Edan To Come Over To Your Mom’s House, Treat Her Right, Maybe Tour Too

So Mr P rolls up to my house, and he's all hopped up on crack — you can tell he's high cuz he punches more than usual. He comes up to my house and he's just yelling through my window: "Hey, nunpuncher! nunpuncher! Get the fuck down here!" and he's got Matt Weir leaning on the side of his Chevy cracking his knuckles like he's in some kind of gangster film or something.

"What the fuck do you want?" I shout through my window. "You already made me say The Decemberists haven't advanced musically since their first album — I don't owe you shit! Leave me alone!"

"Get down here!" he says again. He's grinning. Shit. "I've got something!"

Before I'm even through my door, he's pulled me to the ground and I've got a mouth full of pavement. Weir's got a foot on the back of my neck, and he's pushing hard.

"Mr P wants you to write a news story about Edan's new tour," Weir says. "He's playing with Lyrics Born and Cut Chemist. Dagha's gonna be rapping with him, too. Now do what Mr P says."

I get about halfway through a good fuck-you before Mr P kicks me over and grabbed ahold of my nutsack.

"Listen, boy. I've got halfuhdozen newswriters to get through before midday, and, you little shit, you ain't nearly the greatest of my concerns. It certainly don't look like you're in any kind of situation to push back. So are you gonna squeal, little piggy, or are am I gonna have to make yer?"

"Doesn't Edan, like, write for this site?" I say. "Make him do it! It's his freakin' tour. Besides, didn't it start last week anyway??"

Whack. Feels like a freakin' crowbar in my side. I look up. It is. Weir's looking for blood. "That's a different Edan, you no good piece of shit. And yes the tour started last week, but nevermind: The next three words out of your mouth had better be 'I'll do it.'

"Okay, okay! I'll do it! Christ!" I say. Way it looks, I don't have much choice. I just want to get rid of them.

Weir crumples up a little piece of paper and stuffs it into my mouth. "Good boy," he says. Taps my cheek. "Two days." Then they drive off.

Shit, I think I hear someone coming. Quick, just take this and run:

11.02.06 - Minneapolis, MN - Foundation Nightclub
11.03.06 - Milwaukee, WI - Eagles Club
11.04.06 - Chicago, IL - The Abbey Pub
11.05.06 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
11.06.06 - Toronto, ON - Phoenix Concert Theatre

11.08.06 - South Burlington, VT - Higher Ground
11.09.06 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East Downstairs
11.10.06 - New York, NY - Webster Hall
11.11.06 - Philadelphia, PA - Theater of Living Arts

Bonjour, mes amis! Je m'appelle Squéo et je suis un américain. Je suis désolé. Comment vous appellez-vous? Bon! J'aime les États-Unis, mais j'aime mieux Canada. Les Georges Leningrad sont canadiens! J'aime Les George Leningrad! Aussi, je t'aime! Les Georges Leningrad sont une groupe de trois personnes - Bobo Boutin, Mingo L'Idien, et Poney P. Ils ont un nouveau LP s'appelle Sangue Puro sur Tomlab. C'est magnifique! Les Georges Leningrad sont trés sympathique, individualiste, et assez excentrique. Oui, c'est vrai: J'aime Les Georges Leningrad.

Donc. Les Georges Leningrad vont aller à une tournée des États-Unis et du Canada le 8 novembre à le 10 décembre. J'aime Canada et des canadiennes! J'aime Les Georges Leningrad! Je t'aime! Merci pour écouter. J'ai honte. Mon dieu... j'ai honte.

