Faith No More Announce U.S. Tour. FINALLY!

Faith No More, one of the many bands of Mike Patton and one of the few bands to justify the existence of “funk-metal,” have, at last, announced plans to bring their reunion tour to these United States of America. The band, recently reunited after an 11-year break, have been playing a bevy of dates around the world on the cleverly titled “Second Coming” tour.

Here's how it went down: American fans felt their hearts breaking after they heard of Faith No More's initial reunion (TMT News) and spent day after day waiting for some sort of sign that the band would be bringing the awesome piano coda (and the rest of their songs) back to U.S. stages. Those same fans became overjoyed when they read bassist Billy Gould’s Twitter account last week and saw some exciting news: “Tweet THIS: In response to all of our concerned US brethren...YES...we are now actively planning US dates."

I’m already preparing my Mr. Bungle shirt and Doc Martens for the show, even though no dates or further information have been made available.

This week, Rammstein released a new album titled Liebe Ist Für Alle Da ("Love Is There for Everyone"). Who gives a shit about Rammstein, right?? WRONG. Not only did these crazy German pervs recently release a video for first single "Pussy" on adult website Visit-x -- which appropriately features a chick rubbing her poon, another sucking off some dude's throbbing gristle, and a high-arc cum shot that ker-splats on a to-be-lusted-over blonde's ass -- they've also released a box set version of the album that rivals The Smashing Pumpkins' Aeroplane Flies High as the best box set ever!

Scheduled for release later this year, the set features a special-edition version that contains the full album, five extra tracks, and blah, blah, blah, who gives a shit about the actual music, etc. The real draw? THE SEX TOYS. Yes, dear TMT reader, the set, housed in a metal flight case, comes with handcuffs, lubricant, and SIX pink dildos. This means you can have one up your ass, one in your vag, one in your mouth, and still have three leftover to stick in friends and family! Not quite ready to stick a fatty dildo up your turd-shooter? Don't worry! Rammstein have included dildos of various sizes, so if you think, say, dildo #5 looks rather tasty, it wouldn't be a bad idea to sit on #4 first and work your way up. The best part? The dildos are apparently sized according to the band members' members, so now you can practice all you want before Rammstein passionately deflowers you in person.

Now this is how you stay relevant! Ball's in your court, Vampire Weekend.

Liebe Ist Für Alle Da tracklist:

1. Rammlied
2. Ich Tu Dir Weh
3. Waidmanns Heil
4. Haifisch
5. B********
6. Frühling in Paris
7. Wiener Blut
8. Pussy
9. Liebe ist Für Alle Da
10. Mehr
11. Roter Sand

Wooden Shjips Tour East Coast

I decided to take a nap before writing this story today, and just as I was drifting off to sleep, I was struck by the most “genius” idea. “Wooden Shjips!” I said to myself. “I’ll write a piece entirely using seafaring words, such as “setting sail for tour” or “Ahoy! The San Francisco psych garage band is embarking on a mighty voyage across the East Coast.” Then I woke up and I realized how stupid the idea was. THANK GOD FOR NAPS RIGHT???

So now here you have it, just a simple story about how awesome this tour will be and about how horribly deficient the right side of my brain is. The cool thing about this tour is that Wooden Shjips are performing new musical arrangements for the 92Y Tribeca’s Halloween weekend screening of the spooooky film The Wicker Man. I will now refrain from any “dad” jokes about it being rated “Arrrrrr.” You’re welcome!
10.24.09 – Baltimore, MD - The Golden West Café*
10.25.09 - Washington, DC - The Red and The Black**
10.26.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Kung Fu Necktie***
10.27.09 - New Haven, CT - Café Nine****
10.28.09 - Northampton, MA - The Elevens
10.29.09 - Somerville, MA - P.A.’s Lounge*****
10.30.09 - New York, NY - Wicker Man Party at 92Y Tribeca******
10.31.09 - New York, NY - 171 Lombardy St********

*The Flying Eyes, Ringo Deathstarr

**Black Whales

***Birds of Maya, Sounds of Kaleidoscope

****The Stoned Ambassadors

*****Sunburned Hand of the Man

****** Effi Briest, Silver Summit

*******Vivian Girls, Crystal Stilts, Religious Knives

Weezy F. Baby, a.k.a Lil Wayne, Pleads Guilty to Gun Charge, Faces Year in Prison, Plans Collaboration With T.I.

Yesterday, in a New York courtroom, Lil Wayne plead guilty to attempted possession of a firearm in the second degree after having previously plead not guilty to charges brought by the NYPD. Tipped by the familiar scent of cannabis sativa, the police searched and found a .40 calibre handgun on Wayne’s tour bus in July 2007. According to Allhiphop.com, Lil Wayne has opted to accept a plea bargain that carries a maximum sentence of one year in the slammer after DNA evidence found on the gun was decided to be admissible, despite Wayne’s lawyer calling the techniques to acquire said evidence “problematic.”

