Elvis Costello Reissues Some Stuff, Proves Why He’s Still The King

It’s that time of year again, kids, when stuff happens. It always seems to take place right before the money from tours come in and when rent is due. But Costello is re-releasing some stuff. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not exactly calling these potboilers. It’s just what’s the point? But fear not, for that question among two or three others will not go unanswered. The King, Elvis himself, is with me.

Petya: What exactly is being released?

Elvis: The Best of Elvis Costello: The First 10 Years and Rock and Roll Music. Also, we are releasing my first 11 albums digitally.

Petya: Ew, bringin’ it back to binary I see.

Elvis: Yeah.

Petya: What is the point of reissuing these shits, my man?

Elvis: It wasn’t really my initiative.

Petya: Yeah, whatever. Blame it on the Universal Music Group.

Elvis: Okay, I will.

Petya: What if I say I don’t want to buy any of these rehashed, gilded bits of history?

Elvis: There's no compulsion to buy these records. If they interest you, you'll buy them. The fact that they're going to be available (digitally) makes people's ability to buy them in excerpts easier, because people tend to do that these days when they're online -- if they haven't stolen them already.

Petya: Ew, in my face. Psh.

Well, that’s all the quotes I could round up from Billboard.com. Seriously, though, while Elvis Costello is doing well (including a ten-day tour starting May 2 in California), there are plenty of other Elvises who have been blowing it lately. For example, Elvis Presley is super-dead. Elvis Grbac? The boy gets constant boos in Baltimore, and after he tore his vagina or something, people starting yelling, “Elvis has left the building.” Bringing up the rear is Elvis Stojka. He used to be a decent figure skater, but now he’s retired. Wait, a figure skater? Yeah, he sucks. Moral of the story: support Elvis Costello before we run out of a reputable Elvis to cheer for.