Omaha, NE - The Waiting Room *
12.08.09 - Lawrence, KS - Replay Lounge *
12.09.09 - Columbia, MO - Mojo's *
12.10.09 - Little Rock, AR - Sticky Fingerz Chicken Shack *
12.11.09 - Denton, TX - Rubber Gloves *
12.12.09 - Austin, TX - The Mohawk *
12.13.09 - Houston, TX - Walter's on Washington *
12.14.09 - New Orleans, LA - One Eyed Jacks *
12.15.09 - Birmingham, AL - The Bottletree *
12.16.09 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl *
12.17.09 - Indianapolis, IN - Locals Only *
12.19.09 - Milwaukee, WI - Club Garibaldi *
01.06.10 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda's ^
01.07.10 - Brooklyn, NY - Union Hall ^
01.08.10 - New York, NY - Mercury Lounge ^
01.09.10 - Northampton, MA - Iron Horse Music Hall ^
01.10.10 - Cambridge, MA - TT the Bear's ^
01.11.10 - Montreal, QC - Il Motore ^
01.12.10 - Toronto, ON - Sneaky Dee's ^
01.13.10 - Detroit, MI - Majestic Cafe ^
01.14.10 - Grand Rapids, MI - The Ladies Literary Club ^
01.15.10 - Cleveland, OH - Grog Shop ^
01.16.10 - Columbus, OH - Wexner Center ^
01.17.09 - Baltimore, MD - Metro Gallery ^
# all-ages and free!
% Blues Control
* Greg Ashley
^ Medication
