Everyone Break Out Them Dusty Copies of The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway; Phil Collins Reunites With Genesis

Yep, you heard it here first, folks... or perhaps second or third or fourth — but who's counting anyways? Phil Collins will be back behind the kit with the good folks of Genesis. It seems the soundtracking market must have dried up, so Mr. Collins has opted for the Pixies method: get back together with the band for a little touring action.

Now, those of you expecting performances of Foxtrot material will be disappointed; Peter Gabriel will not be joining the group on this little venture. But, Tony Banks and the one, the only — Mr. Mike and The Mechanics himself — Mr. Mike Rutherford will be involved in this fantastical, stupendous event.

So break out those lighters, rehearse the words to "I Can't Dance," and hold them fingers crossed for some crazy, surprise performance of Mike and The Mechanics' "The Living Years." Live that crazy dream, boys. Live that crazy dream.

Like you, I have seen a lot of shows and, hence, I have been witness to many of the same horrific scenes that you all have: the unavoidable condom and tampon parade to the toilets; the doodoo dangling lovingly on the side of the crapper that looks exactly like a little strip of bacon you ingested not an hour ago; the bloody catfights ending with one combatant totally slaying the other with the prescient, "Your soul is a douche!" Oh, to have the cash to travel to exotic lands to see the same bands you would normally at your neighborhood shit-hole. Think of the probable minimal exquisitiveness of Blå in Oslo, the "ooh la la"-ness Adieu Interessant in Copenhagen... you just know people know how to enjoy germ-free live music in the Nordic climes. Of course being far away from the safety of the northern Americas is always a daunting prospect, but wouldn't it be nice to once not have to bite your tongues and choke back the vomit at a show for once? Imagine doing lines of bravery off the side of a sparkling bidet instead off the ATM card dangerously balanced on your knees? I, like everyone loosely affiliated with the smelly beast known as TMT, crave that acrid taste of bile that rises to my throat in certain scuzz-pub atmospheres, but I'm thinking of all you fledging aristocrats out there.

No, I'm sure Denmark, Finland, Norway, and Sweden have their fair share of repellant rooms that host hundreds of sweaty acts and their even-more-sweaty fans a year, but a boy can dream. The theory can be tested firsthand if you have the spare change for airfare. And the foreign setting will be just one of the beguiling, impressive, and possibly downright frightening things to see because Carlos Giffoni (Venezuelan-born keystroke tormentor, chronic collaborator, and founder of No Fun Fest, the annual gathering of the intense in New York) and Prurient (a.k.a. Dominick Fernow, baleful tumulterrorist and Hospital Productions prez) will take to the stage at the following dates, including one together at the iDEAL Fest in Stockholm. For all of you good citizens of Oslo, Gothenburg, etc., the shows will probably just seem like just another night at your local dive, but to us it may just be nirvana. iDEAL Productions have prepared a limited-to-500-copy, collaborative release of the two artists recorded live in Bushwick in time for the tour entitled Heavy Rain Returns, which promises to be pretty much what one would expect when two such devastatingly noisome artists collide.

All shows are solo sets except where noted...

11.09.06 – Oslo, Norway – Blå *
11.11.06 – Gothenburg, Sweden – Underjorden
11.12.06 – Stockholm, Sweden – Fylkingen, iDEAL Noise Fest (Prurient/Giffoni collaboration set) #
11.13.06 – Copenhagen, Denmark – Adieu Interessant $
11.14.06 – Jyväskylä, Finland – Huoneteatteri %
11.15.06 – Tampere, Finland – Vastavirtaklubi ^
11.17.06 – Helsinki, Finland – Kuudes linja, Avanto Fest (Giffoni only)
11.18.06 – Helsinki, Finland – Gloria, Avanto Fest (Prurient only)

* with Alvars Orkestar
# with The Skaters, Mokira, Dror Feiler, and The Skull Defekts
$ with Sewer Election, Noxagt, Alvars Orkestar, and Family Underground
% with Grunt
^ with Haare
& with Pymathon, Lau Nau, Nash Kontroll, and Kaukolampi, Puranen & Nykänen
+ with Hei, Tomutonttu, Islaja, and Black Dice

Prurient himself will see his original Pleasure Ground double cassette re-released by Load Records next Tuesday on CD. The LP comes out on December 5. Here be the tracks:

1. Military Road
2. Earthworks/Buried in Secret
3. Outdoorsman/Indestructable
4. Apple Tree Victim

Decision 2006: Cave In and Rainer Maria Both Disband, But One Is Actually Just on Haitus, So Really Only One Band Has Disbanded

America has spoken. Back at the turn of the century, it seemed many people supported these groups, but the American voting public has called for a change. The central issue in this campaign, exit polls revealed, was Emo. The genre people were enamored with circa 2000, the musical movement that had many a person asking “What is Emo?” seems to have become, in 2006, a big joke and a turn off to most voters. The numbers indicate the most recent releases of the two ousted incumbents — CI's Pitch Perfect Black, from 2005, and RM's Catastrophe Keeps Us Togehter, from this year — did nothing to turn the tide of indifference.

Now that both groups have broken up/disbanded/gone-on-indefinite-hiatus (the former for Rainer Maria, the latter for Cave In), what comes next? The public can now look forward to a future where six or seven bands could be playing their town at any one time with the words “ex-Rainer Maria” or “ex-Cave In” in parentheses next to a new group’s name on the flyer. While Cave In have no plan for any farewell shows, Rainer Maria are going to concede the election in a two-city event, planned for December in Philadelphia and New York.

