Carl: (Walks through front door) Honey, I'm home!
Harriette: Carl! I'm so glad you're back. How was your day?
Carl: It went pretty well. I arrested a teenager who was trying to steal the new Spin Doctors cassette, caught Vice President Dan Quayle's latest speech on TV, and then moonwalked my way over to the donut shop for a bear claw! How was yours?
Harriette: Same old, same old. I mostly listened to my boom box and did laundry. Between those acid-washed jeans of Eddie's and those Hawaiian shirts of yours, I've been pretty busy. What should we do tonight?
Carl: I thought I'd watch the Chicago Bulls game. They're unstoppable!
Harriette: Aw, Carl, we do that every night. Tonight let's do something... something... something...
Urkel: (Bounding through front door holding small, glowing blue orb) Hiya, Winslows! (Knocks over porcelain cat figurine) Did Iiiiiiii do that??
Carl: Jesus, Urkel, watch where you're going!
Urkel: Sorry! But no time to talk! I've invented a device that has the power to take us 16 years into the future!
Harriette: All the way to the year 2007?
Carl: Wow! I wonder what it will be like in the year 2007!
Urkel: I like to envision the year 2007 as a time when everyone is treated as an equal, and when we have solved the problems of war, global poverty, and corporate fraud. Or at the very least, I'd like to believe that those issues haven't snowballed into greater problems than they are now.
Carl: Surely we stop at least one of those problems from getting worse.
Urkel: Anyway, guys, the reason I built this time machine is so that we could see this band from the future called Yellow Swans!
Harriette: Are they anything like Culture Club?
Urkel: Not quite. They will go on to release numerous albums, including a better-known one in 2006 called Psychic Secession, which will be reviewed by a website called Tiny Mix Tapes.
Harriette: Are they anything like Culture Club?
Urkel: You'd be surprised. Anyway, using this time machine, I plan on taking us to every single date of the Yellow Swans Spring 2007 European tour, and once one show is over I'll use the time machine to immediately switch to the next one -- in this way, we'll be able to see every single show on the tour, back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back!
Carl: Can I bring my Rubix cube?
Urkel: Sure! So will you guys come with me?
Carl and Harriette: (In unison) OK!
Urkel: (As orb begins to glow brightly) Just put your hands on this orb, and imagine yourselves 16 years in the future. One... two... three... here we gooooooooo!
Photo: SINSALaudio