According to the Rolling Stone, Lil Wayne is also facing felony drug possession and handgun charges when police in Arizona searched and allegedly seized 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine, 41 grams of ecstasy, drug paraphernalia, and a handgun. Lil Wayne has yet to comment on the newest charges, only offering up a decidedly cool “What’s up?” to reporters waiting outside the courtroom.

Wayne is set to be sentenced in February, and because of the guilty plea, the status of Weezy’s forthcoming album Rebirth, originally scheduled for December 15, remains undecided and unclear.

RIP: Maryanne Amacher, experimental composer

From Pitchfork:

Arts Journal's Post Classic blog reports that the experimental composer Maryanne Amacher has died, possibly after suffering a stroke. According to Post Classic, she was 66 years old.

Amacher was known for her installations, which caused listeners to question the nature of sound and the effects it has on the brain. She studied with Karlheinz Stockhausen and worked with the likes of John Cage and Alvin Curran. She was the first Rosekrans Artist in Residence at Mills College, and more recently she taught electronic music at Bard.

- Maryanne Amacher Wikipedia entry

When it comes to new music there is hype slinging and there is dung slinging and while it can be argued that the two exercises are one in the same, it is often true that the former quickly begets the latter due to the overpowering, addictive rush that comes with "breaking a band" and all that entails. That is why it's always nice to see new bands weather small storms of attention but remain relatively free from the eye of the hype hurling hurricane by getting on with the job at hand: making good records. One of the minor but significant music success stories of this year is Woodsist, who have understatedly released fantastic lo-fi gems, from the reissue of Kurt Vile's lauded Constant Hitmaker to The Fresh & Onlys' recent Grey-Eyed Girls to Woods' beloved Songs of Shame. After a couple of number of highly-rated singles, including this one (scroll down), the latest jewel in Woodsist's crown, Real Estate, will issue their very geographical/nautical/seasonal-themed self-titled, debut album on November 17. From that throwaway album description you would be right to wonder if I'm talking out of my ass. I am (as always), but take a look at these song titles and tell me I'm wrong!

[Note: disregard the song "Fake Blues" as part of this discussion as it is the one subject aberration on the album. That track is about John Mayer.]

Real Estate:

1. Beach Comber
2. Pool Swimmers
3. Suburban Dogs
4. Black Lake
5. Atlantic City
6. Fake Blues
7. Green River
8. Suburban Beverage
9. Let's Rock the Beach
10. Snow Days

'Tis the time of the year when all good folk flock to New York for the annual entertainment orgy CMJ, and Real Estate is no exception. The New Jersey quartet of Alex Bleeker, Martin Courtney IV, Etienne Pierre Duguay (Predator Vision), and Matthew Mondanile III (Ducktails) braved the wild, raging Hudson River in order to play the obligatory three-dozen CMJ shows in six days of which they are in the midst of doing. Not in NYC? That's okay, because there are other East Coast shows on this tour as well as a recently announced slate of West Coast dates. Apart from Japandroids (who they played with the past few days in New York), Real Estate will be performing selected dates with similarly buzzed-up hotties Neon Indian, Vivian Girls, and Girls (sans Vivian) before travelling westward for gigs, one of which will be with Hüsker Düde Grant Hart.

Superintendents of the world unite!
10.23.09 - New York, NY - The Delancey (Underwater Peoples Showcase)
10.24.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg (Mexican Summer Showcase)
10.24.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Market Hotel (Pitchfork Showpaper Benefit)
10.25.09 - New York, NY - The Living Room (Kidrockers Presents) ^
10.30.09 - Storrs, CT - University of Connecticut *
11.02.09 - Hoboken, NJ - Maxwell's +
11.03.09 - Washington, DC - Black Cat +
11.04.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Kung Fu Necktie +
11.06.09 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom +
11.07.09 - Boston, MA - Great Scott +
11.08.09 - Ithaca, NY - TBA
11.09.09 - Montréal, QC - Il Motore +
11.10.09 - Toronto, ON - El Mocambo +
11.11.09 - Detroit, MI - Majestic Cafe
11.12.09 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle +
11.13.09 - Madison, WI - Der Rathskeller (U of W)
11.14.09 - Iowa City, IA - Public Space One
11.15.09 - Denver, CO - Hi-Dive #
11.16.09 - Salt Lake City, UT - Kilby Court
11.18.09 - Seattle, WA - The Funhouse
11.19.09 - Portland, OR - Holocene
11.20.09 - San Francisco, CA - Hemlock Tavern
11.22.09 - Santa Cruz, CA - Crepe Place
11.23.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland
11.24.09 - San Diego, CA - TBA
11.25.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Modified Arts
11.26.09 - El Paso, TX - Black Market
11.27.09 - Austin, TX - Mohawk
11.28.09 - Dallas, TX - The Cavern
11.29.09 - Little Rock, AR - Sticky Fingerz
12.01.09 - Atlanta, GA - 529
12.02.09 - Chapel Hill, NC - Local 506
12.03.09 - Baltimore, MD - TBA

^ Neon Indian

* Vivian Girls

+ Girls

# Grant Hart

$ Moon Duo

% The Happy Hollows

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