Les dates de la tournée:

11.08.06 - Allston, MA - O'Brien's Pub
11.09.06 - New York, NY - Knitting Factory
11.10.06 - Philadelphia, PA - Khyber
11.11.06 - Baltimore, MD - Talking Head Club
11.12.06 - Chapel Hill, NC - Local 506
11.13.06 - Knoxville, TN - Pilot Light
11.14.06 - Atlanta, GA - Drunken Unicorn
11.15.05 - Birmingham, AL - Bottle Tree Cafe
11.16.06 - New Orleans, LA - The Republic
11.17.06 - Houston, TX - Proletariat
11.18.06 - Austin, TX - Emo's
11.19.06 - Dallas, TX - Cavern
11.21.06 - Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge
11.23.06 - San Diego, CA - Casbah
11.24.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland
11.25.06 - San Francisco, CA - Bottom of the Hill
11.27.06 - Portland, OR - Holocene
11.28.06 - Seattle, WA - Chop Suey
11.29.06 - Vancouver, BC - Media Club
12.01.06 - Calgary, AB - Broken City
12.02.06 - Edmonton, AB - Velvet Underground
12.03.06 - East Saskatoon, SA - Amigos Cantina
12.04.06 - Winnipeg, MB - Collective Cabaret
12.05.06 - Fargo, ND - Aquarium
12.06.06 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry
12.07.06 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle
12.08.06 - Detroit, MI - Contemporary Art Institute of Detroit
12.09.06 - Toronto, ON - Sneaky Dee's
12.10.06 - Ottawa, ON - Babylon Nightclub

tout les dates avec Duchess Says

Green Day Hear Grocery Clerk’s Album, Wait 12 Years, Release Several Superior Albums, Record Grocery Clerk’s Album, and Then Finally Release It Under Their Own Name; Uh, Okay

Hearing Green Day's "American Idiot" album took Paul McPike, a 32-year-old grocery store checker in Medford, right back to high school.

But it wasn't just the album's punk-pop indictment of authority that reminded him of being a teenager. He claimed to have sung all the songs for his classmates at Independence High School, an alternative school in Sutter Creek, Calif., back in 1992.

McPike, who has lived in Medford for four months and worked at a ski resort in South Lake Tahoe last winter, filed a copyright infringement complaint in U.S. District Court last week. (1)

He filed a two-page complaint in the US District Court. As evidence, he has submitted a copy of 'American Idiot' and a claim that the words Green Day vocalist Billie Joe Armstrong sings on the album don't match those printed in the liner notes. (2) Obviously Armstrong has problems remembering the words because he did not write them.

In a cruel move, a judge dismissed the case, but kept the possibility of justice alive by suggesting that McPike could further research his claim and resubmit it. This is exactly what McPike plans to do, spurred on in his quest by mystery evidence he has yet to disclose. What we do know is that McPike has been writing and recording songs for fun since he was a teenager and it?s likely one of his buddies, recognizing a singular talent in their friend, bootlegged one of McPike?s performances and passed the recording along to Green Day. (3)

"It was just disbelief every time I heard it on the radio," McPike told Medford's Mail Tribune newspaper.

McPike claims to have written several letters to both the band and their label, Warner Bros. Records, but never received a reply to his allegations. So he felt that he was left with no alternative but to go to court. He's seeking an unspecified share of the profits from the 2004 album and the 2005 Bullet In A Bible concert CD/DVD that includes songs from American Idiot. (4)

(1) http://www.mailtribune.com/archive/2006/1024/local/stories/green-day-suit.htm

(2) http://www.nme.com/news/green-day/24905

(3) http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2006

(4) http://www.chartattack.com/damn/2006/10/2703.cfm

TMT Holiday

Report: Big Labels are Fux0rd. In Other News, My Body Requires Oxygen.

You've seen them on message boards, forums, blogs, IRC, and fucking MySpace, but a semi-respectable tech site interview is an unlikely place for an anti-DRM advocate. We've all read about the filthy hippies running Defective By Design, but those nerds didn't have anything to do with Pink Floyd or The Rolling Stones. Nor do they have a clear idea of what they're doing. So when The Register runs a Peter Jenner claiming that the major four music labels are "fucked," a few more people listen. That's good.

One of the primary reasons we're not seeing anything done about DRM is nobody knows about it. I mean yeah, you're here, but your mom and pa aren't coming by the site later to read about why DRM sucks my ass (although passing along the link is not discouraged). The Register isn't exactly Reader's Digest, but hopefully this opens a few more eyes to the dangers of this kind of control. There is no other industry I can think of that demands the consumer to give up so much freedom over the product. Can you imagine the outrage if every new couch was built to spontaneously combust if the company who built it went out of business? Or worse yet, what if Sony brand condoms infected the wearer with the bubonic plague just for a laugh. There would be riots.