Rainer Maria tourdates:

12.15.06 - Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church
12.16.06 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom

New Sloan Album Coming Out On Yep Roc, No Connection Between Them and Elijah

The Halifax-born, Toronto-residing boys in Sloan have been called the “next Nirvana,” the “next Oasis,” and the “next Strokes,” not to mention the “next Big Thing” so many times, too numerous to count, over the course of their 15 years together. They have had a lot of success in their native land, but the big-time never came calling in the states, as the band have amassed a small, yet devoted, fanbase in the U.S. Think of them as the Canadian Blur, but without any 'Woo Hoo'-ing. Crap, that’s another label, which is very unfair to the band. Plus, as a live band, they blow Blur out of the water.

After 15 years and seemingly a different label for every release (DGC, the Enclave, RCA and Koch, just to name a few), you would think Sloan would be worn down by the music industry bullshit. But that does not seem to be the case. They are back on a new U.S. label, Yep Roc (Billy Bragg, Apples in Stereo, Radio Birdman), and are about to release a monster record on the American public. Out January 9, Never Hear The End Of It is a 2 LP/1 CD album containing 30 songs. The record, already released in Canada, is full of more hooks, harmonies, and melody then most artists achieve during their entire career. (For shame, Wolf Eyes, for shame.) Look for the band to be touring the U.S.A. in during the winter and spring. Will this be the record that makes takes them to the top of the Billboard charts? Probably not, but more than few people will surely be anticipating this record.

Never Hear The End Of It tracklist:

1. Flying High Again
2. Who Taught You to Live Like That?
3. I've Gotta Try
4. Everybody Wants You
5. Listen to the Radio
6. Fading into Obscurity
7. I Can't Sleep
8. Someone I Can Be True With
9. Right or Wrong
10. Something's Wrong
11. Ana Lucia
12. Before the End of the Race
13. Blackout
14. I Understand
15. You Know What It's About
16. Golden Eyes
17. Can't You Figure It Out?
18. Set in Motion
19. Love Is All Around
20. Will I Belong?
21. Ill Placed Trust
22. Live the Life You're Dreaming Of
23. Living with the Masses
24. HFXNSHC
25. People Think They Know Me
26. I Know You
27. Last Time in Love
28. It's Not the End of the World
29. Light Years
30. Another Way I Could Do It

New Sloan Album Coming Out On Yep Roc, No Connection Between Them and Elijah

I'm a little scenester

tall and thin

These are my Converse

this is my fringe

When I get all steamed up

hear me shout:

"The Faint are touring

and it's sold out":

11.28.06 - Denver, CO - Ogden *
11.29.06 - Salt Lake City, UT - In The Venue
12.01.06 - Vancouver, BC - Richards on Richards
12.02.06 - Seattle, WA - Showbox *
12.03.06 - Portland, OR - Roseland *
12.05.06 - San Francisco, CA - Mezzanine *
12.06.06 - San Diego, CA - 4th and B *
12.07.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Palladium *
12.08.06 - Long Beach, CA - The Vault *
12.09.06 - Pomona, CA - Glass House
12.10.06 - Tempe, AZ - Marquee Theatre
12.12.06 - Austin, TX - La Zona Rosa *
12.13.06 - Houston, TX - Warehouse Live *
12.15.06 - Lawrence, KS - Granada
12.16.06 - Omaha, NE - Sokol Auditorium
12.17.06 - Omaha, NE - Sokol Auditorium

* w/ Ratatat

Edan To Come Over To Your Mom’s House, Treat Her Right, Maybe Tour Too

So Mr P rolls up to my house, and he's all hopped up on crack — you can tell he's high cuz he punches more than usual. He comes up to my house and he's just yelling through my window: "Hey, nunpuncher! nunpuncher! Get the fuck down here!" and he's got Matt Weir leaning on the side of his Chevy cracking his knuckles like he's in some kind of gangster film or something.

"What the fuck do you want?" I shout through my window. "You already made me say The Decemberists haven't advanced musically since their first album — I don't owe you shit! Leave me alone!"

"Get down here!" he says again. He's grinning. Shit. "I've got something!"

Before I'm even through my door, he's pulled me to the ground and I've got a mouth full of pavement. Weir's got a foot on the back of my neck, and he's pushing hard.

"Mr P wants you to write a news story about Edan's new tour," Weir says. "He's playing with Lyrics Born and Cut Chemist. Dagha's gonna be rapping with him, too. Now do what Mr P says."

I get about halfway through a good fuck-you before Mr P kicks me over and grabbed ahold of my nutsack.

"Listen, boy. I've got halfuhdozen newswriters to get through before midday, and, you little shit, you ain't nearly the greatest of my concerns. It certainly don't look like you're in any kind of situation to push back. So are you gonna squeal, little piggy, or are am I gonna have to make yer?"

"Doesn't Edan, like, write for this site?" I say. "Make him do it! It's his freakin' tour. Besides, didn't it start last week anyway??"

Whack. Feels like a freakin' crowbar in my side. I look up. It is. Weir's looking for blood. "That's a different Edan, you no good piece of shit. And yes the tour started last week, but nevermind: The next three words out of your mouth had better be 'I'll do it.'

"Okay, okay! I'll do it! Christ!" I say. Way it looks, I don't have much choice. I just want to get rid of them.

Weir crumples up a little piece of paper and stuffs it into my mouth. "Good boy," he says. Taps my cheek. "Two days." Then they drive off.

Shit, I think I hear someone coming. Quick, just take this and run:

11.02.06 - Minneapolis, MN - Foundation Nightclub
11.03.06 - Milwaukee, WI - Eagles Club
11.04.06 - Chicago, IL - The Abbey Pub
11.05.06 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
11.06.06 - Toronto, ON - Phoenix Concert Theatre

11.08.06 - South Burlington, VT - Higher Ground
11.09.06 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East Downstairs
11.10.06 - New York, NY - Webster Hall
11.11.06 - Philadelphia, PA - Theater of Living Arts