The FCC Does a Bunch of Drugs, Gets Confused, Gets Upset at Comcast for Hindering BitTorrent Traffic

Since Bush's final State of the Union address was kind of a "just kidding!" in comparison to these last four years, it does make a little more sense that the FCC would also be instructed to make a last-ditch effort to save face. But this shit is just a barrel of monkeys: The FCC, as you may recall, recently threw the American public a few zingers like snooping in your phone conversations, e-mails, etc. Their latest bag of tricks contains an investigation to determine whether or not internet/cable provider Comcast is knowingly slowing downloads and uploads conducted through BitTorrent file-sharing software. The Associated Press has already dug up the facts and are voting yes (yeah, I went there) on the question of whether or not Comcast is throwing a wrench in there, but the internet provider is still maintaining a unified front of "nuh uh."

I don't know if I really need to further explain why this situation is kinda Twilight Zone, but since I'm writing and you're presumably reading, let's lay out the facts. What do people use BitTorrent for? The sharing of large files, of course. And what is a large file usually comprised of? Music, movies, TV shows, porn... all of which is presumably copyrighted material. So why is the FCC looking to protect the rights of Internet subscribers using this service? Aside from the remote possibility that chairman Kevin Martin has declared war on all major record labels who refuse to strong-arm their artists into writing songs dedicated to the Coolest Government Agency Ever, I'm at a loss.

I know your lease is almost up, dudes, but we're not that stupid. I do applaud your efforts, though. You can go wash those peace signs off your cheeks now; I know your old college buddies are making fun of you.

twlghtsd.doc

Hey, it's me, a newswriter. Got something steaming fresh to tell you about, and let me tell you, well, about it, um. It's about music. By definition, this is music news: and here it comes. News item news
item, you have been chosen -- for recognition. You will be placed on the ‘net, and you will be silently absorbed. Bye bye, little news item. I did my best.

Got a good one ready for today. Gonna take that tourdate, that collection of tourdates, going to first get it all formatted, let's see here...

and that's that; let's get on to the good stuff. The stuff a news story requires. Info. Information about dates, these perfectly formatted dates. The band that goes with these dates is of course The Twilight Sad, and in a couple seconds, I will produce a laugh riot by taking the word "twilight" and combining it with "sad" in a way that's just downright hilarious. The story will pretty much write itself once I think of the perfect premise that I'm just inches away from announcing in my head and then into your home.

Yes, the story is going to be a good one. It's going to have laughs. It's going to have info. Just tons of info. It's going to gain some respect for TMT. Like we're really "gettin' it down now." That's what all the blogs'll say. The blogosphere. It's going to just take you down, probably one swoop, with just the title alone. So there's laughs coming, there's information, there's music behind it all, and I guess I'd just like you to sit back and enjoy yourself while I deliver the news report of a lifetime. Take it away:

AA’s For Quitters: Blonde Redhead Forever!

Blonde Redhead is a New York indie-rock trio consisting of Kazu Makino (female) and Italian twins Simone and Amedeo Pace (males). With a sound often compared to that of Deerhoof and Sonic Youth, Blonde Redhead has been developing an ethereal style of their own since 1993, working with the likes of Guy Picciotto (Fugazi) and Alan Moulder (mixer of the illustrious Smashing Pumpkins, U2, and NIN). But more importantly, they're a bitchin' drink!

Blonde Redhead Martini:

Ingredients--
- 3/4 oz Vanilla Stoli
- 1/4 oz Chambord
- 1 1/2 oz dry champagne
- 1 1/2 oz 7-up
- Splash of lemon juice

Fill martini shaker with ice, add Vanilla Stoli and Chambord; shake. Pour into a sugar-rimmed martini glass, top off with Champagne, 7-Up, and a splash of lemon juice. Garnish with wedge of pink grapefruit. Get trashed on sugar-booze.

Makes: 1.

Oh to be in Copenhagen:

Dianogah Prep New LP For May with Guest Spots from Andrew Bird and More, Plan Hideout Debut

Chicago trio Dianogah have always been distinct in that, instead of the usual bass/drums/guitar lineup, they're anchored by bassists Jason Harvey and Jay Ryan and drummer Kip McCabe. Hard to believe it's been five long years since they released the stellar Millions of Brazilians (Southern), but thankfully the wait is over, as they've recently announced a comeback of sorts with a new album.

Harvey confirmed last week that the upcoming, as-yet untitled LP consists of 12 new songs and "features guest appearances by Andrew Bird, Mark Greenberg, Stephanie Morris, and Billy Smith." Although the LP is slated for a May release, Harvey insists an exact release date is still up-in-the-air.

The band has two upcoming dates, one next weekend in Milwaukee and a record release party at Chicago's famed Hideout May 31 that will include Bird, Greenberg, Morris, and Smith all playing their respective parts.

Millions Of Tourdates:
02.09.08 - Milwaukee, WI Cactus Club*
05.31.08 - Chicago, IL The Hideout#

* Qualms, Poison Arrows

# Head of Skulls

Tracklist: