The FCC Does a Bunch of Drugs, Gets Confused, Gets Upset at Comcast for Hindering BitTorrent Traffic

Since Bush's final State of the Union address was kind of a "just kidding!" in comparison to these last four years, it does make a little more sense that the FCC would also be instructed to make a last-ditch effort to save face. But this shit is just a barrel of monkeys: The FCC, as you may recall, recently threw the American public a few zingers like snooping in your phone conversations, e-mails, etc. Their latest bag of tricks contains an investigation to determine whether or not internet/cable provider Comcast is knowingly slowing downloads and uploads conducted through BitTorrent file-sharing software. The Associated Press has already dug up the facts and are voting yes (yeah, I went there) on the question of whether or not Comcast is throwing a wrench in there, but the internet provider is still maintaining a unified front of "nuh uh."

I don't know if I really need to further explain why this situation is kinda Twilight Zone, but since I'm writing and you're presumably reading, let's lay out the facts. What do people use BitTorrent for? The sharing of large files, of course. And what is a large file usually comprised of? Music, movies, TV shows, porn... all of which is presumably copyrighted material. So why is the FCC looking to protect the rights of Internet subscribers using this service? Aside from the remote possibility that chairman Kevin Martin has declared war on all major record labels who refuse to strong-arm their artists into writing songs dedicated to the Coolest Government Agency Ever, I'm at a loss.

I know your lease is almost up, dudes, but we're not that stupid. I do applaud your efforts, though. You can go wash those peace signs off your cheeks now; I know your old college buddies are making fun of you.

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