Jenner speaks for those with a brain when he claims digital music pricing has been a scam where the consumer pays for manufacturing and distribution, when neither of those are done anymore. Ten years ago a 'single' required physical material and distribution by vehicle to get it to you. Now it's technically possible to finish the song in the studio and upload it to a server across the planet, without ever having to create packaging or pay for shipping. And you still pay one dollar a song. And the artist still only gets between 8 and 14 cents of that dollar, depending on their status with the label. If you're trying to support an up-and-coming act, you're currently better off burning a DRM-free copy of the album and mailing the artist a dollar. You're cutting out the greedy ass middle-man, and you don't have to worry about the CD infecting your computer with a virus.

The remainder of Jenner's interview is spent discussing his blanket-licensing model for countries to adopt, and it's a pretty sound idea. It's similar to the system we have here in Canada where we pay levies on blank media, but with Jenner's model there's no product involved, and everyone just pays a small monthly fee. This money is pooled and distributed according to artist market share, which will be tricky to figure out. The plan involves a lot less money for the labels, which partly backs his prediction of their doomed future. Another aspect of the plan (which I love) is to bring the musicians closer to the fans. By offering multiple recordings of hit songs, live cuts, and behind-the-scenes concert footage to fans, artists can tap those who would pay for such items. Everyone knows one person who owns everything The Radio-Head have ever sold, and this plan opens that level of fandom to all artists. I just hope it's not too late for K-Fed.

“You Wanted the Best …You Got the KISS DVD Instead!”

As a rule, I generally try to not get too blog-like on your asses, but some scenes have to be set using the simplest, most conversational tone. When I was six years old, I pestered my parents to send away an enrollment form and a little bit of cash to pay for my membership in the KISS Army. Although I started listening to music from an early age, KISS was the first band I held dear to my thin chest and ribcage and regarded as "my band." For my part, I received many treasures from this inclusive club — newsletters, badges, photos, and the like. However, the most important prize was an iron-on decal that came to the mailbox one day. I immediately got my mom to affix it to a shirt and consequently wore the thing out.

Do you want a less heartfelt and much sadder story? Before I was lucky enough to have that homemade t-shirt, I actually went and had another one made at the local flea market, "Shirt Stop." It was pumpkin orange with dark blue fuzzy-felt letters that simply stated "I LIKE KISS." Can you imagine? Well, you don't have to because the photo is to your left. Good grief man, if I had any credibility before (not likely), this posed picture of yours truly, bowl-cut intact, grinning like a jackass, proudly displaying said stupid t-shirt while perched on my Dad's knee, sure as hell seals the deal!

As embarrassed as I am of this, I've never been shy about confessing my allegiance to early-period KISS. I have had no problems mostly avoiding the band's past 25 years — including many awful group and four simultaneously-released solo efforts, the movie KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (which rules, actually), "unmasking", endless reunion tours, current reality show madness, co-writing songs with Michael Bolton, his and hers fragrance lines, the KISS Coffeehouse, and the boning of 20,000+ groupies — but still love the vintage, raw nuggets contained on those first few albums by New York's finest. Make no mistake, I know that KISS are all about the sell and very little about the music, but that's no reason not to be pumped about the release of KISSology Volume One: 1974-1977 this past Halloween (when else?). Needless to say, this DVD is going to be awesome when I get my hands on it. The two-disc set (three-discs in limited quantities and certain locations) covers the band's nascent years and apparently features the stuff that all good music DVDs should: loads of archival television appearances, four full concerts (San Francisco '75, Detroit '76, Tokyo '76, and Houston '77), interviews, and rare, unreleased footage including, among other things, a performance by the band at Ace Frehley's wedding in 1976. Bring on the bliss!

So, friends, have pity on the cherubic lame-ass in the photo, and trust me on this one. When it comes to KISS, you can take my words to the bank.